Lyra Parish - Weak for Him

"But you would have fucked him," I said.

"Yeah. I would still do it right now if he came in here and asked me. But he told me no. Not sure what happened between the two of you last night, but after that, he's been different."

"We didn't have sex," I said in the same tone as her.

"Would you?" she asked.

"No. And I don't want you having sex with him, either. He's my boss, and you're my best friend, it would put me in an awkward situation. I don't want to deal with it."

The silence nagged on for minutes.

"Why don't you tell me the truth? You don't want me to fuck him because you want to."

" No . I do not ."

She scooted closer to me on the bed and grabbed my arm so tightly that it hurt.

"Tell me to my face. Look me in the eyes and say you don't."

" I do not want to fuck Finnley ."

Finn opened the door, and she whispered under her breath, just loudly enough for me to hear, "You're lying."

The next day, Abbie was on an early plane back to Texas. I didn't care. I needed time away from her to think and get over it. I would get over it, maybe.

After I fell back into my routine, Finn visited me in the night. He crawled into my bed and wrapped his arm around me as I turned around. I saw nothing but sadness in his eyes.

"Jennifer. We have to stop this. It's bad for business. Unfair to my clients. And the Girls are starting to talk. I can't have that."

"Then I'll quit."

"No. I can't have that, either. I'm not worth it, trust me. Sometimes I can be a son of a bitch. I treat women I'm in relationships with badly. I'm toxic. And I owe that to you. To stop this before it becomes too much or something too serious. It has to stop now."

"I understand."

He left me empty with no promises.

No insinuations. Nothing.

And he meant it had to stop.

I accepted it. I was too tired to continue.

I had to because Finnley started dating, and looked past me in a crowd of people as if I were nothing. I became invisible as the days turned into nights, and nights into days. I was stuck in a loop until I felt like my old self again. Then I was released to go back to work. Work.

I had someone to take my mind from it all. I would give myself to someone that made me happy and enjoyed spending every minute with me: Luke.

The dates were short and sweet. We took walks in the park, shared a few secrets, and joked about cowboys and beaches. A month had come and gone, and I was over Finn. Not seeing him helped.

Since I was on the job again, Jesse made sure to setup a meeting in Mr. Felton's office about my behavior, and I was given a verbal warning about being unprofessional at the dress shop.

I had forgotten all about the masturbation mishap.

Mr. Felton, in his three-piece suit, acted as a witness to my warning. It was the first time I had seen him in weeks. I refused to make eye contact and kept my eyes to the floor. Apologized and agreed it would never happen again. It couldn't and wouldn't. We stood to leave, and before I left, Mr. Felton called me back into the office. Once inside and alone, Mr. Felton burst into laughter.

Embarrassed, I put my hand over my eyes and waited for it to be over.

Note taken. Being the bitch she was, Jesse made him sign my warning, and lesson fucking learned. Not sure why I never expected it to be exposed, considering Jesse still rode my ass and hated me.

"I didn't know you had it in you. And the things you said to Sophia, was that her name? Hilarious."

"It was your fault, you know. You turned me into a sex-crazed monster," I said dryly.

"No, Ms. Downs, I just unlocked the door."

I didn't want to be there.

His smell, his office, everything about him was smothering.

Making me sick to my stomach and made my head reel. I couldn't be around him. I needed to leave.

We never talked about the day in the dress shop when he pinned me against the wall, or the night at the party when he made me come twice; those things had slid behind us in the dark.

His face went serious as I sat in front of him, and I finally made eye contact. He turned his head and walked to the window, staring out over the city streets. He couldn't look at me either.

"I've tried to forget that day many times. It was stupid of me."

I didn't want him to talk about it.

"It was inappropriate," he continued.

My body stiffened, and I couldn't respond. I didn't want to conjure up the feelings that I had tried to bury over the past few weeks. The ones that had almost vanished with time.

"I'm just glad it's behind us, and you've moved on," I said.

"I am, too. It was for the best. Nancy and I are having such a wonderful time. Did you see the pictures of Colorado?"

I had seen the pictures of their getaway weekend. Jesse passed them around the dinner table one night, hoping to get a rise out of me, I suspected, but didn't.

"Yeah. She's a beautiful woman. Just your type. Are you happy?" I asked him.

"Very. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Like I finally could settle down again and start a new life. It's nice, you know?"

"Yeah. That's great."

Finn continued to look out the window. "Oh look, Charlie just arrived to pick you up. Wouldn't want to keep him waiting. He's on a tight schedule today."

"Right." I grabbed my things and headed to the door.

"Oh. I almost forgot to tell you. Tonight's the night, my dear. You have a special date with Luketon. By his words, Luketon feels that you are both ready to consummate the deal since Paris was temporarily canceled. Are you ready? Do you feel it's time?"

His eyes gleamed, but the shine was no longer for me.

I knew that.

"Yeah. After the last few weeks we've spent together, I think it would be perfect."

Candles covered the small table and a violinist played in the background of Luke's dining room. Silver platters awaited us, and we sat.

"Stuffed shrimp and your favorite, macaroni," Luke said.

I giggled.

"Luke, you are so sophisticated with your fancy macaroni and cheese."

He laughed with me. "Oh, that macaroni is for you, m'lady."

"Wine?" The female servant asked. I nodded my head and thanked her as she poured my favorite cranberry wine.

"You ordered Texas wine. Yum." I smiled before taking a sip.

When we finished dinner, Luke stood and grabbed my hand. The lights lowered, and the violinist played a soft melody that was perfect for dancing. "Would you give me the honor?"

His hands found their way down my body to my waist, and I pulled him close to me. We danced a slow, sensual dance. Our bodies' scents mingled with one another, and I felt punch-drunk happy. His lips lingered on the softness of my neck and the heat of his breath left me wanting more. He spun me around, dipped me in front of the fireplace, and pulled me back up to him. My eyes looked up into his blues, and he smiled.

"Paris in two weeks," he said.

"You're joking, right? I thought it was cancelled."

"I would never joke about bringing you. We are going." He spun me around and back to him.

"You're going to love the lights, the music, the wine, the city. I was offered a project and it may take me a few weeks, and I want you to accompany me. I know I'll be dragging you back to the States before it's over."

"We'll be staying for weeks ?"

"Longer, if you want. I received the approval to take you this morning."

Excitement fluttered. I wanted to leave tomorrow.

"So you're a dancer?" I asked.

"I've taken a few lessons, and so have you."

"How did you know?" My lips traced the outside of his, and his breathing increased. Another few spins and a dip and I found myself back in his arms, smiling.