Kelly Jamieson: Breakaway

When he returned, Brianne was sitting on her couch, leaning back, arms folded across her chest, her full lips even fuller in a small pout.

“So what did you come to talk about?” she asked. “Other than my smoking and eating habits.”

“I will not let you endanger our child by putting nicotine in your body when you’re pregnant,” he said through clenched teeth. “You’re going to quit, Brianne, and I don’t care if you put on fifty pounds in the next week. I don’t care about your goddamn contracts. I’m here to help financially, I’ll make sure you’re okay, but you are not going to smoke.”

She stared at him, hands on hips. Her bottom lip trembled. “Financially?” she asked. “That’s what this is about?”

He closed his eyes. What did she expect from him?

“Well, I guess that’s one more good thing about sleeping with a jock. Not much intellectual stimulation, but you’ve got a great body and at least you’ve got lots of money.”

His stomach bottomed out at her careless words and he stared at her. What the fuck did she just say? She did not just call him a stupid jock. His head whirled.

Stupid. He was not stupid. Remi’d told him that.

But he wasn’t irresponsible, either. Not anymore.

“I wanted to talk about how we’re going to do this,” he said heavily, sitting down in a chair across from her. “I’m the father of this baby and I have a responsibility to the baby and I want to do the right thing.”

Jasmine woke Remi up Sunday morning, later than she should have slept, but once again her night had been restless and agitated, with bad dreams and waking up sweaty and shaky. Her head throbbed, her eyes felt gritty from crying and her stomach ached.

“I can’t believe you’re still in bed,” Jasmine said. “But I saw the for sale sign outside! So you’re going to sell the house, that’s fantastic!”

“Yeah.” Fanbloodytastic. Remi yawned and walked to the kitchen to make some coffee, shuffling in her flannel pants and bare feet. “The realtor seems pretty optimistic that it will sell quickly.”

“That’s so great!” Jasmine clasped her hands in front of her. “I can’t wait to get the money. Ethan and I are going to look at some open houses this afternoon.”

“Maybe you should just hold off until we’ve actually sold it. It will take a while before things go through.” She didn’t even know how that all worked. She’d never bought or sold a house before.

Jasmine just waved a hand. “We can look. This is so great. And you can put conditions on the sale to make it go through quickly.”

Remi leaned against the counter, arms folded across her chest, and looked at Jasmine. “And what about me?” she inquired quietly. “Where do you think I’m going to go if we get things ‘through quickly’?”

Jasmine frowned. “I don’t know.”

“You know, I wish once in a while you’d think of someone other than yourself.”

Jasmine’s brows flew up and a hurt expression creased her forehead. The coffeemaker sputtered and hissed behind Remi on the counter. “Well. That’s kind of mean.”

At first, Remi’d been proud of herself for speaking her mind, but then regret filled her at her hasty words. She rubbed the back of her neck and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry, Jas. But I feel like I’m being pushed to sell this house without thinking it through.”

“But, Remi…we talked about it. It’s our house. All three of us. You’re the one who’s being selfish, wanting to keep the house just so you have somewhere to live. It’s not all about you either, you know.”

Remi jerked as if she’d been physically struck. She straightened slowly, let her arms fall to her sides, her fingers curled into her palms.

Jasmine looked at her and must have seen the look on her face. “Well, it’s true,” she said with a hint of defensiveness. “We’re entitled to our third of the value.”

“Yes, you are. I’m not disagreeing with you about that. I’m just pointing out that this all happened really fast and I haven’t even had a chance to find another place.”

“Well.” Jasmine shook her head. “It’s back to you again. All about you. God, Rem. You want to keep the house because you’re hoping that I’ll come running back here when things don’t work out with Ethan. You don’t want things to work out with Ethan, because you don’t want to live here all alone. And you want Kyle to come home every summer so you won’t be alone.”

Remi’s mouth opened, then closed. She stared at her sister. Her head throbbed and she put a hand up to her temple. “That’s not true,” she whispered. Was it?

“You should be happy for me and Ethan,” Jasmine continued. “And Kyle has his own life to live.”

Remi shook her head slowly. “I know that. I just…want to be here for you. If you need me.” That was all she’d ever wanted. It was so important to her. But…

“Well, we don’t need you.”

Jasmine’s words were like a knife to the heart and Remi almost staggered back at the pain. No words would come. She didn’t know what to say.

“I ask you to do one thing for me!” Jasmine went on. “And you—”

“One thing!” Remi stared at her sister in amazement. Did she really not remember all the things Remi had done for her over the years? Hurt rose inside her, a fierce pressure in her head. She wanted to point out that she’d supported Kyle and Jasmine after mom and dad had died. She’d made the money that paid the bills and bought the groceries. She’d paid Jasmine’s college tuition and now Kyle’s. She’d spent hours of her life driving them both around to lessons and activities and appointments, not even having time for a real relationship, as Darryl had pointed out to her when he’d given her the choice between him and her family.

But she said none of that. Because it didn’t really matter.

She’d done it because she loved them, because it was the only thing to do.

Darryl hadn’t been the right guy for her anyway. At the time it had hurt like hell, but that now seemed like nothing. Now…a violent rush of pain thinking about Jason almost had her doubling over. Dense silence filled the kitchen while she struggled for control, swallowing through a tight throat so she could speak. She turned away from Jasmine and blinked her stinging eyes. She couldn’t blame her brother and sister for what had happened with Jason, much as she wanted to feel the victim, the martyr at that moment. That was a whole other issue.

No, Darryl hadn’t been the right man for her. She’d been devastated when he’d made her choose, telling her she was boring and had no time for him, but she knew now, after what she’d felt for Jason, that she would never have ended up with Darryl anyway. Her feelings for him had been like flat water compared to her bright and sparkling champagne feelings for Jason.

Jase. Oh Jase. It so wasn’t fair this happened to her again, only this time….

“Remi. Are you okay?” Jasmine’s voice behind her sounded hesitant, confused.

“I’m okay.” She swiped at her wet cheeks. She certainly didn’t want to talk about Jason. “It’s no big deal.” She forced a smile and turned around. She’d done those things for her brother and sister because she loved them, not because she expected anything in return. They were fighting about stuff that really didn’t matter.

And Jasmine was right. Painfully, eye-openingly right. The house was just a place to live. What she was really struggling with was the fact that Kyle and Jasmine didn’t need her like they used to. Her chest ached with the realization, but she had to face the fact that they were adults. Like Jason had pointed out. God, he’d been right too. They were adults and she needed to let go.