Adriane Leigh - Light in Mourning

“DNA, buddy, and, yeah, they are. Just to tell us some things.” I ruffled his hair.

“Do you want to be my dad?” I opened the door of the clinic, my eyebrows shooting into my hairline.

“Yeah, of course. We have a lot of fun together, right?” I ran a hand through my hair. My heart galloped in my chest.

“Yeah, I told the kids at school how you took me to that baseball game and let me eat two hot dogs and nachos and have pop. Mom doesn’t let me have pop.”

“Shit, sorry,” I mouthed to Lexi. A small smile lit her lips. She really was pretty, in an obvious sort of way. It was no wonder I was attracted to her, and motherhood looked good on her. She seemed to be good at it, more mature for it. Her long blonde hair was twisted into a side braid, jeans and a fitted top hugging her form. She bent down and whispered something in Trevor’s ear. A frown danced across his face as he listened. I could see the resemblance between them. He may have had eyes that resembled mine, but the shape of his face and mouth were all her.

“I told him to stop asking so many questions.”

“Mom said you’re afraid of tests.” Trevor looked up at me. “I’m not afraid of tests. Mom says to just take deep breaths and stay calm when I have one at school. Want me to teach you?”

A smile lit my lips at his innocence. “Sure, buddy.” I placed a hand on his head and guided him to a chair in the waiting room while Lexi checked us in.

Fifteen minutes later, and we were walking back out the door. They’d swabbed our cheeks for DNA and now I was taking Trevor and Lexi to lunch. I’d left the decision up to Trevor where to go and he'd jumped on the chance at pizza, because apparently his mom didn’t let him have that very often either.

We slid into a booth, Trevor next to me, and Lexi across the table. Before we could even order a pizza, I ordered a beer. I needed something to calm the thumping of my heart. Georgia had been right: at least now we would know, because not knowing was starting to kill me. Only thing was, I was growing attached to the little guy, so if he wasn’t mine, that might kill me too.

Trevor rambled on about school and kids in his T-ball league as he picked the pepperoni off his pizza and ate all the cheese first before digging into the crust.

I was on my third beer when Lexi caught my attention. “Georgia’s nice.”

My eyes shot up in surprise. What was her game with this? Feeling me out? Seeing if I was ready to be a dad and a husband for her and Trevor? Because no fucking way, I was not signing up for that. If Trevor was mine I'd do everything I could for him but there was only one girl I wanted to tie myself to and it wasn't the blonde sitting in front of me. “Yeah,” I murmured and took another long draw of the amber liquid.

“It’s serious?”

“Serious enough to put a ring on her finger,” I muttered, unwilling to give her more information about Georgia. She was mine. That was between us. I wasn’t willing to let anyone else in our relationship.

“So the results will come to you, then?” She seemed to be making awkward conversation.

“That’s what they said, in thirty days or sooner.”

“Is she going to be all right if the test is positive?”

There it was. A snide comment. A snarky implication. “Are you trying to say something?” I angled my head to her.

“I just want to make sure she’s good for my son if she’s going to be in his life.”

My eyebrows shot up and I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “Georgia’s great with kids. She’ll be great.” I finished the rest of my beer and nodded the waiter over, signaling for the check. “Speaking of, I have to get back. Great seeing you, buddy. I’ll call you soon, okay? Be good for your mom.” I gave him a quick hug after he'd let me out of the booth.

“I’ll be in touch, Tristan,” Lexi called to my retreating form.

“I’m sure you will,” I murmured to myself as I exited the restaurant and sucked in a gulp of fresh sea air. I needed to get home and back to my normal life. And I also needed some scotch. Beer just wasn't enough to get me through this day.

It’d been a month since Trevor and Lexi had knocked on our door. A month since Tristan had faced the possibility of being a dad. He’d spent as much time with Trevor as he could while they were here, taking him to museums and baseball games, and talked to him nearly every night on the phone. Tristan was determined to make it work: to be civil with Lexi, and to be the right kind of dad to Trevor, whom he was all but convinced was his.

I was so proud of him for taking responsibility and embracing his new role as someone's dad, but there was also a piece of me that hated my dream was shifting again. My dream to marry Tristan and have kids together was altering. We could do that, but now there was a little tousled-haired boy that was evidence of a night Tristan had shared with someone else.

Being separated and waiting on the paternity test results was also starting to weigh in Tristan's eyes. Each night, we went to bed with an awkward silence, something unfamiliar between us.

I woke up on a Friday in August and knew I needed a break. I was sad that I needed a break from Tristan, but the truth was, he was currently in the midst of a lot of overwhelming, life-changing drama, and I needed time to process. I needed time to work through my thoughts without seeing his sad eyes peering back at me. I know he recognized the wall between us; it was just sad the wall was a beautiful little boy.

“Drew, come up. I need a girls’ weekend,” I moaned into the phone as soon as Drew picked up.

“Yeah?”

“The beach house is clear for the weekend. We’ll camp out over there, just like last summer, the three of us. I need you guys,” I nearly sobbed into the phone. Just the thought of a weekend with Drew and Silas had my emotions in overdrive. I needed my best friends. I needed them to help me forget and talk me through everything.

“Just the girls? No boys allowed?”

“Just Silas, I promise.” I beamed because I knew she was caving.

“’Kay, let me see if Mom and Dad will take Bennett for the weekend and Gavin can have man-time with Tristan. All these diapers and breastfeeding are getting to him.”

“Can’t wait to see you.”

“You too, honey.” Drew hung up and I set the phone on the counter, wrapping a chenille blanket around my shoulders and propping my feet up on the deck as the cool early autumn air swept my hair around my face.

I’d only seen Drew once since Bennett had been born and I was looking forward to some time to escape the drama that had inserted itself into my life over the past month.

“Honey, I’m home,” Drew's singsong voice echoed through the walls of the cottage. It felt like a repeat of last summer, except this time around, I was praying for less drama.

“Hey.” I locked her in a tight embrace. “How are you, and how’s my baby boy?”

“Everyone’s good.” She beamed. She looked so happy, blissfully so. Motherhood looked good on her. “In fact . . .” She held her left hand up and showed off a sparkling diamond the size of Texas.

“Jesus Christ, he could have fed a small country for the price of that.” Silas stepped into the kitchen, margarita in hand.

“Shut up.” Drew shot him a glare.

“Why the fuck do we need so much luggage to come for a weekend?” Gavin grunted as he let the bags fall from his shoulders. “We don’t even have the kid with us. Hey, Georgia.” He wrapped me in a one-armed hug.