Lyra Parish - Weak for Him

But Luke didn't want to hurt me and was taking his time, only to be fucked in the end.

The memory of his skin, soft to the touch and our closeness made my body beg for more. I leaned my head back and groaned.

When I fully understood I would be selling my virginity, I never thought the act of giving it away could be sweet. I imagined being fucked and deflated, left to deal with myself, and the ugly side of sex. Broken.

But it was nothing like that. The act—if it would have continued—would have been something beautiful that I could have fantasized about as an old woman.

Luke found beauty inside of me when I thought it was lost. Above all, he saw me as I could never see myself. The pictures he painted reflected his feelings. He brought color to my world of darkness, and for that, I would be forever thankful.

My thoughts wandered back to Finn, and the lingerie store, and the way he pinned me against the door and told me I was easy to love. The lust in his eyes and the husk in his voice traveled along my body with his breath.

Finn.

The whole reason why I sat in the back yard of a million-dollar mansion, and why I met Luke in the first place.

Finn.

The man who made me the sex crazed kitten that I was today. The one who taught me about my inner desires that I never knew existed.

Finn.

The man that pissed me off beyond the furthest star in the sky, yes fucking light years' worth.

Until I lost my virginity, the burden of being pure and wholesome would follow me as a stalker in the night. A heavy price tag sat on my shoulders, and locked tightly around my neck almost choking me.

I was Little Red Riding Hood, and the men that desired my virginity were the big, bad wolves, licking their lips as I passed, hoping to catch a whiff of my purity while offering thousands of dollars for just one night to be inside of me. The dark thoughts sickened me, but I relished in them. Being a virgin gave me power, but I was ready to give it away. Willingly.

I closed my eyes tight, then opened them. The cool air stung, causing water to obstruct my vision. I tucked my feet under my body, hoping to warm my frozen toes.

The sound of the water in the hot tub as the waterfall changed different colors kept my attention. The steam rose from the top, and the heat called my name. A heated Jacuzzi… what a luxury.

I wanted to jump in, to let the warmth relax my muscles and mind. And with that thought, I stood and slipped off my clothes.

Modesty barely existed anymore, especially being in a house full of women. Not that anyone was home, but still. Gone was the shy, timid Jennifer, replaced with a person that made me feel like a stranger to myself. Was that even possible?

One toe after another, I dipped and slid into the rumbling water until my body became a void in its depths. I sighed as I allowed the jets to loosen me. Closing my eyes, I had hopes to control my emotions. To reel them in before they ran wild, to think of nothing, and relax.

What was Luke doing at the moment?

Painting another picture of our intimate evening together, or calling Finnley to request a refund?

I tried to tell myself I was just a night of sex, but I knew it was more than that.

The key to his heart.

The words, the meaning, the tattoo he wore on that sexy lower abdominal because of me. I wondered what the other ink represented, and if any others were for women.

Parched with thirst, I wanted nothing more than a bottle of water, but I didn't want to leave. My eyes felt heavy, and I could have fallen asleep. Relaxation hadn't come in weeks, and neither had I.

I forced myself awake and stared at the sparkling stars in the sky that reminded me of the women's gigantic rings at the parties I attended. Would I be fit to be a bride one day? Isn't that what every woman dreams about? Their fairy tale wedding with a beautiful dress, glass slippers, and the outrageously expensive jewelry to signify their everlasting love and devotion to their husband? No. I couldn't think about marriage. I wasn't marriage material.

Lori told me about a girl who used to work for Finn. She met the man of her dreams while on the job and was fired after the mention of love. Her and Herald ran away to Hawaii together and married immediately. Within two months, she was pregnant with their first child, and they lived happily ever after.

"It could happen, Jennifer," she whispered to me.

I smiled, and then walked away.

I knew it couldn't happen because the person I wanted at the time was unavailable.

Fucking Finnley Felton.

Just the thought of him angered me. I wanted to give my virginity away weeks ago; I wanted him to be the one, but Finnley refused me time after time. I got over him. I forced myself too. I wanted to move on to the client charades and dinners, stupid parties, and fancy clothes.

Without the virgin tag, I would no longer be looked at like I was something pure and innocent, but instead as a sex kitten. The one that currently stayed quietly in her cage.

I wanted out.

I wanted release.

I wanted to be taken .

But Finn.

The way he kissed me so sweetly on the lips that night in bed and how he did little things to make sure I was taken care of. The thought of that side of him took my breath away. Even the way his eyes said sorry the day he was handed the golden envelope with my destiny written inside. Every memory of him, conjured something deep inside that I constantly forced myself to suppress because I had to, because I had signed my rights away, because we were over it.

If I had known being an Elite would be hard, that the man that haunted my dreams really lived, and that I would not be able to love, I would have never done it. Love was such a powerful emotion, and something that I would never fully experience as long as I was Elite.

What had I truly gotten myself into?

"Fucking Finnley," I whispered with my eyes closed.

"You rang?"

My heart palpitated at the sound of his voice, and I wanted to pretend as if he were just a figment of my imagination. But he wasn't. I knew he wasn't. I couldn't turn around and look at him. Lividness filled me.

The water moved and I knew he had dipped himself inside of the hot tub; his toes touched the outside of my leg. When I opened my eyes, he wore that boyish grin on his face and I wanted to slap it off.

"Feisty, little thing, aren't you?"

The amusing tone in his voice angered me even more.

Silent treatment from here on out.

I closed my eyes, sunk deeper into the water, and leaned my head against the edge.

"Jennifer. Honestly. There are a few things that need to be known. Luke…"

I opened my eyes immediately and stared at Finn.

"Luke is really pissed at me, and I don't blame him. He threatened to sue me and come over and take you to his house like a caveman. I laughed at him and told him to try. But really? Who does he think he is? The look on his face when I walked in. Priceless."

"You are such an asshole"

"Oh. So you are talking? Fantastic."

I groaned.

"I thought it was cute that he really thought I would let him go through with taking your virginity. Did he? Did you? Really, Jennifer, you mustn't think I would let that happen?"

I had no words. His voice turned cold, animalistic.

"You are mine . I've told you time and time before. No one will take that away from me. No one, not even my stupid, little brother."

Realization set in.

The eyes. The accent. The way they treated one another.

"Holy fuck. How?

"Oh what? Little Luketon didn't tell you? We have the same mother." Finnley laughed. "Not surprising, really. He's always been so secretive. Always bested me in sports, in painting, even in trivial things like piano lessons and cards, but he never was smarter than me. Never. Some things never change, Jennifer."