Tessa Teevan: Inflame

Lucy turned on her side, away from me, and I moved in behind her. When I wrapped an arm around her bare waist, my hand came up to rest on her flat stomach. Thoughts of how her belly would swell began to cross my mind, and surprisingly, excitement rushed through me.

There had been a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than a family and was thrilled at the idea of one, but that dream had been ripped away from me before I’d even begun to truly cherish the thought. Ever since then, I’d never let myself think about the prospects of my own family. That is, until now.

I pulled her into me, closer than usual when we slept in the same bed. I didn’t know why—if it was the sudden shift in our relationship or what—but I just wanted to be near her, to hold her, to comfort her even if I couldn’t find the words to do so.

Leaning in, I placed a kiss on her cheek before settling back in behind her.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Luce,” I told her, told myself, and prayed to God that I was right.

THE NEXT day, I woke up to a still sleeping Lucy in my arms, her legs tangled with mine. She must’ve turned in her sleep, and for once, I didn’t mind. We’d only actually done the whole cuddling thing once, so this was unusual for us. Taking a moment to look at her, I noticed how young and beautiful she looked while she was asleep, especially when she wasn’t all made up. Her dirty-blonde hair was falling around her shoulders, and a smile crossed my face when I noticed the freckles peppering her face. The bronze tan from the summer in the sun had barely faded.

When my eyes started traveling down her body, the memories of the night before came rushing back in. Pulling the sheet down, I took in the sight of her bare skin, covered only by a tiny bra and even tinier panties. Her breasts, small and perky, were rising and falling in rhythm with her breathing, and the thought of them growing had my morning wood getting even harder than usual. The idea of watching her body change as my child grew inside her was overwhelming. Before I could dwell on it, her eyes slowly opened and the green in them widened when she realized we were wrapped up in each other.

“Mornin’, babe,” I said, smiling at her as my hand rubbed small circles on her stomach. Her hand came up to mine and stilled my movements.

“Oh God,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut. Um, okay… Not exactly the response I’d been expecting.

“Lucy…” I started, but seconds later, she jumped out of bed, hand covering her mouth as she darted into the bathroom.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on, and even though the sight of puke makes me want to vomit myself, I got out of bed to make sure she was okay. She was hunched over the toilet when I walked in. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I sat down on the edge of the tub and replaced the hand she was using to hold her hair out of the way.

I’m not sure how long we spent in the bathroom, but eventually her stomach must’ve calmed down. That or she had nothing left to get rid of. Sitting up, she flushed and then looked at me, her face pale as she gave me a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Kale,” she said as she rose to her feet and went to brush her teeth.

Knowing I inadvertently helped contribute to the cause of what I was guessing was morning sickness, I shrugged it off. “Has it been like this the entire time?" I asked once she was finally done at the sink.

“Two weeks straight. I’m fine now though,” she replied as she walked back into her room.

As I followed her, I could almost feel the chill in the air as the vibe between us changed. Everything had always been so comfortable and easy with our friendship, relationship, whatever you want to call it. We never put a label on it. It’s fallen somewhere between friends with benefits and a little bit more than that, but neither of us had ever voiced that we wanted something exclusive. At least, not until last night when she told me she hadn’t been sleeping with anyone the whole time since I’d been back from Afghanistan.

The truth was, neither had I, and while the thought of her possibly being with someone else pissed me the fuck off, I wasn’t ready to make claims, and I didn’t think she was either. Now I’m wondering if I was wrong about that. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure I was, but last I knew, she was getting out of a relationship and wasn’t interested in another one. The way she was looking at me nervously when I walked back into her bedroom had me starting to worry. When I’d seen the test, I’d known that everything was about to change, but I guess I just hadn’t realized it would be this soon.

“Kale, I know we have a lot to discuss, and I really appreciate you being here and not running for the hills when you found out. But right now, I need some time alone to process all of this. To think about my options.”

Lucy’s words struck a chord, and I was reminded of the last time I’d heard someone say that very phrase to me. I could feel my face pale, and I hurried to think of what to say.

“Options? Can’t…can’t we discuss this together? After all, we made our baby together. We’re in this together, Lucy,” I emphasized, trying not to sound like I was panicking even though my heart was racing a hundred miles a second at the thought of what her options could be.

“Yes, of course. I just mean that I need time to think. That’s all. I won’t make any decisions without consulting you first. I promise,” she replied quickly before leading me to the living room, apparently desperate to get me out of her apartment. Placing her hand on my arm, she practically pushed me towards the couch, where the rest of my clothes were. “I just need time, Kale.”

Knowing it wasn’t going to go anywhere right then, I nodded and went about getting dressed. Lucy followed me to the door and went to give me an awkward side hug, but I wouldn’t let her. Instead, I turned into it and tightly wrapped my arms around her.

“Lucy Dawson, I promise you. We’re in this together, no matter what. You’re my best friend and so much more. Don’t forget it.”

I could feel her nodding against my chest, and when she pulled away, she gave me a wistful smile. “You’re mine, too. I just need some time.” Before I could respond, she gave me a small wave then closed the door in my face.

A short while later, I found myself back at her doorstep, but I didn’t let her know I was there. I had gone to the store and made a care package of sorts with crackers, Sprite, Gatorade, and her favorite vanilla almond bubble bath. If she wouldn’t let me be with her right now, then I felt like it was the least I could do. I set the box at her front door, knocked twice, and quickly walked away before she could see me.

All of a sudden, I’m pulled from my thoughts as a sharp pain bursts through me when a hard kick lands on my stomach. Before I can catch my bearings, Charlie takes my legs out, and she’s soon straddling me on the mat.

Grinning down at me, she gives a small cheer. “You almost had me a minute ago, Montgomery. Where’d you go?” she asks, looking at me suspiciously. Thoughts of Lucy cross my mind and I shake my head, not knowing what, if anything, Lucy has told her.

“Sorry, Davenport. I’ve just got a lot of things on my mind right now.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh my God. You know?” A hand comes up to clamp over her mouth and she gets up quickly. “Shit. My big freaking mouth. Umm, forget it, Kale.”

I watch as she paces the ring, and I get up, walking towards her. My hands grip her shoulders, stilling her movements.

“It’s fine, Charlie. I know. It’s just that she’s been avoiding me ever since.” I launch into a quick retelling of the night and what happened after, when Lucy practically shoved me out of her place. “She hasn’t talked to me since. She won’t answer my calls or my texts. Hell, I even tried Facebook messaging her, and she didn’t reply. And I know she saw it. I’m just worried about her,” I tell her sincerely, and her face softens at my words.