Tara Sivec: Shame on Him

Starting up my car, I quickly back out of my parking space and peel out of the lot. Dallas won’t have to worry about “babysitting” me for much longer. I just solved this case and he can kiss my ass when he finds out I did it on my own.

Pulling into Stephanie Covington’s driveway, I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves as I walk up to her front door and ring the bell.

The door is swung open moments later and my mouth drops open in shock. Standing in front of me isn’t Stephanie, but a very butch-looking woman. She’s a few inches taller than me, with short, spiky blond hair and enough muscles to make a bodybuilder jealous. That isn’t what has me momentarily speechless, though. The black eye and busted lip she’s currently sporting does.

“Aw, shit,” she mutters.

Before I can react, she grabs on to my arm and hauls me into the house, slamming the door closed behind her.

She drags me into the living room and pushes me onto the couch.

“You! You’re the one who attacked me last night. Who the hell are you?” I ask, standing back up from the couch.

She stalks over to me and places her hands on my chest, shoving me down again.

“Sit there and shut up. I need to think,” she tells me angrily.

“YOU need to think? Screw you! Are you covering for Stephanie? Did she hire you to come to my house because she killed her husband and she knows I’m onto her?” I fire at her.

“Sweetie, your tea’s getting cold.”

I look up as Stephanie walks into the room, stopping in her tracks when she sees me there. “Oh, dear.”

Standing up from the couch again, I shoot the crazy, manhandling woman a dirty look before she can shove me back down.

“Mel, what did you do?” Stephanie asks, turning to the woman currently glaring at me.

“She attacked me in my home last night. And you killed your ex-husband, so you’re both going to jail,” I tell her.

“What?! I didn’t kill Richard! What are you talking about? Mel, what is she talking about?” Stephanie asks, turning to this Mel person.

“Oh, cut the bullshit, Stephanie. The medical examiner’s report is in. They found traces of taheebo bark all over Richard’s shirt the day he was killed. If I remember correctly, you drink taheebo tea, don’t you?”

Stephanie glances down at the cup of tea in her hand and quickly sets it down on an end table. She looks back and forth between Mel and me nervously.

“Oh, Mel, tell me you didn’t?” Stephanie whispers.

Mel sighs and walks over to Stephanie, placing her hands on her shoulders.

“Baby, I had to do something. He was gonna shut down my business and tell everyone about us. I couldn’t let that happen.”

What the hell is going on right now?

I watch in strange fascination as the two of them embrace. Stephanie pulls away first and looks over at me.

“Lori, this is my herbalist and . . . lover, Melinda. She really didn’t mean to do this. Can’t we just pretend like it never happened? I mean, you’re just a reporter. You could say I wouldn’t comment or something, can’t you?” she begs.

“I’m not a reporter and my name’s not Lori Wagner. It’s Lorelei Warner and I’m a private investigator. I was hired to solve Richard’s murder,” I explain.

Well, technically I was only hired to deliver a subpoena to Richard for their divorce. She doesn’t need to know I coerced my way into solving Richard’s murder with a man I thought I was falling in love with and thinks I’m worthless when it comes to this job. Those are just silly little details when I’m standing in front of a murderer and her accomplice.

“What? You lied to me? How DARE you!” Stephanie shouts. “I can’t believe this. I even had Mel put together some herbs for you and run your astrology chart. Your third house is in Neptune, by the way, which means your rational mind is going to try and deceive you in your pursuit of the truth in your heart.”

I have no idea what she’s blathering on about. Ignoring her, I reach into my back pocket for my cell phone to call the police. As soon as I pull it out, Melinda smacks it out of my hand.

“What the hell are you doing?” I scream at her, moving to pick up my phone.

As I bend down, I hear the click of a bullet being loaded into the chamber of a gun. I pause, and lift my head slowly to see Melinda aiming a gun at my face.

“Melinda! Put that away! You know how I hate guns. They completely mess with my aura. I feel a headache coming on,” Stephanie complains.

“Yes, listen to Stephanie. How about you put the gun away and we can talk?” I tell her, trying not to freak out that there is a loaded gun aimed right at me.

“What’s there to talk about? I love Stephanie and she loves me,” Melinda says with a shrug. “Her loser of an ex-husband found out about us and was gonna tell everyone. It didn’t matter that he only married her so no one would know he was gay and that the affair he was having was with another dude, his secretary, no less. He said if I didn’t leave town for good, he’d have my business shut down. I didn’t want Stephanie’s reputation ruined, and without my business we wouldn’t have any money. So I went over there one day and got rid of the asshole.”

Well, that explains Stephanie’s anger when she walked in on Richard having sex with his secretary. I suddenly feel her pain.

Stephanie covers her heart with her hand. “Melinda, I can’t believe you did this.”

Melinda turns to look at her and nods. “I might as well tell you I killed Andrew Jameson too. Richard told me right before I shot him that Andrew knew all about us. He confided in Andrew back when they were still friends, before Richard fired him. I’d been keeping an eye on him for a few days and it seemed like he was too busy drinking to care. But then this one showed up at his house and I knew he would tell her,” Melinda says angrily, pointing in my direction. “You probably hate me now, huh?”

Stephanie shakes her head back and forth frantically before running up to Melinda and throwing her arms around her. “I could never hate you! That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

With the gun still aimed at me, Melinda wraps one arm around Stephanie’s waist and plants a passionate kiss on her lips.

“If you knew about Richard, what was the point of telling everyone he had a porn addiction? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to tell everyone he was gay?” I ask Stephanie.

She pulls away from Melinda and shrugs. “I was afraid. I figured if people knew about him, it would only be a matter of time before they found out about me and Mel. I wasn’t ready for the world to share our love. He never had a porn addiction. I just made that up so people wouldn’t find out the truth.”

Right then, the front door bursts open and Dallas charges in with his gun drawn. “Drop the weapon! NOW!”

As happy as I am to see someone else here to help me, I’m downright pissed off that it’s Dallas.

Melanie turns her gun away from me and aims it at Dallas. “I’m not putting my gun down. YOU put your gun down.”

Dallas takes a few careful steps into the house, glancing over at me. “You okay, baby?”

I scoff at him and roll my eyes. “Don’t call me ‘baby.’ And while you’re at it, fuck off.”

He stares at me in shock and I turn away from him. Melinda shoves her gun into my ribs. I wince at the pain.

“Put your gun down or I shoot her,” Melinda tells Dallas.

He puts his free hand in the air as he bends down slowly and places his gun on the floor by his feet. “I’m putting my gun down. You don’t need to shoot anyone.”