Kelly Jamieson - Lost and Found

Krissa returned her mother’s gaze. “You think I was cheating on Derek, don’t you? And that’s why our marriage ended.”

“Well…that morning I came over and you two…”

“What?” David’s frown deepened. “Krissa, what the hell did you do?”

She looked from her mother to her father, then sipped her tea. “You’ve already judged me,” she said. Strangely the butterflies billowing in her tummy had calmed down. She’d done it with Cameron. She could do it with them.

“Of course we haven’t, but I saw…” Lizbeth’s voice trailed off. “And then you didn’t want to talk about it, so I assumed…”

“I guess I should have explained to you what was going on,” Krissa agreed quietly. “But it’s complicated.” She paused. “I came here to tell you some news.”

They looked at her expectantly.

“I’m pregnant.”

The widening of the eyes was identical on both of them and they turned and shared a look before swiveling back to face Krissa. “Pregnant? Oh, Krissa! So you and Derek are getting back together?”

“No.”

“No?”

Krissa licked her lips and took a breath. “Derek and I are done, for good. I found out after we split up that I’m pregnant. But we won’t be getting back together.”

“But…why not?”

“Derek cheated on me.”

“He what!”

She nodded, took another sip of the lemony tea, icy cold and sweet.

“Krissa, what did you do?”

And there it was. “What did I do?” she asked calmly. “He cheated, and you ask what did I do?”

“There must have been a reason. Usually when men cheat it’s because they aren’t getting enough…you know…at home.”

Krissa laughed. “We had lots of sex, Mom.”

She took a strange pleasure in the red that stained her mother’s cheeks.

“But then…you’re going to have the baby on your own?” Her mother looked horrified.

“It’s not that bad. Lots of women do it.” She smiled. “Don’t worry, Mom. I won’t make you change diapers.”

Lizbeth didn’t even smile at that. “But, Krissa. Having a child is difficult, even with a husband. I should know. But without…” She shuddered.

“Yes, I know that you are well familiar with how difficult it is to have a child,” Krissa said, the butterflies replaced with stinging hornets of anger. They swarmed inside her, trying to get out. “Once again I’m sorry that I wrecked your life.”

“Krissa.” Her father interjected with a frown.

“That’s what she believes,” Krissa told him. “You know it, and I know it. Only, you know what, Mom? I am not responsible for everyone else’s problems. Derek made choices in his life. You made choices in your life. I had nothing to do with those choices.”

They both stared at her open-mouthed.

The shocked surprise on their faces gave her a funny little rush. The desire to shock them more.

“So, since you’ve already judged me, you may as well know…the baby isn’t Derek’s. The baby is Nate’s. You were right. I was screwing around with him. But…Derek was right there with us.” Their sharply indrawn breaths were audible across the room. “The three of us were in a relationship. Derek is sterile and we wanted Nate to be the father of our baby. But things didn’t work exactly like we planned.” Her mouth twisted. “It’s true, Derek cheated on me. It’s been going on for years. You can blame me for it if you want. I don’t care, because I know it wasn’t my fault.”

Krissa swallowed the last of the tea and clunked the glass down onto the cocktail table. She stood up, slung her purse over her shoulder.

“Thanks for your support, Mom and Dad.”

The sight of her mother’s face, all the color drained out of it, her eyes hazy, almost stopped her from walking out. But hell, she had momentum going, she might as well go with it.

Krissa wasn’t sure what should happen next. She was not going to apologize to her parents for shocking them, though. They’d either accept her and not judge her for what she’d done or… She sighed, sitting by the pool with a magazine the next night. Several people were enjoying the pool in the warm evening. Krissa smiled as Joe Surfer Dude tossed one of the teenage girls into the water, her scream submerged in a splash. Krissa felt way older than her neighbors but at least they were human company.

Why she even thought of apologizing, she had no idea. Long-standing guilt nibbled at her. She really had to get over that. But if she ever wanted any relationship with them, she’d likely have to make the first move.

Or not. Her tummy flipped over as she spotted her mother at the gate of the wrought-iron fence enclosing the pool. She slowly flipped her magazine closed, rose out of the chair she’d been sitting in. She lifted a hand to her mother and walked toward her.

She opened the gate. “Hi.”

“Hello.” They eyed each other. “Krissa. We need to talk.”

Her mom’s face looked tight, with faint lines around her eyes and mouth.

“Sure. Let’s go up to my place.”

“This is a nice building.”

“It’s okay.”

Lizbeth followed her up the wooden stairs to her second-floor door. Krissa unlocked it and led the way in.

Lizbeth looked around. “Oh, Krissa. I hate to see you living like this.”

“It’s fine, Mom. I have what I need.”

“Are you…do you have enough money?”

“I have money. My business is doing okay. I’ll be fine, really. I’m just starting over, that’s why it looks so bare in here.”

“You know, half of everything you had with Derek is yours.”

Krissa blinked at her. “Well…yes. It is. But…in the end, there wasn’t much I wanted. Just what I needed.”

“You need a lawyer,” her mother said firmly. “That house must be worth a few million dollars. Half of that is yours.”

“There was a humongous mortgage on it,” Krissa muttered.

“Krissa. This isn’t just about you. It’s about your child, too. I’ll get you the name of our lawyer tomorrow. Call him.”

Krissa blinked. “Okay.” She gestured to the sofa. “Have a seat. Would like a drink? Coffee? Tea?”

“Tea would be lovely.”

Krissa didn’t have a kettle so she put two mugs of water into the microwave. She opened a cupboard and found two boxes. “Earl Grey or green tea?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

She plucked two green tea bags out and waited for the water.

“When is the baby due?” her mother asked. Her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

“In March. March twenty-first.”

“Well. That’s accurate.”

Krissa shrugged. The microwave dinged and she reached in for the steaming mugs, dropped a teabag into each. “I know the exact day I got pregnant.”

“Oh.”

“I know you don’t approve.” Krissa carried the mugs over to the couch and set them on the small table in front. “I’m sorry, Mom.” Damn it, the apology had just slipped out. “But what happened, happened.”

“You shocked us last night.”

“I know.” She fought back the smile that tugged her lips.

Her mother’s own mouth twitched—shockingly. “You enjoyed, that didn’t you?”

Krissa stared. “Um…yes.”

Lizbeth shook her head. “I think there’s a lot more to the story than you told us.”

“Well…yeah.”

“I don’t know if I want to hear it.”

“I don’t know if I want to tell you.” They looked at each other for a stretched out moment.

“That’s fine,” Lizbeth said finally. “We love you, Krissa. I don’t know what happened between you and Derek and Nate. I really don’t know if…” She drew in a breath. “If I can ever…understand. I only…I wish…” She sputtered to stop. She took a quick sip of her tea.