Джорджетт Хейер - Cotillion

“You will allow me to know you better than you know yourself, dear Kitty,” responded Hugh, with great firmness. “Most naturally, you desire to become better acquainted with the world. You would like to visit the Metropolis, I daresay, and so you shall! You yearn to taste the pleasures enjoyed by those persons who constitute what is known as the ton . It is only proper that you should do so. I venture to prophesy that in a very short space of time you would find many of these pleasures hollow cheats. But do not imagine that if you were to bestow your hand upon me in marriage you would find me opposed to the occasional gratification of your wish for more gaiety than is to be found in a country parish! I am no enemy to the innocent recreation of dancing; I have frequently derived no small enjoyment from a visit to the playhouse; and while I must always hold gaming in abhorrence I am not so bigoted that I cannot play a tolerable game of whist, or quadrille, or bear my part in a private loo-party.”

“Hugh,” interrupted Kitty, “George must have constrained you to make me this offer!”

“I assure you, upon my honour, it is not so!”

“You don’t wish me to be your wife! You—you don’t love me!” she said, in a suffocating voice, and with tears starting to her eyes.

He replied stiffly: “My regard for you is most sincere. Since I was inducted into a parish, not so far distant as to make it impossible for me frequently to visit my great-uncle, I have had ample opportunity of observing you, and to my regard has been added respect. I am persuaded that there is nothing in your character which could preclude your becoming a most eligible wife to any man in orders.”

She gazed up at him in astonishment. “I?” she exclaimed. “When you have been for ever scolding me for levity, and frowning every time I don’t mind my tongue to your liking, and telling me I ought not to be discontented with my lot? How can you talk so?”

He possessed himself of her hand, saying, with a smile: “These are the faults of youth, Kitty. I own, I have tried to guide you: it was never my intention to scold !”

“If you are not constrained by George, it must be by Uncle Matthew!” she declared, snatching her hand away.

“Yes, in some sort,” he replied. “It is hard for you to understand the motives—”

“No, I assure you!”

“Yes,” he said steadily. “You must know, Kitty—you must realize, however painful it may be—that George has spoken only the truth. Your whole dependance is upon my uncle; were he to die, leaving you unwed, unbetrothed to one of us, your situation must be desperate indeed. I hesitate to wound you, but I must tell you that, the world being what it is, a respectable marriage is hard to achieve for a dowerless and orphaned female. What could you do to maintain yourself, if left alone upon the world? George has spoken of such a position as that held by Miss Fishguard, but surely without reflection! Miss Fishguard is an excellent woman, but she is lacking in such accomplishments as a governess, seeking employment in the first circles, is today expected to impart to her pupils. Her knowledge is not profound; her performance upon the pianoforte is not superior; she has no skill with Water Colours; little mastery over the French tongue; none at all over the Italian.”

She turned her face away, a blush of mortification spreading over her cheeks. “You mean that I am lacking in accomplishments.”

“Since my uncle neglected to provide masters to supply the deficiencies of your education, it must necessarily be so,” he replied calmly. “You know, my dear Kitty, how often I have recommended you to pursue your studies, even though you have left the schoolroom.”

“Yes,” acknowledged Kitty, without enthusiasm.

“It would afford me much pleasure to be able to direct your studies, and to read with you,” he said. “I believe I may say that I am accounted a good scholar, and I am very sure that to guide the taste and to enlarge the knowledge of so intelligent a pupil as you, dear cousin, must be an agreeable task.”

Lord Biddenden, who had been listening to his brother’s measured speeches in growing disapprobation, could no longer contain his impatience. “Well, really, Hugh!” he ejaculated. “A fine offer to be making the poor girl, I must say! Enough to set her against marriage with you from the outset!”

“Kitty understands me,” Hugh said, rather haughtily.

“Well, yes, I think I do,” said Kitty. “And George is perfectly right! I should dislike excessively to be turned into a scholar, and I cannot feel, Hugh, that I am at all the kind of girl you should marry. And now I come to think of it, I daresay there is one way in which I could earn my bread! I could seek a post as housekeeper. That is something in which I need no instruction. I have had the management of this house ever since I was sixteen, and able to relieve poor Fish of duties for which she is quite unsuited! I expect anyone would be very happy to employ me, too, because if there is one thing I know all about it is the strictest economy!”

“Now, Kitty, don’t talk nonsense!” begged Lord Biddenden testily.

The Rector made a silencing gesture with one shapely hand. “If your youth, Kitty, did not render you ineligible for such a post, your birth and your breeding most assuredly do. I hardly think, moreover, that you would find it congenial.”

“No, I shouldn’t,” she said frankly. “But I shouldn’t find it congenial to be married to you either, Hugh.”

“There! What did I tell you?” interpolated Biddenden.

“I am sorry,” Hugh said, grave but kind. “For my part, I should count myself happy to be able to call you my wife.”

“Well, it is very obliging of you to say so,” retorted Kitty, “but if you are speaking the truth I cannot conceive why you should never have given me the least suspicion of it until today!”

It was his turn to redden, but he did not allow his eyes to waver from hers, and he replied with scarcely a moment’s hesitation: “The thought, however, has frequently been in my mind. I believe it is not in my nature to fall in love , as the common phrase has it, but I have long felt for you the sincerest esteem and affection. You are young: you have not yet reached your twentieth birthday; I believed that the time to declare myself was not yet. I have sometimes suspected, too, that you had a partiality for another member of the family decided enough to make it useless for me to address you. It was in the expectation of finding all three of my cousins gathered here that I came to Arnside. I have found only Dolphinton, and in these circumstances I do not hesitate to beg you, Kitty, to accept of my hand in marriage, and to believe that at Garsfield Rectory you may be sure of a safe and an honourable asylum.”

“It is not, then, for the sake of Uncle Matthew’s fortune that you have offered for me, but from chivalry towards a penniless creature whom you suppose to have been rejected by—by everyone else?” demanded Kitty breathlessly. “I—I would rather marry Dolph !”

At these alarming words, Lord Dolphinton, who had for some time been sucking the hilt of a paper-knife, which he had found conveniently to hand, sat up with a jerk, and dropped the knife from his suddenly nerveless fingers. “Eh?” he uttered. “But—Said you wouldn’t! Remember it distinctly! Said I might be comfortable again!”

“And so you may, for I meant it!” said Kitty fiercely. “There is no one for whom I have the least partiality, and I don’t wish to marry anyone in your odious family! I think Hugh is a humbug, and Claud has a cruel nature, and Dolph and Freddy are just stupid , and as for Jack I am truly thankful that he was not coxcomb enough to come here, because I dislike him more than all the rest of you together! Goodnight!”