Lewis Carroll - Alice in Zombieland

She was alive! Not dead, like those things!

She felt her arms and legs and was so happy to be alive she could hardly speak. She touched her hair; none of its came away in her hands; and she could feel all her teeth in her mouth—none had fallen out after all!

‘Wake up, Alice!’ said her sister. ‘You dragged me out here so you could sleep for hours!’

‘Oh, I’ve had such a terrible dream!’ said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about, sobbing and shaking; and when she had finished, her sister sneered at her, and said, ‘Serves you right for hanging around graveyards like a creepy spider.’ Her sister began to turn away. ‘Let’s go! It’s cold out here and I want a meat pie and a nice cup of tea.’

So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a dreadful nightmare it had been, but already tasting the meat pie. She was so hungry! She would devour two, at least!

Her sister watched her run away with that nasty sneer still on her thin, cruel lips.

Alice and her stupid dreams.

How she hated the little brat! She had come along to ruin a good thing. Everything had been perfectly fine without a baby sister in her life. Now Mother and Father doted on the little brat and treated her second rate.

She sat thinking of Alice and her silly nightmare Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion.

Yes, the meat pie would be especially delicious and satisfying this afternoon, because—

The long grass rustled at her feet as a great Black Rat hurried by.

She snapped out a foot and stomped the nasty little thing until it was dead.

Yes, the meat pies would be wonderful today.

She wondered how long it would be before Alice, sweet, stupid little Alice, began to search for her kitten.

She left the graveyard, chuckling to herself.

After she disappeared in the distance, the cold wind moaned through the tombstones and weeds, whispered through the grass where the dead rat lay in a gory pool of its smashed innards and cooling blood. And after a moment, its whiskers began to twitch and quiver with renewed life. Its feet convulsed, scraping at the icy earth, digging little angry furrows and kicking dead leaves all around.

The Black Rat’s eyes popped open, bright and red with hungry fury.

Lewis Carrollwas born in 1832 and wrote many beloved works of fiction throughout his life. Among some of his most notable works are Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland , Through the Looking-Glass , and What Alice Found There , and The Hunting of the Snark . He died in 1898.

Nickolas Cooklives in the beautiful Southwestern desert with his wife and three hungry pugs. He is the author of The Black Beast of Algernon Wood , Paint it Black , A Kind of Blue and Baleful Eye . When he is not writing fiction, he is the editor-in-chief of The Black Glove Magazine , a free monthly online magazine devoted to horror culture and entertainment.