K. Golland: Attainment

“Of course he is. He’s gonna play football for the Cats aren’t you, Bray?” I declare proudly, picking him up and placing him on my hip.

Brayden looks from the cake then to me and makes a ‘meow’ noise.

I laugh.

Screwing up his face, Jake smiles like the cheeky fuck that is. “Not if Lex has anything to do with it. According to her, he was born a Bomber like his siblings.”

“She won’t have anything to do with it. Brayden will support the Cats.”

Jake belly-laughs, “Bryce, you are fucked,” he says, right before slapping me on the back and walking off. Fucking smartarse!

I like my brother-in law, but he is a cocky son of a bitch at the best of times.

Not before long, Alexis and I are cutting our cake. My lips are deliberately pressed to hers, so that she cannot see what I have coming. “Remember when you told me how much you loved cake and cream?” I whisper, still keeping her attention fixated on me.

“Yeah,” she blushes.

“Is this just as good?”

I quickly move my hand to her face and mush a bit of cake into her mouth, cream smearing on her nose and chin.

The room fills with laughter and shocked gasps, together with Tash’s unmistakable bellow. “Bout time someone gagged you, Lex.”

Alexis stumbles back in surprise, her eyes wide open, her mouth agape with cake and cream filling it. “You didn’t just do that,” she mumbles as she closes her eyes and swallows her mouthful.

Laughing and somewhat surprised that I actually went through with it, I reply. “Yeah...I did.”

Her eyes flick open again, a renewed sense of retribution covering her face. Crap! I’m gonna fucking regret this. She raises an eyebrow and forcefully ploughs her hand into the top of the cake, grabbing a fist full before taking a step closer to me. I know what she is going to do—obviously, I deserve it—but she looks so damn sexy, so I’m willing to let her.

Standing my ground and waiting for the cake to make contact with my face, I refuse to remove my stare from hers. She stops directly in front of me, now only mere centimetres away, her eyes searing me with lust. Then, like the tempting seductress that she is, she lifts her hand and licks the cake off her fingers...slowly.

“Mmm,” she moans quietly. “This cake and cream is the best I’ve ever had.”

I watch her sexually devour her cream filled digits with her tongue. Fuck! Why are we in a room full of fucking people right now?

“Mrs. Clark,” I warn, my voice now gravelly from the lack of moisture that Alexis so easily strips me of.

“Yes?” she mumbles, swallowing her cake and smiling at me victoriously.

“I fucking love you,” I whisper aggressively, grabbing her neck and pressing her cake-smeared mouth to mine, the taste of her mixing with the vanilla sponge and cream.

The room breaks into applause, Tash’s wolf whistle dominating the sounds that follow, Nate also voicing his opinion that our cake-mushed kiss is ‘gross’.

I couldn’t care less though, wanting nothing more than to taste my wife, and considering I am not currently in a position to taste other parts of her body, I am more than happy to continue tasting her mouth.

As the evening progresses, Alexis switches between mingling with our guests and occupying the dance floor. I, on the other hand, switch between the mingling and watching her.

Alexis, Nate, Charli, and Brayden, are all dancing in a circle, encouraging Brayden to bring his moves, moves he got from me. I especially like to take responsibility for the little hip and slide action he is currently performing. I let out a laugh and take a swig of my beer.

“Little tacker dances like his uncle,” Jake says proudly, snapping me out of my loving gaze.

I raise my eyebrow at him. “You dance?”

“I put Patrick Swayze to shame.”

Coughing then choking on my beer, I call his bluff. “Bullshit! You look like you have two left feet.”

“Don’t bait me, Clark. I wouldn’t want to show you up on your big day.”

This time I laugh loudly. “Not gonna happen, Jakey Snakey,” I taunt him, Jakey Snakey being Alexis’ pet name for her brother, the same pet name Brayden now uses for his uncle. And a pet name I know Jake hates.

He slams his beer down on the nearest table. “I fucking warned you,” he smiles, then takes off toward the band. I watch with curiosity as he says something to Simon—the lead singer.

Seconds later, the unmistakable sound of drums in “Need You Tonight” by INXS sound throughout the room. Alexis and Jen’s heads both prick up like meerkats, spotting Jake head toward the centre of the dance floor. The smile that then spreads across my wife’s face indicates she knows what is about to happen.

Jen wolf-whistles and shouts, “Lexi, get over here.”

Squealing, Alexis meets my eyes and gives Brayden a gentle push on the bum, steering him toward me. And, without further encouragement, he launches himself in my direction at full speed. I swear to God, one and a half year-olds do not know how to walk. Run...yes, walk...no.

I gather him up and throw him into the air before catching him again, the sound leaving his mouth as he soars above my head the best fucking sound in the world—I could listen to my son giggle 24/7.

“What are Mummy, Aunty Jen, and Uncle Snakey up to?” I ask as I walk closer to the dance floor which is now circled by our family and friends.

“Sssssss, snake,” Brayden hisses.

I laugh. “Yes, snakes go hiss.”

He screws his face up all serious like. “Woof, woof. Grrrr.”

“Are you a cat?” I enquire.

Brayden bursts into laughter and playfully slaps me on the forehead. “Sill-ee Dadda. Bayden a dog.”

“Ohh...of course you are,” I fake my stupidity as I kiss him on the cheek.

Lifting my head to look above everyone else’s, I spot Alexis and Jen performing simultaneous dance moves as Jake dances his way around the inside of the circle. I have to admit, he isn’t bad, sliding when the lyrics suggest, then moving quite raw when the lyrics suggest that.

Johanna—Jake’s girlfriend of two years—snorts and giggles as he drags her out into the centre of the circle. Then, lifting his eyebrow up at me in a watch-this-you-motherfucker kind of way, he swings Johanna’s arms around his neck and starts dirty dancing with her—Patrick Swayze style. I shake my head then salute him. Cocky prick!

After the speeches are said, the bouquet tossed and caught by Carly, and Alexis’ electric blue garter is removed by my teeth, I can quite happily admit that I’ve had enough. I now want nothing more than to have Alexis all to myself. I want to spend the next 18 hours—that it approximately takes to fly to Paris—buried deep inside her, underneath her, on top of her, and wrapped around her.

I can’t wait. She is going to flip when she finds out where we are going, but as per usual, she will not find out until we are there. Part of the fun is going to be teasing and taunting her, and if I’m lucky she will put up a fight. A fight I look forward to winning.

Now eagerly wanting to wrap up our celebrations and jet off to France, I search the room for my bride, finding her sitting with her girlfriends. I head in her direction.

Tash and Jade’s expressions as I approach the table have me a little confused, Tash with a shit-eating grin, and Jade, appearing to contemplate whether or not to jump off a cliff. But it’s Carly’s expression of not so subtly indicating Alexis cease her words by performing a slash-of-the-throat gesture that has me concerned the most.