J. Gonzalez - Survivor

He took a deep breath, looked down at Lisa's suicide note, then at her grave. "Elizabeth's pregnant " he said, sobbing as he spoke those words. He was sobbing out of a mixture of pride and regret that it wasn't Lisa who was going to bear his child. "We're already past our first trimester, the hardest part. When we found out, I was so scared. I mean, I couldn't believe that it could happen, and it did, and I didn't want anything bad to happen, you know? So we kept quiet about it and hoped and prayed everything would be all right, and we're past the first hurdle. The last two ultrasounds we've heard a nice strong heartbeat." Tears blurred his vision. "We're gonna be okay."

The breeze died down. The sun felt warm on his face. Brad wiped the tears from his cheeks and thrust the suicide note into his pocket. He'd thought about destroying the note for the past few months; it was the only thing he had that represented that horrible time in his life. He had gotten rid of other personal things that brought the memories back to that fateful weekend, and even now he tended to avoid the news and he no longer enjoyed psychological thrillers the way he used to. He'd kept the note because he felt he still needed that connection with that part of his life, despite how awful it had been. He never wanted to forget it despite wanting to. He didn't want to forget it because he didn't ever want to forget Lisa.

Brad shuffled to his feet, brushed the grass off his jeans. He looked down at the grave sites, reflecting on Amanda and Alicia briefly, wishing them well and hoping they were at peace, hoping they knew that he loved them and would always love them. He straightened himself up and turned to Lisa's headstone, swallowing a dry lump. "I know I'll be back soon. My mom's still in Orange County and… well… she'll want to see her grandchild. Maybe someday… if it's okay… we can come up? If it's okay?"

A light breeze rustled the leaves of the oak trees and whispered over his hair, caressing him. Brad closed his eyes, feeling comforted in what he knew was her positive answer.

"I'll never forget you, Lisa," he said. "And I'll always love you. I love Elizabeth… I never thought I could love another woman, but you helped me to love her. You… helped me to see the beauty in life again. If it weren't for you, I never would have made it this far. This baby is as much yours as it is Elizabeth's and mine."

Brad smiled down at the headstone, feeling strong, feeling more pure and good than he had felt in years. "I'll be seeing you soon, honey. Be good to yourself, okay?"

Then he turned and walked back to his car and drove off to his new life.

J. F. GONZALEZ is the critically acclaimed author of several novels of horror and dark suspense, including Bully, The Beloved, Fetish, and Clickers (co-authored with Mark Williams). His short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies and magazines including Dark Arts, Shivers II, Shivers III, Hot Blood 12: Strange Bedfellows, The Asylum, and Black October Magazine, just to name a few, and some others are collected in the interlocking volumes Maternal Instinct and Old Ghosts and Other Revenants. He is currently working on his next novel. To learn more about his work, or to contact him, visit his Web site at www.jfgonzalez.com.