Thinking Horndog - The Elegant Solution

Toby looked; the bottoms didn’t cover her ass cheeks totally, although the coverage was there for most of the expanse — and the lack was deliberate, enforced by the cut. "Well, Ma, Lon’s mama has cellulite, too, and it doesn’t seem to interfere with what she’s doing…" Toby checked out the top, too, and nodded approval. The tube-top design of the top presented a continuous width — at least visually — across the front, sides, and back — and it was wide enough to avoid the appearance of bra rolls  — those impressions made and enforced by tight brassieres at the armpits and shoulder blades of husky women. The outfit looked good; Toby grinned to himself, wondering how long it was going to take Lon to talk Ma out of that top… "Is it comfortable?" he asked.

"Pretty much," Beth replied. The top squashed her breasts a bit, but it presented them well and she’d put up with worse…

"Well it looks a LOT better that your usual get-up!" Toby approved.

"Thank you, Sweetheart!" Beth beamed and swayed off. Maybe Lon WOULD like it…

Toby settled back to watch TV, but something bothered him — why had Ma suddenly gone off and bought another swimsuit? She never wore the others, it seemed like … And why had she gotten so brave about it?

Rick didn’t get to see his mother’s purchase. The baby blue bikini that Jean picked out featured a thong and a top that made the white bikini look positively staid — pastie-sized triangles connected by spaghetti-width strings. Jean tried it on in the store, getting vocal approval from Candace, and again in her bedroom — but that second time she became embarrassed and self-doubt crept in without Candace’s support, so no one else saw it…

Candace didn’t need to fool with getting new bikinis — her man-catching tools were up to date. What she DID do was follow through on her vow to brace Lon about birth control… "Lon? Got a minute, Hon?"

"Mama?" Lon turned away from his gaming console.

"Look, now that it’s summer, I’m sure you’re out hunting…" Candace began.

"Hunting?"

"Don’t play dumb, Son. Dear hunting. Getting your spear wet. You know what I mean!" Candace gave her son the eye…

"Yeah, okay…" Lon looked uncomfortable.

"Don’t worry — I’m not going to do anything stupid like advise you not to," Candace grinned. "I’m sure anyone you catch will be pleased with the result. But I want to warn you about birth control."

Lon grimaced. "C’mon, Mama!" He wasn’t stupid…

"Look, Hon, I know you’re up to speed, but Rick and Toby might not be, for instance," Candace admonished. "And the women you chase down might not be, either. Believe it or not, foolishness about birth control isn’t limited to girls your age! Older women may stop using it — especially if they’ve been out of circulation for a while and it looks to them like they’re not going to be getting any. The Pill changes your body chemistry — if they don’t seem to need it, most doctors will tell their patients to go off it. I’d hate to tell you how many women my age get caught short because some whirlwind romance caught them flat-footed six months after they went off the Pill assuming that they were done having sex forever…"

Lon’s imagination produced this comical vision of Toby and Jean Flanders walking down the street, Jean in her white bikini, rubbing a basketball-sized belly … He snorted laughter.

"What?" Candace glared at her son — wasn’t he taking this seriously?

"I just had this image of Toby as a dad — never mind…" Lon waved it away.

"Um," Candace’s imagination produced an almost identical image. "Well, warn them, will you? I’d hate to see that — you guys have such bright futures…"

"You got it, Mama! I’ll pass the word…" Grinning, Lon went back to his gaming. For the record, he did pass the word, Wednesday morning — and they all piled into his car and hit the drug store for rubbers, lube, and anything else that looked sensible.

Candace couldn’t see Jean getting smart anytime soon — she was too far into denial. So she put a flea in Beth’s ear on Wednesday morning, and Beth went down to the ER to see a doctor friend for a prescription for morning-after contraception. While Beth might be a total romantic about the act itself, she’d seen the results too many times…

As for herself, Candace had no illusions; if Rick could bring himself to come on to her, she was going to roll right over and open her legs! She’d been fantasizing about Rick for some time; those brown curly locks and his bright, intelligent green eyes … In fact, she’d been deliberately chasing slightly older models that looked like Rick to add to the fantasy. Lon’s first round comment hadn’t slid right by when Jean mentioned it, either; if she could bed Toby, too, so much the better! If Jean was going to be stupid, maybe she’d have to double up…

Wednesday was an exercise in misery and anticipation. The boys went out early on the contraceptive run, then sat around in puddles of testosterone, waiting and war gaming the next day’s activities. None of them had come up with any stroke of genius designed to lull older women out of their clothing — which was predictable, really — but it wasn’t for lack of deep thought…

Beth was back and forth all day between wouldn’t it be nice? and this is all just some awful joke designed to embarrass me to death! What she would do if Lon approached her wasn’t clear — but what she WANTED to do was VERY clear! Lon was a young Adonis — it was unlikely that he could actually work up any sexual interest in her at all — she knew what she looked like, after all. Roy, her ex, had apparently replaced her effortlessly … If Lon came on to her — even a little bit — she was probably going to make an absolute fool of herself — with predictable results in the form of ridicule and humiliation. But even though she was absolutely certain of the outcome, she KNEW it wasn’t going to keep her from doing it…

Jean spent the whole day working on her self-control. She was the most exposed, since both the boys and her women friends knew she had made a fool of herself. Toby would be there, but so would Lon and Rick and — more important — Candace and Beth! It would all be very public, and easily controllable — right? Right? Right?

Posted: February 01, 2009 - 08:27:21 pm

Thursday morning was beautiful. It dawned in the lower sixties, and the temperature took all morning to climb into the mid seventies, which made lugging the barbeque and other assorted items out of the storage shed and putting them into service a lot easier for Rick and for Lon, who arrived around ten a.m. Jean put on the white bikini — which got her the look from Candace when she arrived with Lon, so she went upstairs and changed into the new baby blue outfit — but it took Candace twenty minutes to get her out of her bedroom, afterward, and she refused to go outside where the boys were working, preparing various condiments, drinks, chip and other snacks in the kitchen for transport outside.

Nothing lasts forever, though, especially with Candace meddling. When the barbeque and the additional tables and loungers were in position and the fire was started, Candace sent the boys inside to collect the food and transport it outside. Lon got the first eyeful, "Jeezus, Jean! You sure took Toby’s advice!" He added a loud wolf-whistle. "That rig is just incredible!"

Jean spun to face him, embarrassed, inadvertently displaying the tiny top that went with the thong that had been the first item detected. Behind Lon, Rick stood rooted, his mouth open in shock! Jean attempted to take issue with Lon’s casual use of her first name, but nothing would come out of her mouth! She blushed a startling shade of red from her crown to her breastbone — all of which was visible — and stood there, her mouth opening and closing while she tried to come up with something to say to defuse the situation. Still Lon was broadcasting approval without much in the way of lechery; Rick looked shocked for about five seconds, shrugged, popped his eyes, and reached for a cooler to take outside. Lon hung out for a few more seconds, nodding in admiration, then collected the other cooler.