Igor Yevtishenkov - Collection of Stories

Looking forward so much to seeing you soon,

Patric

I have some financial problems at the moment. I can’t understand how I have been tangled up in this situation. I owe my landlady a hundred dollars. I have to pay up before the end of the month. What’s worse, I’ve run upmany other bills. I haven’t the slightest idea how I’m going to pay backmy debts. I could try to sell my old rotten car but it’s highly unlikely. I can’t even give it away. Our boss said they’d have to cut backour pay from next month. That’s terrible! I really counted onthat money. So I don’t know what I am going to do to get alongand be solvent.

Ben

“It’s way too expensive. Can I have it cheaper?”

“He is driving a hard bargain. He says twenty dollars and he’ll break even.”

“Try to beathim down to fifteen. Tell him that guy over there is selling cheaper.”

“It won’t work. He is very stubborn. But who dares wins.”

“So any success?”

“Sort of. He knockedthree dollars offfor cash.”

“Great! That’s a real bargain. Let’s go and pick up something else!”

“I think we could club togetherand buy a gift for Kate. It’s her birthday in a week.”

“No problem! But we’d be better off going to another market. They seem to ripus offhere, if they see we are really interested in anything.”

“All gift shops for tourists are a rip-off. They overinflate pricesand try to throw in some rubbish!”

“Yeah, I know. They swindle tourists all over the world. Let’s take our time and shop around. Do you mind?”

“No, I don’t. You are right. Last time I snapped upa Diesel bag in a store, a few minutes later I found the same one at half pricearound the corner.”

“Bad luck! Things happen. Last year we were in an Aqua park in Egypt and had to fork outfive bucks for a can of cola. That beats everything! Can you believe it?”

I said to myself, “It’s enough!” I have to stock up onfruit and vegetables and forget about junk food. I am not going to be on a diet but I have to avoid rich and fatty products. I won’t skimp onhealthy foods. I know I splashed outon some new clothes for my children last month and ran up a huge bill. They were sellingthem offat half price and I couldn’t help buying. I snapped up a bargain. I know the next day all the clothes were sold out! So I think a lack of money is now a good chance for me to think how to stay in shape and keep fit. I do want to be slim and slender.

Julie’s birthday was coming and Bill offered to throw a party at a small hotel. He knew what to do as he’d organized one the year before.

“Ladies and Gentlemen – instead of buying unwanted gifts, would you mind chipping in? We won’t trouble your parents,” he asked. Julie liked the idea but she was worried about the money.

“Are you sure they will all club together? Renting a hotel hall is not cheap. How much was it for your birthday last year?” she asked. Bill had barely answered when the door opened and little Reece turned up. There was silence in the room.

“Don’t be a chicken! I won’t give you away to our parents. But I want a piece of the action, as mother says’, demanded Reece and held out his piggybank.

“Oh, it’s very you, Reece’, sighed Julie but Bill was more optimistic:

“Well done, boy! You are in!” he said and patted the little one’s head.

Pupil, “Sir, I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions.

Teacher, “Fine. No problem. Fire away!”

Girl, “I am afraid of failing Maths tomorrow and feel so awful at the moment.

Her roommate, “Oh, lighten up, will you! You’ll just bring everyone down!”

She, “Joanna wants you to talk to her on the phone.”

He, “Joanna? On the phone? Hang on/ Hold on! Who’s Joanna? Is she someone I know?”

Boy, “I feel like killing Jim! He setme up!”

His father, “ Steady on! I know he acted stupidly, but he was annoyed and in reality, he’s not a bad person.”

Son, “I’ve got a problem at school. Will you promise to take it easy on me?”

His father, “Come on! Spitit out!What awful things have you done again?”

Student, “I tried my best to find the book but failed. It was not available in our e-library either.”

Teacher (smiling), “ Come off it! If you’d tried, you could have just opened your lecture notes and looked at the links I referred you to.”

When he started up the engine, she nervously said:

“ Step on it! We’re late’. Just a few meters walk away, an elderly couple were crossing the road at the traffic lights.

“ Watch out!” he answered pointing ahead through the windshield. “The traffic lights are against us. All I need is to lose my license now’.

As the green light showed, she demanded again:

“ Damn it! Go on! Hurry up! We’ve not got all day! If we are late, I’ll die. I can’t wait’.

“J ust belt up, will you!” he shouted and revved up the engine. When the well-known huge logotype showed up at the end of the street, she bit her lip trembling with impatience:

“ Come on! Come on!” and jumped out of the car as it drew up to the kerb in front of the luxury glass doors.

“ Take your time! Mind out! Watch your step! Oh, please, go easy on them!” he was begging, trying to keep up with her.

“ Come along!” she said over her shoulder while walking. “Excuse me, where is the make-up department?” she asked the first shop assistant she ran into. “I heard that there’s a Christmas sale.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, there must be some mistake,” the girl replied. “We have no make-up department. This is a computer electronics store. We sell mobile phones, tablet PCs and other IT gadgets’.

“Oh my God! What a bummer!” Jennifer said… “ Forget it! Let it go. Thank you for your help!” she turned round to her husband who shook his head and sighed.

“ Calm down! Take it easy! Better luck next time, I hope’, he said and wandered slowly past.

“I want to take part in the final heat. It’ll be a real challenge to me.”

“ Don’t worry! You’re at your best! Hang in there!”

“You’ve run the first half. You’re doing very well! Keep it up!”