Iris Johansen - Blue Velvet

"How very generous of him," Kate said ironically. But then she'd known he'd be generous, at least monetarily. She only wished that generosity could have been more emotional than financial. No, she wasn't being fair. He'd shown her tenderness, laughter, passion, everything but love. It wasn't his fault he didn't have that to give her. Just as it wasn't her fault she couldn't accept the pity he offered in its place. "I won't need very much. Just a few changes of clothes."

She must be careful not to buy too much. Those shops would probably be exorbitantly expensive and it would take forever to pay Beau back after she left him. That she would leave him wasn't even in question. It was inevitable, and it must be soon. Very soon. She had to escape so she could begin to heal.

"Don't be too modest in your demands." Daniel's eyes were twinkling. "You're a married woman now. There's such a thing as community property, you know."

"If you mean to imply Beau owes me something just because of that ceremony we went through, that's utterly ridiculous," Kate said tautly. "Beau said that too. Nothing's changed just because of a few words that were spoken over us. I'm still me, with my own obligations and duties. And Beau" -her voice was becoming maddeningly husky- "Beau is still Beau." Golden-eyed recklessness, strength, and tenderness. Beau.

There was a moment of silence. "I think I detect a note of discord in honeymoon heaven," Daniel said slowly. "I noticed Beau was a little uptight but I thought it was because he was impatient with all that red tape he's having to unwind. Dealing with bureaucratic types isn't his favorite pastime." He paused. "But it's more than that, isn't it?"

She kept her eyes firmly fixed on the window. "Yes, it's more than that." She tried to smile. "I'm afraid your ordeal was all for nothing, Daniel. This is one marriage that was over before it started."

"Uh-uh." The negative was so firm it brought her startled gaze back to his face. "I detest wasted effort. It's a little idiosyncrasy of mine. After I compromised my image so drastically there's no way I'm going to let you untie the knot without good reason." His voice softened. "I saw your face after Beau had put my ring on your finger. You were glowing like a Sedikhan sunrise."

"That has nothing to do with it," she said shakily. "You heard Beau. It was only a convenience to get me past Immigration."

"A marriage of convenience?" Daniel scoffed. "Not likely, Kate. They went out with jousts and suits of armor. Beau wouldn't be involved with an idiocy like that."

"You obviously don't know him as well as you think you do." Her smile was sadly sweet. "That's exactly the kind of idiocy that Beau would become involved with. He's out to save the poor little orphan at any cost. He married me because he thought that was the only way I'd let him take care of me." She blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay. "Well, he was wrong. He should have known that blasted ceremony wouldn't make any difference."

"Oh, Lord!" Daniel groaned, closing his eyes. "Maybe Beau's an idiot after all. He certainly seems to be guilty of a remarkable lack of communication…" His lids flicked open and there was a glint of determination in their depths. "Okay, it's obviously up to old parson Daniel to clear the decks."

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips at the outrageously inept comparison. "I appreciate your wanting to help, but it's not your concern, Daniel." Those blasted tears were welling again. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"You're going to cry," Daniel accused with exasperation. "Now I'm going to have a wishy-washy prima donna on my hands."

"I'm not going to cry," she said indignantly. "And I'm not wishy-washy."

"I didn't think you were, but I'm beginning to change my mind. Whatever happened to the girl who broke me out of the Black Dragon Inn? I might have criticized your impulsiveness but not your lack of determination." He shook his head in disgust. "You and Beau are quite a pair."

"What do you want me to do?" she asked fiercely. "I can't make Beau love me and I don't want his damn pity."

"Pity!" He shook his head. "Muddle-headed as well as wishy-washy. Look, Kate, men don't marry because they feel sorry for a woman. Hell, I never thought I'd see the day when Beau would marry at all. Didn't it occur to you it would take something pretty monumental to make Beau give up his freedom after all these years?"

"I told you why he did it. He felt sorry-"

"Bull," Daniel interrupted. "He's crazy about you. I've never seen a man so besotted in my life."

"He wants me," she corrected huskily. "I would have settled for that. I know it's more difficult for men to love than it is for women." She lifted her chin. "But I won't accept any relationship where I can't at least stand upon equal terms."

"Equal terms," Daniel repeated. "Yet you clearly don't have any conception of equality in the man-woman relationship itself. Where the devil did you get the idea men were shortchanged in the emotional department?"

"But Jeffrey and Julio always-"

"All men aren't Jeffrey and Julio." Daniel was definitely annoyed. "I'd match my emotional sensitivity against yours any day. Beau loves you, damn it."

She shook her head. "He never said he loved me. He promised me everything else, but not that."

"Are declarations so important? Maybe Beau has trouble saying those words. How do I know?" He shrugged. "All I know is what I saw in his face that night he thought the Guardia had killed you. And it sure as hell wasn't pity, Kate."

"It wasn't?" Oh, God, he was probably mistaken. It was too wonderful to be true. But what if he wasn't? What if Beau actually loved her? "You're sure, Daniel?"

She sounded like an uncertain little girl and the hardness softened and then faded entirely from Daniel's face. His large hand covered hers. "I'm sure," he said gently. "I don't see how you could be so blind you couldn't see it for yourself. How many men would get themselves embroiled in the kind of brouhahas you've been inciting all over the Caribbean for someone they just felt sorry for?" He grinned. "It should have been a dead giveaway when he jumped into the sea and paddled after you like your faithful dog Tray."

"He loves me?" she whispered, her eyes aglow with wonder.

"He loves you," Daniel repeated firmly. "Perhaps it's not surprising the two of you are having trouble communicating. You were both cannoned into a relationship as if you were shot from a howitzer. You haven't had a chance to learn each other."

No, only to love each other. But if Daniel was right, they would have all the time in the world now for that other learning process. If he was right. She frowned anxiously. "It doesn't make sense. Why would he want to send me away if he loves me?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Daniel asked. "And when you do, remember you're dealing from strength. You impress me as a lady who's more than capable of getting things done once you set your mind on something. Do you want this marriage to work?"

"Yes. Oh yes," she said softly.

"Then I suggest you set about assuring that it will." He winked. "Just pretend that Beau is a cocaine cache to be snatched or an imprisoned crew to be rescued. That should make it a piece of cake."

Her hand tightened on his. "I'll do that." She would just take a deep breath and do what had to be done in this most important venture of her life. "Will you be there to give me a little moral support?"

He shook his head. "You don't need me. I'd just be in the way." He looked down at the gold ring on his finger. "Besides, I have a few loose ends to wind up before I go back to Sedikhan."

"You're definitely returning to your very dangerous Mr. Donahue then?" she asked lightly "Why not? I have an idea Beau is going to turn into a very boring solid citizen. That will take all the fun out of being captain of the Searcher." His smile was a little whimsical. "Remember I told you we were both searching for something? I've found what I was looking for."