Thinking Horndog - The Elegant Solution

"Mine, too!" Toby insisted.

Jean glanced at him and she knew that his eyes hadn’t left her face in the interim. He was totally focused — it was almost sinister… "Great! I’ll see you then!" she said, weakly.

" … If not before," Lon chuckled. Jean blinked and got out of there — but she went no farther than the kitchen window…

Lon sat forward. "Prime time! Dude, how many bedrooms does this place have?"

"Three, technically," Rick replied, "but one of them is a sort of office. Why?"

"Wake u-up!" Lon rolled his eyes. "Early negotiations are gonna be delicate, Man! Your mom’s gonna be embarrassed if Toby lays her out on a towel on the pool deck next to mine — especially if you’re there bangin' her! We’re gonna have to divide 'em up and take 'em off to private, comfortable locations so they aren’t worried about who is watching them enjoy themselves!"

"You act like Mom just declared an orgy or something!" Rick railed. "This shit is NOT a done deal!"

"Look, Dude!" Lon tossed his hair back. "Shit can happen — that’s a given. But I’m here to tell you that at least one of us is gonna get his ashes hauled Thursday, mark my words! We need to plan like it’s gonna be the perfect storm and we’re all gonna be pounding pussy simultaneously, or somebody is gonna get in somebody else’s way! Get me?"

"Awright, awright!" Rick rasped. "There IS the den…"

"Yeah," Lon nodded. "Big leather couch, right? Does it fold out?"

"Yeah."

"Who wants it?" Lon asked.

"What else is there?" Toby wondered aloud.

"Well, there’s the master bedroom, and Rick’s room…" Lon pondered a bit. "Beth probably won’t care — it’s not her place. But Jean may not want to fuck in either bedroom — bad ju-ju or something — you know how superstitious women are…" He eyed Rick. "What about you? Is taking Mama up to your bedroom a bad thing?"

Rick thought about it. "Probably not."

"Okay," Lon offered up the provisional billeting, "How about this, then — I take Beth up to the master bedroom, Rick takes Mama to his room, and Toby takes Jean to the den?"

"What if one of them fucks it up?" Rick worried.

Lon thought about it. "Okay, everybody wears flip-flops, right? If your woman drags you to someone else’s love nest, you drop your flip-flops outside the door. That’s the cue for the next guy that he needs to switch targets."

Toby scratched his head. "How do I know where to fall back to? How do I know who fucked who up?"

Lon chuckled. "Well, I wear these," he murmured, displaying his leather sandals, "and Rick’s rubber flip-flops are black…" Toby grunted and waved; his were black, too … Lon frowned. "Well, YOU’LL know, but I won’t. How about you leave only one shoe in place in front of the door? Left is Rick, and right is you? Kick the other one away…"

"All right," Rick grunted. This was getting complex… "Anything else?"

"Well, we need to cooperate to maximize the opportunity," Lon insisted. "The sunblock trick is good, but might not fly twice. Keep your eyes open for ways to get them as naked as possible and thinking about sex. Games, sunbathing … Anything!"

"Games?" Toby blinked.

"Naked Twister, Spin the Bottle, Strip Poker…" Lon offered. "I dunno — be creative!" Both Rick and Toby nodded vacantly, visions of bouncing mature titties floating before their eyes.

"Anything else?" Rick asked.

"Not that I can think of," Lon replied, "But if you think of something, let us know tomorrow…"

Jean headed upstairs to call Candace; she knew better than to pass such information to poor Beth…

"It was hilarious, and it was scary," Jean related. "They sat out there and discussed which rooms each of them would drag us off to!"

"No shit?" Candace cackled. "They’re serious, all right!"

"They even have this elaborate set of signals in the event that one of us changes things inadvertently so they can shift targets!"

"Wow!" Candace shook her head.

"Look, Candace, we’re not REALLY going along with this, are we?" Jean asked for the fourteenth time.

"Honey, if you plan not to, you’re probably gonna end up embarrassed! Why don’t you just cover your tiny little ass in case it happens?" Candace advised.

"I just can’t imagine their grand plan working…" Jean mused.

"I can, Honey!" Candace replied. "Frankly, I don’t see how Lon, in particular, can fail! I think one of Beth’s favorite fantasies took a direct hit…"

"Shouldn’t we try to stop it?"

"Honey, what have you got against Beth getting a little dick? Why can’t she be happy?" Candace ranted.

"Well…"

"Well, nothing! You know she’s been hurting — and her self-esteem is in the cellar, for God’s sake! This thing will prop her up and get her going again, no doubt — and that will help her get the courage to put herself out there again!"

"Um. When you put it THAT way…"

"I AM putting it that way!" Candace retorted. "While you’re at it, look in the mirror, Hon!"

"Oh, all RIGHT!" Jean hung up, exasperated. Damn Candace! She wasn’t happy unless she had a man between her legs, and now she was working on her friends!

Toby was the first person to see the results of the shopping trip. "Toby? What do you think of my new swimsuit?" his mother asked.

Toby rolled his eyes as he leaned up in his chair to turn around and look. All Ma’s swimsuits had that hippo in a tutu look — lots of coverage and a ruffle skirt designed to mask the bulge of her belly. Okay, Ma was chunky, and she had a serious ass on her, but she was Rubenesque, rather than just porky, and she had big jugs. Something that looked like a leotard with a ruffle attached only accented the bad parts while masking the good…

But Beth wasn’t wearing one of those; Toby blinked and took a second look. In the first place, the suit was a two-piece — okay, it wasn’t a coupe of triangles of cloth and some strings, but the top and the bottom were separate, and Ma’s belly was bare — and while the uncharitable might mumble that she looked pregnant, the fact was that there was only a gentle, womanly swell there, not six month’s worth. Ma had been dieting for months, but this was Toby’s first real look at the results…

The suit was a total departure for Beth; the top was a somewhat narrow, tube-top design made of several vertical black and navy stretch panels that presented an alternating pattern of wide vertical stripes. Where the stripes in striped fabric would have deformed in places, bulging to deal with the surfaces they were covering, the vertical panels had been tailored with this in mind, making her look slimmer and more in control of her figure — except, of course, in front, where the two black panels covering her breasts and the navy one connecting them had been cut to emphasize Beth’s already sizeable bust. The bottoms, which were of a no-nonsense but low-riding cut, were similarly designed; the navy side-panels presented a reference stripe of continuous width that emphasized her various curves without producing the impression that she was bulging out of the suit, while the navy front - crotch - back panel was cleverly cut so as not to appear to expand as it crawled up her belly while actually doing so.

For Beth, the suit was beyond daring, despite what a willowy teen female might think of it; Toby’s applause, wolf whistle, and shout of, "Way to go, Ma!" caused her to blush furiously.

"You like it?" she asked.

"It’s cool!" Toby replied enthusiastically, thinking, Lon would LOVE this!

"Not too much?"

"You can handle it!"

"Oh, good!" Beth STILL wouldn’t go to a public beach in the thing, but it was only going to be her and the girls and the three boys — at least one of which was apparently already drooling after her … She turned around, "I’m showing a little cellulite…"