Thinking Horndog - The Elegant Solution

When she returned to herself, she was mildly disgusted; she was no fan of fingers — it would have been better if Toby had actually … She stopped that train of thought in its tracks! Getting up, she went to the window, nude, to see if anyone had heard her outburst. Lon and Rick were invisible under the table umbrella — but Toby was there … While she eyed him, pondering her feelings, he glanced up, prompting her to back away from the window, hurriedly. Time to shower — and change the bedspread, too, for that matter; it had suntan oil all over it…

Toby did a double take, staring at the upstairs window. Had he seen what he THOUGHT he saw?

"Something wrong?" Lon asked.

"No, no…" Toby reprocessed the image in his mind; either his imagination was VERY good, or…

Posted: February 01, 2009 - 08:27:21 pm

"All right," Candace Carpenter grunted, flopping into a chair at Jean’s table at the coffee shop. "What is this urgent issue with the boys?" She was hung over — usually, she waited until the weekend to tear one up, but she’d met and enticed this tow-headed kid at the grocer, and one thing had led to another … Instead of PRETENDING to get drunk so he could take advantage of her, she’d GOTTEN drunk — and as a result, it hadn’t been as good. This morning, she was literally paying for fun she didn’t really get…

"Let’s wait until Beth gets here, "Jean urged. "I REALLY don’t want to go through this twice…"

Candace flounced back in her chair and fluffed her bleach-blonde hair, then re-seated her sunglasses on her nose. Things were so bright… "Oh, all right! You don’t suppose this place serves liquor, do you? My head is killing me!"

Jean rolled her eyes. "Of course not! Maybe I can get you some tomato juice or something, though…"

"Maybe I can convince myself it’s a Bloody Mary," Candace groaned.

While Jean was up at the counter, Beth Tolliver hove into view and settled herself gingerly across from Candace. "So what’s up?"

"Not so loud!" Candace wailed.

Beth chuckled. "You should really limit yourself to weekends…"

"Maybe…"

Jean came back with a glass of some red concoction. "They did what they could for you," she said, setting it before Candace.

Candace took a sip, winced, and nodded approval. "Okay, the gang’s all here. Spill."

Jean glanced around. "It’s all pretty embarrassing…"

"Jean…" Candace drummed her fingers on the tabletop, winced, and desisted. "Now!"

"Okay." Jean gathered herself. "Yesterday, out by the pool, the boys made this pact…"

"Kid stuff." Candace opined.

"Well, the targets aren’t kids!" Jean bristled.

Talking hurt, so Candace waved for Jean to get on with it. Jean leaned forward. "Lon was the ringleader — and that’s YOUR fault, I think!" she accused Candace. "He started going on about how they were in their sexual prime, but girls their age aren’t. According to him, they should be dating older women, especially for sex!"

"Well, he’s right, as far as that goes," Candace argued. "I’m at MY peak…"

" … And you’re chasing young boys!" Beth tittered.

"Well, that was the gist of Lon’s presentation," Jean continued. "When Toby pointed out that such things would be difficult, Lon insisted that it wasn’t that hard — in fact, they had a captive audience!"

"Being?" Candace asked, intrigued.

"Us!" Jean replied.

"Oh, my God!" Beth gasped.

Jean nodded. "The boys made a pact — basically, each of them is to look the other way — if not actively assist — while the other two put the moves on his mother!"

Candace snorted, winced. "And they think that will work?"

"Oh, yes, they discussed us in depth as targets," Jean assured her. "You’d have been embarrassed; Lon made no bones about the fact that you’ve been robbing the cradle. How did he put it?" She made to mimic Lon’s deep voice, "Hell, at this point, her dates can barely get into bars and buy liquor! Three or four more years won’t mean that much to her — especially when she realizes that there is an increase in performance to be had!"

Candace choked; the straw full of juice she was sucking changed pipes during her gasp. "He said that?" she wheezed.

"Verbatim," Jean confirmed.

"Okay, so I’m robbing the cradle. What did they say about Beth?" Candace grunted.

Jean grimaced. "It’s pretty embarrassing."

Beth made a study of the tabletop. "I think I ought to know…"

Jean gathered herself. "Short answer — you’re desperate. Toby related that he is aware that you have a couple of toys — and that they’re not adequately satisfactory…"

"Oh, my God!" Beth covered her face and made to scoot back from the table.

Candace pinned her with a hand on her shoulder. "It’s okay, Honey. Did he lie?"

Beth’s shoulders slumped. "No," she gusted, "but I didn’t realize he knew…"

"Um, I don’t know if this helps or hurts," Jean offered, "but apparently listening to you has made his solo efforts more enjoyable…"

Beth covered her reddened face again while Candace cackled, despite her hangover. "Boys will be boys!"

"You mean Toby masturbates?" Beth asked, clearly surprised.

"Of COURSE he does!" Candace replied. "He’s seventeen, for God’s sake! His balls make enough little wigglers every day to impregnate a platoon! What do you THINK he does? Don’t you find some kind of sticky rag in his bedroom periodically?"

"THAT’s what that is?" Beth was incredulous.

"Such an innocent!" Candace rolled her eyes. "What did they say about you?" she challenged Jean.

Jean colored. "Well, I WAS the girl least likely…"

"WAS?" Candace tilted her head. "What dirty little secret did Rick share?"

Jean shook her head in negation. "It wasn’t anything like that…"

Candace shrugged. "Sure it wasn’t. In any case, you’ve made me horny — congratulations! But this is all male bluster…"

"Uh uh," Jean insisted. "I thought so, too — and I was sure you would say that — so I concocted a test…"

Candace leaned forward. "Here’s where it gets good…"

Jean sucked in a breath. "I went upstairs and slid into my white bikini…"

"That still fits?" Beth exploded.

Jean nodded. "And I brought the boys out drinks. Lon did everything but wolf-whistle, but he turned out to be the obvious danger…"

Candace frowned, doing the math. Beth looked blank. Jean gathered herself, and pushed on, "Toby popped up with the old suntan lotion scam — only he was VERY slick about making it work!"

"Toby felt you up? TOBY?!" Candace was amazed — but Beth couldn’t even get a word out! Her boy Toby had gone hunting Jean? Impossible!

But Jean was cherry red as she nodded. "He got … just about everything. I embarrassed myself. I’ve … never been played that well, I don’t think. And by the time it was all over, the other boys knew it…"

Candace tilted her head, eyeing her friend as if she had two heads. Jean blustered, "Look! It’s been a long time, okay? He pushed the right buttons, somewhere, and I couldn’t stop him!"

"Did he fuck you?" Candace pressed.

"Noooo."

"But you wanted him to!" It wasn’t a question. Jean nodded.

Candace turned to Beth, "Well, well, well…"

"This is a joke, right?" Beth looked from one of her companions to another. Toby was a good boy!

Jean shook her head. "I don’t know if I can ever be in the same room with him again…"

"Especially alone, I bet!" Candace cracked up.

"You must have been really easy…" Beth ventured, unaware of the insult she was delivering.

Jean’s eyes snapped. "So how long do you think you can defend yourself against Lon? Because you’re going to HAVE to!"