J. Cooper: Everlasting Sin

“No.” Her voice was louder. “I mean, do you love him?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Have you kissed him?” Eden sounded angry. “Have you kissed my brother?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“How did you know?” I grabbed her hand and sighed. “It’s not that I wanted to keep this a secret from you. It’s just that we never really had anything substantial to talk about.”

“So you guys hooked up that summer?” Eden was crying. “That last summer?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “I lost my virginity to him that summer.”

“What?” she screamed.

“Oh.” I made a face. “You didn’t know?”

“Luke didn’t tell me all that. He just said that you guys had made out and Clara knew and it made her really upset and he had to comfort her.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I sighed. “There were so many times I wanted to, but I didn’t know how.”

“That’s okay.” She sighed and then giggled. “Maybe it’s for the best. I would have wanted all the details, but it would have been too weird knowing it was my brother you were talking about.”

“I love him, you know.” I attempted to get out of bed. “I thought he died last night. I thought Channing broke his neck.”

“He tried.” Eden held out her hand and I grabbed ahold of it. “That guy is one sick motherfucker. Justin told me everything that happened. Everyone says that Hudson is lucky to be alive.”

“He’s going to be okay?” I felt tears running down my face.

“I don’t know what may be broken.” Eden’s face looked tired. “I didn’t stay long since I wanted to come back home and look after you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did. You’re my best friend, my sister. I couldn’t leave you alone for long. I had to make sure you were okay as well.”

“I love you.” I gave her a quick hug and she smiled.

“You’re lucky you’re not one hundred percent better yet or I would be slapping you for keeping such a big secret from me.”

“I promise you can slap me when the headache is gone.”

“Deal.” She laughed, and we walked to the living room. “Ready to go to the hospital? I can drive.”

“I’m still in my pajamas.” I looked down at myself and laughed. “But you know what, who cares. Let’s go.”

We drove to the hospital in silence. Both of us were too caught up in our thoughts to say anything else to each other. The humor of the morning was gone as we both realized the gravity of the situation. I was happy that Hudson was alive, but he was still unconscious and we didn’t know what damage he may have. Of course my mind instantly went to the worst options possible. What if he was brain-dead or paralyzed? What if he never woke up? I wasn’t even sure medically what unconscious meant? Did that mean he was in a coma? I didn’t bother asking Eden because I knew she wouldn’t have a clue either.

I sat back in the seat and cried silently. Once again this was all my fault. It seemed to be that I kept making decisions that were costing people their lives. I didn’t really understand why this had happened to me or to him. Though, I knew it wasn’t for me to understand. All I could do was pray and hope that he was going to be okay. I knew I wouldn’t leave him though. No matter what happened, I would still be there for him. I’d become his caregiver if I had to. Whatever he needed, I would give him. I still loved him more than life itself. I just hoped that the life he still had to live was one he would be happy with.

Eden pulled up at the front of the hospital and stopped. “You get out. I’m going to park the car.”

“Don’t you want to come in with me?” I frowned as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

“I’ll come in a bit.” She shook her head. “I’m sure you want some alone time with him.”

“Will they let me see him?” I gave her a look of thanks. “I’m not technically his family.”

“I put you down as his sister.” She grinned at me. “So yes, you can see him. Just don’t go kissing him or anything. I don’t want them thinking we’re some sort of weird family.”

I laughed then and smiled. “Thank you, Eden.”

“No worries.” She gave me a wide smile. “Now go and talk to my brother. If anyone can make him wake up, it’ll be you.”

I closed the door and walked into the hospital. It was clean, white, and clinical. I found the front desk and quickly walked up to one of the nurses.

“Excuse me. I’m looking for Hudson Blake, my brother.” I cringed inside as I said brother. It felt icky even thinking it.

“Hold on.” She held up a hand and typed into the computer in front of her. “Take the elevator up to the fourth floor and go to room J. You’ll find him in there.”

“Thank you.” I nodded and walked over to the elevator, my heart beating fast.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to see when I walked into the room, and that scared me. I stood in the elevator with a doctor and two nurses, and I looked down at the floor. I was starting to get a headache again, but I tried to ignore it. I got out on the fourth floor and looked around for a sign to point me in the right direction. I spied Luke standing with a petite black lady and walked over to them.

“Hi, Luke,” I said softly and curiously. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, and I could tell that he had been crying.

“Hi.” He smiled weakly. “How are you feeling?”

“Like there are a bunch of nails in my head, but I’m okay.”

“Good, good.” He nodded and looked away. “He’s still out.”

“I see.” My heart stopped for a second. “Any other updates?”

“No.” He shook his head and paused. “I hope he knows I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Luke.”

“It is.” He sighed, and I saw the bleakness in his eyes.

I looked at the lady standing next to him and smiled. “Hi, I’m Riley.”

“Aww, the infamous Riley.” She gave me a wide smile and shook my hand. “Nice to meet your acquaintance, Riley.”

“You know me?”

“I’ve heard of you, yes.”

“Oh.” I looked back at Luke, wondering what was going on, and he sighed.

“This is Clara’s mom.” His eyes darkened as he said her name. “She wanted to see how Hudson was doing, so I gave her a ride to the hospital.”

“As soon as Luke called me this morning, I knew I had to come if I could.” She nodded in agreement. “Especially since he had entered this fight for me.”

“You knew that?” My head started hurting again.

She nodded. “Luke told me.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys knew each other.”

“Luke started visiting me after Clara’s funeral.” She took ahold of his arm. “He’s become like a son to me.”

“I’m sorry about Clara,” I whispered, suddenly ashamed to be standing there as if nothing had happened. As if I hadn’t played such a large role in her demise.

“I don’t know why the Lord decided to take my child. She was my world, but I do not question the Lord’s decision.” Clara’s mom’s voice was passionate, and I looked up at her trying to study her face.

Was that how she really felt? I knew that I would be absolutely mad at the Lord if he decided to take Hudson away from me. I wouldn’t just accept it like that. I felt panicked inside as I thought about death and mortality. I couldn’t grasp how she could be okay with it all.

“Don’t get me wrong. I cried for years. I still cry, but my Clara had demons. Her life wasn’t easy.” She sighed. “I tried my best, but I couldn’t do everything. She had a drinking problem.” She looked at Luke then and squeezed his arm. “That was her problem, and I never addressed it. No one is to blame for her death but the alcohol.”