Kim Harrison - Dates From Hell

“Oh man that is so awesome!”

Claire blinked her eyes open at Jill’s words and peered down to find her chest flat.

“Can you make them grow?” Jill asked curiously.

“I believe she did on the dance floor tonight,” Kyle said dryly, and Claire felt herself flush.

“It was an accident,” she admitted.

“Do you know how cool this is?” Jill asked with disbelief. “A boob job without silicone or surgery. Oh Kyle, can I get zapped, too?”

“Jill!” Claire cried, staring at her with disbelief.

“No,” Kyle said firmly at the same time.

Jill chose to respond to Kyle’s answer, asking a plaintive “Why not?”

“We don’t know what side effects there are,” he said as if explaining things to a child. “There could be all sorts of repercussions to this kind of molecular alteration. Her cells are now unstable, they might—”

When he paused abruptly, Claire finished what he was reluctant to say. “They might yet break apart altogether and leave me a puddle of goo.”

They were all silent for a minute, then Jill asked, “You’re kidding, right?”

Kyle reached out to caress Claire’s cheek, then cleared his throat and changed the subject. “You did that without a picture. Do you think you could change yourself back to yourself in a dress without a picture?”

Claire hesitated, not at all certain she could manage the trick. Her boobs were…well…her boobs. But he was talking about the whole body.

“Never mind,” Kyle said suddenly. “I don’t want you to do too much shifting until we’re sure that it doesn’t cause the cells to destabilize further.”

“You mean her switching back and forth tonight might have been dangerous?” Jill asked with dismay.

Claire frowned at the possibility. It was something she hadn’t considered.

“I don’t know,” Kyle admitted. “This is all new ground and I’m not sure what could happen. Nothing has happened to the animals so far, but they’ve only been changing color, not shifting their shapes.”

Jill looked briefly stricken that this favor Claire had done her might have been dangerous and harmful, then she shook her head. “That’s it then, switch back to yourself.”

“I’ll be naked,” Claire pointed out with alarm.

“You can wear Kyle’s suit jacket,” Jill suggested.

“I am not walking out of here wearing nothing but Kyle’s suit jacket,” Claire said emphatically.

Kyle cleared his throat and said, “I’m afraid there are only two choices here…No, three,” he corrected himself.

“Which are?” Claire asked warily, sure she wouldn’t like any of them.

“One: you and I can stay here and wait while Jill drives home and fetches you some clothes.”

Claire grimaced at the suggestion. Too many embarrassing situations could come out of that. They were two men in a women’s washroom, after all. Well, one and a half men, she supposed.

“Two: you can leave here as you are,” Kyle continued, but his expression suggested this wasn’t really an option at all. Having seen herself, Claire had to agree, so she didn’t even bother to comment. Instead, she prompted, “Or?”

“Or, three: you can change back to yourself and leave here naked with my jacket on,” he finished with a shrug.

“No offense,” Claire said unhappily. “But those options all suck.”

Turning away, she leaned her head against the cool metal of the stall wall and tried to think of something herself.

“What?” Jill asked when Claire suddenly stiffened. “You have an idea?”

“Maybe. What if you went and got one of the phoebuses and I shifted into one of the teachers. I could leave here, then we could go get another present-day photo of me and—” She paused at the thunderous expressions on the faces of both Lockharts. They looked furious that she would even suggest the extra shift. “Never mind. Okay, Kyle give me your jacket.”

All three of them were forced to shift and bend and juggle about to allow him to remove the suit coat, and then to do so again as she donned it. They were all hot and sweaty and relieved when it was done.

“Okay, shift,” Jill instructed once Claire had the jacket on over her Brad/Claire body.

Claire closed her eyes and concentrated on being herself.

“Honest to God, Claire. You’re the only woman I know who could make a man’s jacket look sexy.”

Claire blinked her eyes open at Jill’s words.

“Am I me?” she asked, glancing down at herself, eyebrows rising at just how short the jacket was on her. Dear God, she wasn’t going to be bending over any time soon.

“Oh yeah, you’re you,” Kyle said huskily, and Claire flushed under his admiring glance.

“Oh please,” Jill said. “Let’s get out of here. I can smell the hormones starting to ooze out of the two of you. And while I love you both, I’d rather not think of either of you naked doing the wild thing, especially not together.” She ended her comment with a delicate little shudder of distaste that made both Claire and Kyle grimace.

“Go check and be sure the hall is empty first, Jill,” Kyle suggested.

“Oh right. Be right back.” She had barely slid from the stall when Kyle turned Claire into his arms and covered her mouth with his.

Claire gasped in surprise at the abrupt action and Kyle took advantage of her open mouth and thrust his tongue inside.

“Oh God!” Jill’s exclamation drew them apart. “Can’t you at least wait until you get her to the car?”

Claire flushed as they turned to face Kyle’s sister, and Jill shook her head.

“The coast is clear if you want to leave. Or the two of you could just do it right here in the girls’ bathroom and get it over with. Honestly!” Turning, she stomped back to the door muttering, “He waits forever to finally ask her out, then he’s all over her. Mr. Octopus. Hands everywhere. It really is the quiet ones you have to watch.”

Biting her lip, Claire hurried after Jill, aware that Kyle was at her back. She could feel his gaze traveling over the back of her bare legs and was grateful the jacket covered at least her behind.

“Damn,” Kyle muttered several moments later as they stared at the third exit door they’d approached since leaving the washroom. This, like the two before it, was chained shut.

“The door by the gymnasium must be the only one they left open tonight,” Jill suggested.

“They should have a second door unlocked in case of fire,” Kyle said with a frown.

“Maybe they do, on the other side of the gym,” Claire suggested.

Both Kyle and Jill peered at her, their gazes sliding over her skimpy wear. They had managed to avoid being seen so far. The first door they had tried had been the only one with any real risk of being seen. The last two were down halls no one had any real business being down, including themselves under normal circumstances.

“The gym bisects this end of the school,” Kyle pointed out. “The only way to get to the other side is through the gym.”

“Or across the stage,” Claire said.

Kyle blinked. “I forgot about the stage,” he acknowledged. The small gymnasium was used for plays as well as sports, or had been when they’d attended Murphy High.

“It’s curtained off tonight.” Jill began to grin. “We can sneak across it to the other side and slip out unseen.”

“Okay.” Kyle took an arm of each of them and turned back the way they’d come.

Luck seemed to be on their side, and they reached the door to the back of the stage unseen. All three of them sighed with relief as they slipped into the dark alcove at the foot of the stairs leading onstage…until the door closed, leaving them in utter blackness.

“I can’t see a thing,” Jill complained in a whisper, her hand grabbing at Claire’s arm.