Tessa Teevan: Inflame

“Kale, this is kind of a big deal for her. Well, for both of you. She may need time and space, but she probably needs reassurance and support, too. And if she’s not answering her phone, well, you know where she lives.” Charlie slaps a hand on my back. “You two have a lot to figure out. But I’m rooting for you.”

“Yeah, I guess we do. Thanks, Charlie,” I agree, and I know she’s right.

Lucy may be trying to avoid me, but one thing she’ll have to learn is that I can be persistent as hell.

Lucy

THE SOUND of the doorbell wakes me from my sleep, and when I look at the clock, I see that I’ve been napping for at least two hours on my couch. Inhaling deeply, I can almost smell the pinewood scent of Kale’s cologne still lingering from when we had sex right here just two nights ago. Two freaking nights ago, when every single thing in my life changed with one plastic, digital stick. Charlie once told me that Kale looked like walking, talking sex on a stick. Now I’m wishing she’d kept her damn mouth shut.

Ever since I so rudely pushed Kale out my door the other day, I’ve done nothing but sleep, watch T.V. and work on lesson plans when I have the energy. The whole thinking and processing things? Yeah, so didn’t happen. All I wanted to do when Kale left was make lists, just like I do to plan out my school days, but then he left a package at my door—an extremely sweet gesture I hadn’t been expecting. My mind was reeling from the thoughtfulness, even though it shouldn’t have.

Regardless of the lack of label on our relationship, he’s always been attentive—in and out of bed. That’s probably the confusing part of our relationship. Behind closed doors, we act as if we’re together, but we’re not, and in public, we’re nothing but friends. In all reality, he’s become one of my best friends over the past year and a half, and we just so happen to sleep together. And I just so happen to be in deep lust with him. Secretly, of course. The night I met Kale Montgomery, I knew I was in trouble. I just didn’t know how much.

Not long after he’d left, I heard a quick knock. I opened my door and saw no one there, almost missing the package at my feet. When I opened it, my silly little heart swelled. I took the box to the kitchen and unpacked it. Smiling at the contents, which were perfect for my queasy stomach, I set the drinks in the refrigerator. I grabbed the bubble bath and settled into the most relaxing bath I’d had in a really long time, courtesy of Kale.

The doorbell rings again, tearing me out of my thoughts. I go to answer it, surprised that it took him two whole days before showing up again. I feel bad for having ignored his phones calls all weekend, but I just couldn’t figure out what to say.

“Hold your freaking horses. In seven months, I’ll be waddling and you’ll have to wait even longer for me to get to the door,” I huff, swinging it open wide, but instead of Kale, Charlie’s on the other side, frowning as she looks me up and down.

“Sorry, no sweet and sexy, dimpled playboy here. Just me, your annoying best friend, wondering why in the hell your baby daddy was the one to tell me you do, indeed, have a baby daddy,” Charlie says, narrowing her eyes at me.

I told her on Friday night that I thought I was expecting, but after Kale came over and we confirmed it, I didn’t know what to do or what to think. Plus, I figured Charlie and Knox were in post-coital bliss from Knox’s public declaration of love, and the last thing they needed was morning-sickness-ridden, hormonal, bum-looking me hanging out on their doorstep, lamenting the errors of my faulty-birth-control ways, all the while painting a nursery in my head.

I’m feeling extremely bipolar when it comes to this pregnancy. I wasn’t lying when I told Charlie I was secretly excited about the possibility of being pregnant. My own childhood wasn’t the greatest, to say the least, and I looked forward to being the best mother I could be, regardless of the situation. But the moment I realized I had to include Kale in the equation, I panicked and burrowed into my couch, ignoring my phone and mindlessly watching Top Chef marathons for hours all while trying, and failing, to make lesson plans.

“Lucy!” Charlie snaps in my face, getting my attention. She waves her hands up and down my body. “What is this? When was the last time you showered?”

Looking down, I cringe at myself. I’m in my most comfortable sweats—synonymous for my oldest and rattiest sweats, complete with holes and all. The thin cotton tank top I’m wearing is practically see-through. My usual blonde curls are in a messy bun on the top of my head. I don’t even want to know what my face looks like right now. Probably puffy, with swollen eyes and swollen cheeks. Just a sign of what’s to come in the months ahead.

Grabbing a light track jacket off the coat rack next to the door, I cover up and wave her in.

“I haven’t been feeling well, and I’m sure you can figure out why. Sorry, Charlie, but I wasn’t exactly expecting company.”

She follows me into the living room and sits down on the couch next to me, raising her eyebrows as she takes in the sight of the room. Normally, I hate clutter, but I’ve done little more than watch reality TV. My hormones have been running rampant. I wasn’t lying when I told Charlie that I was excited at the prospect of being a mom. It wasn’t until I actually saw the digital PREGANT glaring back at me that reality started to sink in. Then, the moment Kale held me close and told me that we’re in this together, it suddenly felt all too real.

“So it’s positive?” she asks, getting right to the point.

“Yep,” is all I manage to say, and I cringe when her look turns to pity. “Don’t, Charlie. Don’t look at me like you’re about to tell me you’re sorry. Like this is a bad thing. I don’t want to hear that right now.”

She leans over and grabs my hand. “I wasn’t going to say that at all, Luce. I’m happy for you, even if this wasn’t exactly planned. I’ll be here for you through all of it, okay?

Giving her a small smile, I squeeze her hand before releasing it. “I know, I know. And I appreciate it. It’s just a little overwhelming right now, you know? I knew it. In the back of my mind, with all the changes in my body and mood, I knew I was, but a part of me didn’t actually believe it. I’m just trying to process it all.”

“How’d Kale take it? When you told him?”

I groan and fall back on the couch, not wanting to get into this, but I know Charlie won’t relent.

“That bad?” she asks, cringing at my reaction, and I shake my head.

“No, the complete opposite,” I admit, and as I retell the story, I start feeling like a complete ass.

Kale was so sweet, gentle, considerate even, and I practically threw him out of my house and have been avoiding him ever since. The thing is, I thought he’d turn around and run the moment he saw my tear-filled eyes. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and let me know that everything was going to be fine. That confused me even more, so like a coward, I’ve been hiding out in my apartment ever since.

When I finish talking, I lean back against the couch, waiting for Charlie to reprimand me for my behavior. She’s always been the one with a calm head on her shoulders, while I’ve been more of the wild child, the loose cannon.

“All right, I know you want to yell at me, so let me have it,” I tell her, bracing myself.

“Lucy, I have no intention of yelling at you. But you have to admit, it’s pretty damn sweet the way he reacted. And the care package? What guy would think to do that?”

I shrug, not saying a word even though I know exactly what kind of guy would do that. What kind of guy did do that.