Jon Athan - Am I Beautiful?

“Are you okay?” Miki asked. “Do you want some water?”

Elbow over his mouth, Adam said, “Stay ba—” He coughed again, then he jabbed his index finger at her and said, “Stay back. Get away from me. You just… You stay the hell away from me, you understand?”

Miki shook her head and said, “I won’t.”

“ Why? ”

“Because I want to go back to California with you and I can’t do that if I let you push me away.”

Adam staggered, falling apart at the seams. Her response confirmed his suspicions. She knows everything, he thought. He held his breath, gritted his teeth, and clenched his fist. Tears glistened on his red cheeks and sweat on his veiny forehead. He needed all of his mental strength to stop himself from hitting her. He walked backwards until he crashed into the bed.

He sighed, then he said, “You’re not going anywhere with me. That’s final.”

Miki stepped away from the corner and said, “If I can’t have you… I’ll tell your wife about us.”

It happened so fast. Adam didn’t even realize what had happened until he felt the stinging pain in his palm and saw Miki sprawled on top of the dining table. He had slapped her. He hit her with so much force, so much anger, that he strained her neck with the blow.

Miki felt the floor tilting under her feet like a seesaw. The pain from her battered cheek spread across her face, leaving a terrifying prickling sensation in its wake. She took a moment to collect herself, panting and whining.

Adam tried to apologize, but only a dry croak escaped his throat. Scream at me, he thought. Hate me. Please hate me. Don’t make me do this to you. Miki stood up straight, her hand over her red cheek. She turned to face Adam, shuddering and flinching uncontrollably.

She said, “Adam, please don’t hurt me. I’m… I’m pregnant.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ No. ”

“ Yes! I’m pregnant, Adam. And it’s yours, I swear.”

“That’s impossible!” Adam yelled. He raised his hand at her, but he hesitated before he could slap her again. He made his thumb and forefinger into a gun and pointed it at her. He said, “We met a week ago. Seven, eight days ago. I wore a condom!”

“You didn’t,” Miki said. “Don’t you remember? You tried to put it on, but it didn’t fit. You said that you’d ‘cum’ on my stomach, that you could hold it, that you knew when to stop.”

Voice laced with doubt, Adam stuttered, “N–No… I–I didn’t… I was… I wore a condom. You’re not pregnant.”

Miki put her hands on her stomach and stuttered, “I–I took the test this morning. It was positive. I have it in my drawer. I can show you. It’s—”

“None of this matters. I don’t need to see anything. I don’t care if you’re pregnant. It’s not mine. It’s probably from some other foreigner you fucked.”

“You’re the only man I’ve been with. It’s yours… ours. We’re going to have a ba—”

“Goddammit!” Adam shouted as he slapped her again.

The whack echoed through the building. Miki yelped. She crashed into the table, then she fell to her knees. A patch of bloody red dots extended across her left cheekbone. Bolts of pain shot through her jaw. Her black hair hung over her face.

Walking in circles in the middle of the room, Adam said, “You’re crazy. You’ve lost your mind and now you’re trying to make me lose mine . You’re trying to ruin my life with your lies and your stalking. I could put you in prison. You know that? I could get a restraining order against you, too. What do you think about that?” He stopped and glanced around the room. He continued, “But I don’t need any of that, do I? You can’t afford to travel to California, can you? You’re barely getting by here, aren’t you? Living paycheck to paycheck… No… Dick to dick , right? Is that what this is? You want to extort me? Well, fuck you. I’m not giving you a dime. I’m not helping you get to me. Fuck that shit. Fuck all of this bullshit!”

He started walking in circles again. Miki grabbed the edge of the table and pulled herself up to her feet. She glared at him, her fear replaced by reckless determination. Common sense told her to run, scream for help and call the cops. Love told her to fight for their relationship, seize the opportunity and win Adam’s heart.

She said, “I love you… and I’m pregnant… and it’s your baby. All of that is true. I don’t care if you believe me or not. There’s nothing you can do to change any of that.” Adam stopped and looked at her. Miki said, “And maybe you’re right. I don’t have the money to travel to California… to your home in Los Angeles… in Manhattan Beach.”

“Don’t say anything you’ll regret.”

Disregarding his warning, Miki said, “But I’ll find my way to you. Even if it takes months or years, I’ll find you, Adam. I’ll show up at your door and maybe— maybe —I’ll have our baby with me when I get there. She’ll look just like you. And your wife, Amber , she’ll recognize our baby like it was her own and she won’t know why until I tell her the truth. And I will tell her everything. The way you made love to me, the way—”

Adam smashed the whiskey bottle on her face, causing it to shatter into dozens of pieces. A large, curved shard pierced her temple. A splash of blood leapt out of the wound. It splattered on Adam’s face, the wall behind him, and the ceiling. Another shard cut her above her left eyebrow and a third piece of glass sliced her cheek.

Miki screamed as she crashed into the wall between the dining table and the kitchen counter. She swiped at her face with one hand and swung her other arm frantically, trying to get the alcohol out of her eyes while keeping Adam away. The whiskey stung her eyes, turning them bloodshot and blinding her for a moment. She felt like her eyes were being cooked on a stove while they were still in their sockets.

Some glass fragments dusted her left eye and cut her eyelids. A droplet of blood oozed out from the corner of her eye.

She stammered, “D–D–Don’t… Pl–Please, Adam, do—”

“Shut up!” Adam bellowed as he struck her with a jab to the face.

“ Tasukete! ”

‘ Tasukete ’ translated to ‘ help. ’

Another punch interrupted her.

“Tasuke—”

A third jab rocked her.

Miki’s legs wobbled. Adam launched a flurry of punches at her head, turning her skull into a speed bag. He put his shoulder into each punch, using his weight to maximize the damage. Her head bounced off the wall with each violent blow. The wound on her temple widened and stretched, connecting to the cut above her eyebrow and reaching her ear.

Shoulder against the wall, Miki stumbled forward. She bumped into the dining chair. The chair’s legs screeched across the floor. It was loud enough to disturb the neighbors, but no one responded to the noise. Adam dropped the other half of the broken bottle. He grabbed the back of her shirt to stop her, then he hit her with an uppercut—once, twice, thrice . She staggered back to the wall.

The deep gash on the bridge of her nose revealed her severed nasal septum—soft, crimson-red cartilage. Blood trickled out of her nostrils. Her teeth had sliced her bottom lip three times.

Adam pinned her against the wall and unleashed another barrage of jabs. Her left socket was fractured, blood pooling in the black sack of flesh under her eye. She writhed against the wall and clawed at his forearm, but she couldn’t break free. She grabbed his other arm and redirected his fist. The wall rattled as he inadvertently punched it.