Lisa Smith: The Struggle

And then her eyes picked out another dark head among the crowd.

Damon was leaning… no, lounging… against the north wall. His lips were curved into a half smile, and his eyes met Elena’s boldly.

Mayor Dawley was beside her, urging her forward, quieting the crowd, trying to restore order. It was no use. Elena read her selection in a dreamy voice to a babbling group of people who weren’t paying attention in the slightest. She wasn’t paying attention, either; she had no idea what words she was saying. Every so often she looked at Damon.

There was applause, scattered and distracted, when she finished, and the mayor announced the rest of the events for that afternoon. And then it was all over, and Elena was free to go.

She floated offstage without any conscious idea of where she was going, but her legs carried her to the north wall. Damon’s dark head moved out the side door and she followed it.

The air in the courtyard seemed deliciously cool after the crowded room, and the clouds above were silvery and swirling. Damon was waiting for her.

Her steps slowed but did not stop. She moved until she was only a foot or so away from him, her eyes searching his face.

There was a long moment of silence and then she spoke. “Why?”

“I thought you’d be more interested in how .” He patted his jacket significantly. “I got invited in for coffee this morning after scraping up an acquaintance last week.”

“But why ?”

He shrugged, and for just an instant something like consternation flickered across his finely drawn features. It seemed to Elena that he himself didn’t know why—or didn’t want to admit it.

“For my own purposes,” he said.

“I don’t think so.” Something was building between them, something that frightened Elena with its power. “I don’t think that’s the reason at all.”

There was a dangerous glimmer in those dark eyes. “Don’t push me, Elena.”

She moved closer, so that she was almost touching him, and looked at him. “I think,” she said, “that maybe you need to be pushed.”

His face was only inches away from hers, and Elena never knew what might have happened if at that moment a voice hadn’t broken in on them.

“You did manage to make it after all! I’m so glad!”

It was Aunt Judith. Elena felt as if she were being whisked from one world to another. She blinked dizzily, stepping back, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“And so you got to hear Elena read,” Aunt Judith continued happily. “You did a beautiful job, Elena, but I don’t know what was going on with Caroline. The girls in this town are all acting bewitched lately.”

“Nerves,” suggested Damon, his face carefully solemn. Elena felt an urge to giggle and then a wave of irritation. It was all very well to be grateful to Damon for saving them, but if not for Damon there wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. Damon had committed the crimes Caroline wanted to pin on Stefan.

“And where is Stefan?” she said, voicing her next thought aloud. She could see Bonnie and Meredith in the courtyard alone.

Aunt Judith’s face showed her disapproval. “I haven’t seen him,” she said briefly. Then she smiled fondly. “But I have an idea; why don’t you come to dinner with us, Damon? Then afterwards perhaps you and Elena could—”

“Stop it!” said Elena to Damon. He looked politely inquiring.

“What?” said Aunt Judith.

“Stop it!” Elena said to Damon again. “You know what. Just stop it right now!”

“Elena, you’re being rude!” Aunt Judith seldom got angry but she was angry now. “You’re too old for this kind of behavior.”

“It’s not rudeness! You don’t understand—”

“I understand perfectly. You’re acting just the way you did when Damon came to dinner. Don’t you think a guest deserves a little more consideration?”

Frustration flooded over Elena. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” she said. This was too much. To hear Damon’s words coming from Aunt Judith’s lips… it was unbearable.

“Elena!” A mottled flush was creeping up Aunt Judith’s cheeks. “I’m shocked at you! And I have to say that this childish behavior only started since you’ve been going out with that boy.”

“Oh, ’that boy’.” Elena glared at Damon.

“Yes, that boy!” Aunt Judith answered. “Ever since you lost your head over him you’ve been a different person. Irresponsible, secretive—and defiant! He’s been a bad influence from the start, and I won’t tolerate it any more.”

“Oh, really?” Elena felt as if she were talking to Damon and Aunt Judith at once, and she looked back and forth between the two of them. All the emotions she’d been suppressing for the last days—for the last weeks, for the months since Stefan had come into her life—were surging forward. It was like a great tidal wave inside her, over which she had no control.

She realized she was shaking. “Well, that’s too bad because you’re going to have to tolerate it. I am never going to give Stefan up, not for anyone. Certainly not for you!” This last was meant for Damon, but Aunt Judith gasped.

“That’s enough!” Robert snapped. He’d appeared with Margaret, and his face was dark. “Young lady, if this is how that boy encourages you to speak to your aunt—”

“He’s not ’that boy’!” Elena took another step back, so she could face all of them. She was making a spectacle of herself, everyone in the courtyard was looking. But she didn’t care. She had been keeping a lid on her feelings for so long, shoving down all the anxiety and the fear and the anger where it wouldn’t be seen. All the worry about Stefan, all the terror over Damon, all the shame and humiliation she’d suffered at school, she’d buried it deep. But now it was coming back. All of it, all at once, in a maelstrom of impossible violence. Her heart was pounding crazily; her ears rang. She felt that nothing mattered except to hurt the people who stood in front of her, to show them all.

“He’s not ’that boy’,” she said again, her voice deadly cold. “He’s Stefan and he’s all I care about. And I happen to be engaged to him.”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” Robert thundered. It was the last straw.

“Is this ridiculous?” She held up her hand, the ring toward them. “We’re going to get married!”

“You are not going to get married,” Robert began. Everyone was furious. Damon grabbed her hand and stared at the ring, then turned abruptly and strode away, every step full of barely leashed savagery. Robert was spluttering on in exasperation. Aunt Judith was fuming.

“Elena, I absolutely forbid you—”

“You’re not my mother !” Elena cried. Tears were trying to force themselves out of her eyes. She needed to get away, to be alone, to be with someone who loved her. “If Stefan asks, tell him I’ll be at the boarding house!” she added, and broke away through the crowd.

She half expected Bonnie or Meredith to follow her, but she was glad they didn’t. The parking lot was full of cars but almost empty of people. Most of the families were staying for the afternoon activities. But a battered Ford sedan was parked nearby, and a familiar figure was unlocking the door.

“Matt! Are you leaving?” She made her decision instantly. It was too cold to walk all the way to the boarding house.

“Huh? No, I’ve got to help Coach Lyman take the tables down. I was just putting this away.” He tossed the Outstanding Athlete placard into the front seat. “Hey, are you okay?” His eyes widened at the sight of her face.