Adriane Leigh - Light in Mourning

“That you make me come so hard I forget my own name.”

I started coughing and my eyes bugged out as I took in the grin that had crossed her face.

“You smart ass.” I smacked her on the bare flesh of her bottom.

“You love my smart ass.” She wiggled underneath the blanket.

“It’s a beautiful one,” I murmured as I smoothed my palm across her round ass cheek and dusted my fingers along the sensitive flesh between her legs.

“Stop,” she moaned.

“That stop sounded like a go.” I dragged my fingers through the wetness, pleased to find she wanted me again.

“It was a stop,” she finished breathlessly before grabbing my wrist and tugging it away from her ass. “Let me finish.”

“Only if you promise to let me finish after you finish.” I tugged at her nipple with my thumb and forefinger.

“You’re a horny teenager. What did you do before me? Seriously? A blowup doll under the bed? Your hand?” she teased.

“No need for blowup dolls, baby,” I grinned as her face fell. Fuck, I’d put my foot straight in my goddamned mouth. “I’m sorry,” I offered as she turned away from me.

“It’s okay. You’ve got a past. I knew that going in.” She sucked in a sharp breath before continuing. “So he just wanted to apologize for all the cheating he’d done for all the years. Wanted to know that I was happy. He seemed . . . not happy. Remorseful, I guess,” she said thoughtfully. “His baby is due next week, so I think he’s just been thinking about a lot of stuff . . .” She trailed off, twirling a piece of the blanket between her fingers.

“Do you want a baby?” I tugged her chin up to look me in the eyes. She stared me down, her eyes searching my face, before landing back on my gaze.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Soon?” My heart thudded in my chest. I wasn’t sure what I wanted her answer to be, but for the first time in my life, it didn’t terrify me. If she said yes, I would be okay with that.

“Maybe,” she murmured, avoiding my gaze.

“Okay.” It suddenly felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. She wasn’t going to leave me. If we were talking about having kids, she wasn’t going to leave.

“Okay what?” She scrunched her eyebrows up in the most adorable way.

“Okay, we can talk about it when you’re ready.”

“Really? We’re not even married.” She rolled her eyes.

“Well, we will be sooner rather than later if I have anything to say about it.” I pulled her chin to me and kissed her soft lips. “You’re beautiful, and I already asked you to marry me. I want to be married. I want to have babies with you. Buckets full.” My mouth curled into a lopsided grin.

“Buckets full of babies?” She giggled and my heart lifted a little more. If I could keep her smiling and happy, I would forever count my blessings.

“Buckets full of babies.” I nodded and kissed her lips one last time. “But until then, I plan on practicing. A lot.” I smacked her bare ass and she shrieked before darting off the couch and down the hallway. I jumped up and followed after her, because whether she knew it or not, I’d follow her. Whenever and wherever, I would always follow her.

“Hey, baby.” I wrapped her in my arms when she curled up into my lap on the porch. She laid her head on my shoulder and inhaled deeply. She dusted her nose across my sensitive flesh; she was taking me in, scenting me, and it turned me on more than she could ever imagine. “Everything okay?” I tugged on her ponytail to make eye contact with her. Her brows were knit together, her eyes downcast as if she felt guilty about something. “I told you, I’m not mad about the Kyle thing.” I rubbed my thumbs along her neck, easing her tense shoulders. It'd been a few days since the phone call she'd taken from Kyle and I was well past it. We were taking the obstacles on the road to our happily every after one bump at a time.

“It’s not that,” she said softly and then looked back to the frothing white waves rolling up the shore. I followed her gaze and watched Charlie trot along the shore.

“What is it?”

“I know this isn’t my business and I know he may be your son, but what about a paternity test?” she mumbled so softly I had to strain to hear her. I watched her beautiful eyes glancing everywhere but at me. I could tell this was uncomfortable for her, and I loved her all the more for it.

I took in a deep breath of air, filling my lungs and then glancing back to Charlie. Diva sat by the screen door, a low meow escaping her throat. “She thinks she’s part dog.” The cat sat at the screen door and meowed all damn day until someone let her out.

Georgia glanced from her cat to me, a sad smile lighting her lips. She knew this was difficult for me.

“He looks just like me, Georgia.”

“I know,” she murmured before smoothing a hand across my cheek.

“It’s just . . . I feel like the paternity test is insulting. It’s like disowning him somehow. What if he is mine, and he finds out that I took a paternity test to prove it? Isn't that shitty? Like I didn’t want him?”

“No, he doesn’t have to find out . . . it’s not like that . . . and he would know, in here.” She pressed her palm to my chest, over my heart. “He would know you loved him, how much you love him.” Her eyes searched mine. I could see she needed answers. I’d been avoiding this conversation, avoiding making this decision because of the guilt I carried over it. His mom and I had been irresponsible one night and he’d been the result and I hated knowing that. I hated the thought he would someday find out he’d been unintentional. I’d felt unwanted my entire fucking life, and here I was repeating the cycle, albeit in a different form.

“I know what you’re thinking. I can see it in those big green eyes of yours.” She stroked her thumb along my eyebrow, trying to soothe the pain away. “You’ll love him if he’s yours. He’ll feel that every day. You just need to know.”

“And you need to know?” I looked at her, not an ounce of judgment in my voice.

“We both do.” Her eyes softened as her fingers continued to work on the skin behind my neck.

“What if he isn’t?” I muttered, worrying the rim of the coffee cup with my fingertips.

“Then someone else needs to know he’s his dad. He deserves the chance to be his dad. Just like you do if you are.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled thoughtfully.

“There’s a place in Wilmington. Maybe you could go together and have the test done.”

“They have to take his blood?” My eyes swung to hers with fear.

“No.” She smiled. “Just a cheek swab. No blood.” She kissed me full on the lips. I trailed my tongue along the seam, asking her to open to me. She did immediately, her lips pliable against mine. I wrapped my arm around her back and skimmed it up to her neck, holding her tightly, needing her to feel my love for her.

“Thank you.” I pulled away, leaving one last kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“I’ll set up an appointment, okay?”

“Okay.” I caressed the skin of her shoulder as I gazed out at the water, lost in my thoughts.

“Is this test going to tell if you’re my dad?” Trevor looked up at me, big innocent eyes trained on mine. My eyebrows arched up in surprise. Jesus, did Lexi tell him everything?

“Uhmm.” I shot her a glare. She shrugged her shoulders.

“I had to tell him; he kept asking me why he needed a test when he wasn’t sick.”

“She told me they’re testing my DMA.”