Kelly Jamieson: Love Me

The bed barely dipped beneath his weight, the covers barely moved. Apparently, Gavin was trying to get into bed without her knowing. The room was dark and Melina peeked at the glowing red numbers on the clock beside the bed—twelve-thirty.

How could he work that late? Again!

She lay there as still as she could, pretending to sleep, but her stomach knotted with anxiety. With all the stuff that had been going on lately, she really did wonder if he was cheating on her.

She felt Gavin tug gently on the duvet, shift a little, then go still. She tried to breathe evenly in the quiet darkness. Then she became aware of a slight, rhythmic movement of the bed, Gavin laying beside her with his back to her. She strained her ears, staying perfectly still.

He was masturbating !

She opened her eyes wide in the dark, then closed them.

Well, at least that was a good sign he probably hadn’t just come from having sex with another woman.

She rolled toward him and put her hand on his arm under the covers. “I’m right here,” she whispered.

He started and hissed into the darkness. “Jesus Christ, Melina, you scared the crap out of me.”

She slid her hand down his arm, over the taut muscles and hair-roughened skin, and covered his hand with her own on his cock.

“You don’t need to do that,” she whispered. “I’m right here.”

He let out a long breath. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“We haven’t had sex in five days ,” she said, moving closer. His hand had stopped moving but still fisted his hard dick.

“I know,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just…work…”

“I know,” she said, on a sigh of her own. “But I need you…and you obviously need it too…”

“I need stress relief,” he answered.

Melina paused. “Stress relief?” She rolled away from him onto her back, stared up at the ceiling in the dark. “You need stress relief?” He didn’t say he needed her , didn’t say he loved her, didn’t even say he was horny, for God’s sake.

“Shit, Melina,” he groaned. “I didn’t mean…Christ. I so do not need this right now.”

“Apparently,” she retorted and gave him her back. She buried her face in her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut against stinging tears. “Never mind. Go ahead, jerk off. I don’t care.”

But he didn’t. He was silent as she struggled to hold off tears, swallowing painfully. Then she heard his breathing deepen and slow. God, he was asleep ! How could he go to sleep in the middle of a fight?

Now the tears did escape, soaking her pillow as she wept silently. Damn. Things were not getting better between them, things were getting worse.

Last week’s attempt to rekindle Gavin’s lust had resulted in humiliation. She’d spent a fortune on sexy lingerie—a white lace bustier and matching thong trimmed with pink ribbons—something she knew Gavin would like (he’d once told her that he wasn’t into black or any kind of slutty, tough-chick underwear; his tastes ran to feminine, sweet styles. Which suited Melina perfectly because she was definitely a girly girl). She’d waited all evening for him in her tempting lace and satin, past eight o’clock when he said he’d be home, all the way until nearly eleven when he finally showed up. Working late, of course.

Sure, he’d been interested when he’d seen her dressed in her sexy new things, admiring how her full breasts almost spilled over the cups of the bustier, and they’d started to make love. After removing the thong, he’d gone down on her and she’d been thrilled, loving his talented tongue that knew just how to please her. She’d been lost in the pleasure, in no rush to orgasm, and then…he’d fallen asleep.

In the middle of oral sex.

He’d woken right up, but his tongue had slowed, his breathing reduced, and then he’d stopped entirely and she’d had to grab his hair to wake him up. He started right back at it, but that had definitely been a mood-killer.

Gavin had apologized all over the place while she’d turned over, telling him to go to sleep since he obviously was so tired.

God, talk about humiliating.

More tears flowed. She loved Gavin so much. They’d only been living together for six months, had dated for a year before that. For her, this was it , and she thought it was for him, too. She remembered the excitement of moving in with him, mingling their belongings, the intimacy of sharing a home, the way they couldn’t get enough of each other.

She knew that sex every night couldn’t go on forever, of course she did, but she hadn’t expected things to die off so soon…

Gavin had been using work as an excuse the last few weeks. This project he was working on was big and so important to him. According to him, this could make his career at Quantum Energy. It was the first project he’d ever managed and it was a critical project for the company. The deadline was approaching fast and lately he’d been killing himself to make sure that they came in on time, on budget, making good on their deliverables.

She used a corner of her pillowcase to wipe her cheeks, the tears having run their course. But a heavy sadness filled her as she, too, fell into sleep.

“We need to talk, Gavin,” she told him the next morning as she poured coffee into two cups. She handed one to him.

“Sure,” he said. “Go ahead.”

“Not now,” she replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Tonight. Let’s go out for a nice dinner and we can talk about…stuff.”

“We can’t go out for dinner. Remember? Duncan and Kylie are having their housewarming party tonight.”

“Oh yeah.” Damn. She’d forgotten about that. Friday night and she’d been hoping Gavin would finish work at a decent hour and they could talk about what was going on with them. “What time do we have to be there?”

“Seven.”

“That’s early for a party.”

“I know,” he shrugged. “But I said I’d help Duncan put his new barbecue together.”

Melina nodded. Duncan was Gavin’s best bud, and his wife, Kylie, had become a good friend of hers, too. Anyone else, and she’d try to blow off the party, but they couldn’t blow off their best friends.

“Okay,” she sighed. Gavin probably didn’t want to talk about stuff anyway. He wasn’t a guy who liked talking about “feelings and crap”, as he would say. Maybe tomorrow—surely he wouldn’t have to work another Saturday?

“We can’t stay too late, though,” he told her, snatching a piece of toast from the toaster. He grabbed a knife and smeared peanut butter over it. “I have to go in to work tomorrow.”

“Not again!” She stared at him.

“Sorry, sweet stuff.” He glanced at her. “It’s almost done…I swear. I won’t work any more weekends once this project is done.”

She nodded. Sure. If only she didn’t have this feeling that the problem wasn’t the project, it was their relationship, crumbling around them like a sandcastle on the beach with the tide coming in. She suspected Gavin was falling out of love with her and when this project was done, something else would serve as his excuse not to spend time with her.

He ate the toast in three big bites, washed it down with coffee and dropped the mug into the sink. “Gotta go.” He gave her a quick kiss on the mouth. “Big meeting first thing.”

“Bye.” She watched him grab his computer and briefcase—why did he even bother bringing those things home when he got home after midnight and left before eight the next morning?—and rush out of their apartment.