Lisa Smith: The Struggle

Feelings of love, of delight, of appreciation overwhelmed her and with incredulous joy she realized the feelings were his. For a moment, she sensed herself through his eyes, and sensed how much he cared for her. It might have been frightening if she had not had the same depth of feeling to give back to him.

She felt no pain as his teeth pierced her neck. And it didn’t even occur to her that she had unthinkingly offered him the unmarked side—even though the wounds Damon had left were healed already.

She clung to him when he tried to lift his head. He was adamant, though, and at last she had to let him do it. Still holding her, he groped over onto the dresser for the wicked ivory-handled blade and with one quick motion he let his own blood flow.

When Elena’s knees grew weak, he sat her on the bed. And then they just held each other, unaware of time or anything else. Elena felt that only she and Stefan existed.

“I love you,” he said softly.

At first Elena, in her pleasant haze, simply accepted the words. Then, with a chill of sweetness, she realized what he’d said.

He loved her . She’d known it all along, but he had never said it before.

“I love you, Stefan,” she whispered back. She was surprised when he shifted and pulled away slightly, until she saw what he was doing. Reaching inside his sweater, he drew out the chain he had worn around his neck ever since she had known him. On the chain was a gold ring, exquisitely crafted, set with lapis lazuli.

Katherine’s ring. As Elena watched, he took the chain off and unclasped it, removing the delicate golden band.

“When Katherine died,” he said, “I thought I could never love anyone else. Even though I knew she would have wanted me to, I was sure it could never happen. But I was wrong.” He hesitated a moment and then went on.

“I kept the ring because it was a symbol of her. So I could keep her in my heart. But now I’d like it to be a symbol of something else.” Again he hesitated, seeming almost afraid to meet her eyes. “Considering the way things are, I don’t really have any right to ask this. But, Elena—” He struggled on for a few minutes and then gave up, his eyes meeting hers mutely.

Elena couldn’t speak. She couldn’t even breathe. But Stefan misinterpreted her silence. The hope in his eyes died and he turned away.

“You’re right,” he said. “It’s all impossible. There are just too many difficulties—because of me. Because of what I am. Nobody like you should be tied to someone like me. I shouldn’t even have suggested it—”

“Stefan!” said Elena. “Stefan, if you’ll be quiet a moment—”

“—so just forget I said anything—”

“ Stefan !” she said. “Stefan, look at me .”

Slowly, he obeyed, turning back. He looked into her eyes, and the bitter self-condemnation faded from his face, to be replaced by a look that made her lose her breath again. Then, still slowly, he took the hand she was holding out. Deliberately, as they both watched, he slipped the ring onto her finger.

It fit as if it had been made for her. The gold glinted richly in the light, and the lapis shone a deep vibrant blue like a clear lake surrounded by untouched snow.

“We’ll have to keep it a secret for a while,” she said, hearing the tremor in her voice.

“Aunt Judith will have a fit if she knows I’m engaged before I graduate. But I’ll be eighteen next summer, and then she can’t stop us.”

“Elena, are you sure this is what you want? It won’t be easy living with me. I’ll always be different from you, no matter how I try. If you ever want to change your mind…”

“As long as you love me, I’ll never change my mind.”

He took her in his arms again, and peace and contentment enfolded her. But there was still one fear that gnawed at the edges of her consciousness.

“Stefan, about tomorrow—if Caroline and Tyler carry out their plan, it won’t matter if I change my mind or not.”

“Then we’ll just have to make sure they can’t carry it out. If Bonnie and Meredith will help me, I think I can find a way to get the diary from Caroline. But even if I can’t, I’m not going to run. I won’t leave you, Elena; I’m going to stay and fight.”

“But they’ll hurt you. Stefan, I can’t stand that.”

“And I can’t leave you. That’s settled. Let me worry about the rest of it; I’ll find a way. And if I don’t… well, no matter what I’ll stay with you. We’ll be together.”

“We’ll be together,” Elena repeated, and rested her head on his shoulder, happy to stop thinking for a while and just be .

November 29, Friday

Dear Diary,

It’s late but I couldn’t sleep. I don’t seem to need as much sleep as I used to.

Well, tomorrow’s the day.

We talked to Bonnie and Meredith tonight. Stefan’s plan is simplicity itself. The thing is, no matter where Caroline has hidden the diary, she has to bring it out tomorrow to take it with her. But our readings are the last thing on the agenda, and she has to be in the parade and everything first. She’ll have to stash the diary somewhere during that time. So if we watch her from the minute she leaves her house until she gets up on stage, we should be able to see where she puts it down. And since she doesn’t even know we’re suspicious, she won’t be on guard.

That’s when we get it.

The reason the plan will work is because everyone in the program will be in period dress. Mrs. Grimesby, the librarian, will help us put on our 19th century clothes before the parade, and we can’t be wearing or carrying anything that’s not part of the costume. No purses, no backpacks. No diaries! Caroline will have to leave it behind at some point.

We’re taking turns watching her. Bonnie is going to wait outside her house and see what Caroline’s carrying when she leaves. I’ll watch her when she gets dressed at Mrs. Grimesby’s house. Then, while the parade is going on, Stefan and Meredith will break into the house — or the Forbes’ car, if that’s where it is — and do their stuff .

I don’t see how it can fail. And I can’t tell you how much better I feel. It’s so good just to be able to share this problem with Stefan. I’ve learned my lesson; I’ll never keep things from him again .

I’m wearing my ring tomorrow. If Mrs. Grimesby asks me about it, I’ll tell her it’s even older than 19th century, it’s from Renaissance Italy. I’d like to see her face when I say that.

I’d better try to get some sleep now. I hope I don’t dream.

Bonnie shivered as she waited outside the tall Victorian house. The air was frosty this morning, and although it was almost eight o’clock the sun had never really come up. The sky was just one dense massed bank of gray and white clouds, creating an eerie twilight below.

She had begun to stamp her feet and rub her hands together when the Forbes’ door opened. Bonnie moved back a little behind the shrubbery that was her hiding place and watched the family walk to their car. Mr. Forbes was carrying nothing but a camera. Mrs. Forbes had a purse and a folding seat. Daniel Forbes, Caroline’s younger brother, had another seat. And Caroline…

Bonnie leaned forward, her breath hissing out in satisfaction. Caroline was dressed in jeans and a heavy sweater, and she was carrying some sort of white drawstring purse. Not big but big enough to hold a small diary.

Warmed by triumph, Bonnie waited behind the bush until the car drove away. Then she started for the corner of Thrush Street and Hawthorne Drive.

“There she is, Aunt Judith. On the corner.”