Yrsa Sigurðardóttir - I Remember You

With the papers in his lap and his phone in his hand he sat on the couch and tried to think of something useful to do while waiting. But he couldn’t think of anything, and despite all the caffeine he’d consumed he dozed off, starting several times when his chin dropped to his chest, though he always managed to make himself comfortable again and fall back to sleep. It wasn’t until his phone rang that he woke, annoyed with himself at having wasted his time. It was Dagný. ‘I’ve come across some information that will probably surprise you.’

‘Oh?’ Freyr couldn’t force himself to sound interested or alert, and she didn’t bother asking whether she’d woken him.

‘Úrsúla, that patient of yours who started talking about Benni, was in the same class as Bernódus, Halla and all the others. She wasn’t in the class photo; maybe she was off sick the day it was taken.’ Freyr sat up, his sluggishness vanished like dew in sunlight.

‘How did you find that out?’ Of course, of course. She was born in the same year, 1940, so it made sense that she’d gone to the same school, being a resident of Ísafjörður.

‘I finally got my hands on some old records from the school, which I searched for when the similarities between the break-ins at the primary school and the preschool became clear. There’s more: it seems that she and Bernódus were good friends. I found a report by the teacher in which she describes her surprise that Úrsúla had finally formed a close friendship; it appears that she was something of a social outcast. She’d probably been bullied by her classmates, but that’s not mentioned explicitly, since no one gave much thought to such things back then. The teacher’s statement is a bit brusque – harsh, even; she definitely sides with the class as a whole at the expense of the other two, who were obviously weaker personalities. It makes for very peculiar reading, and I didn’t feel particularly sorry about what happened to the teacher after I’d gone over it. But in any case, the connection between the two kids is clear.’

‘Is there any way I can have a look at it?’ Freyr rubbed his sore neck as he tried to imagine this. Úrsúla, the girl everyone loved to hate, forging a relationship with the new member of the class, who is also a weirdo, an outcast. ‘Do you know what usually happens in this kind of situation, when two children excluded by the remainder of the group join together?’

‘No, what?’

‘The group senses that there’s strength in not being completely isolated, and an unconscious decision is made to sever the bond between the two excluded individuals. It’s probably one of the most vicious forms of bullying, and those who experience it seldom or never repair their friendship afterwards.’

‘Are you suggesting that the kids killed Bernódus so that they could keep bullying Úrsúla?’

‘No, not necessarily. It’s just a very interesting angle. Finally something that connects all of this, and that might help me crack Úrsúla’s shell once she’s feeling more like talking.’

‘Should I drop by?’ Dagný asked, then sounded embarrassed, as if she feared he would read too much into her words. ‘I’m actually finished for the day; I worked a double shift yesterday and I’d rather not be here any longer than I have to, so it would make more sense for me to come over than for you to put yourself out by coming to the station.’

‘Sure, see you soon.’ Freyr hung up immediately, aware that he mustn’t waste any time if he were going to call the boy before Dagný arrived. He doubted she would approve of his methods. He dialled the number, his foot jiggling nervily as the line rang and rang. When he was almost convinced that he’d have to try again tomorrow, the phone was answered and a child’s voice greeted him. ‘Hello, is Heimir there?’ Freyr felt as if he were making a prank call.

‘Uh, yeah.’ The voice sounded surprised. ‘That’s me.’

‘Hello, Heimir. My name is Freyr, you might not remember me. I’m… I was… Benni’s dad. Do you remember Benni?’

‘Yeah.’ The boy was on his guard. ‘Why are you calling me?’

‘The police gave me some old reports to go over and I saw a little something in them that I wanted to ask you about. It’s nothing terrible and it should be easy for you to answer my questions. I don’t even have to come to your house, it’s such a small thing.’ Freyr was barely breathing. ‘Is that all right with you?’

‘Um, yeah. I don’t know.’

Freyr rushed on. ‘In the report it says that you hid behind the garage in the garden next to mine, so you didn’t see where Benni or some of the other kids went. Then you realized you were late for your cousin’s birthday party and left before you were found. Is that right?’

‘Yeah, I think so. I don’t remember really. It was a really long time ago.’

‘I know, but we should just assume that the police wrote down correctly what you said. But now two other kids say they also hid in the same garden; one says that he hid behind what he thought was a shed, and the other behind the bushes. They could see each other, but neither of them remembers seeing you. The thing is, that garden only has a garage, no shed. So either you were in the same hiding place as another boy, or somebody’s lying, or somebody remembered incorrectly. Which is it?’

‘Um… maybe I hid somewhere else. I’m not sure.’

‘Heimir.’ Freyr tried not to let anger get the better of him. ‘It’s all the same to me where you hid. I just want to know whether you have any idea of what happened to Benni. And I’m not concerned about why you didn’t tell us before; you were so little, and everyone can make mistakes. I won’t mention this conversation to anyone else and you’ll feel so, so much better if you tell the truth, exactly as it happened.’ Freyr drew a deep breath and calmed himself. There was little more he could say now; at least nothing that he could live with saying to a child. ‘Benni needs to be found, Heimir. He wants to be found, and I’m sure you want to ease your mind. At first you said that Benni wanted to hide in a submarine, didn’t you?’

‘Uh… uh…’ The boy sounded on the verge of tears. ‘You promise not to tell anyone… especially not my dad?’

When Dagný arrived, Freyr opened the door to her without saying a word, then turned and walked to the kitchen like a ghost, without checking whether she was following. He sat down at his laptop and resumed staring at the screen. ‘Is something wrong?’ said Dagný. She repeated the question, and Freyr finally found his voice.

‘Benni. I think I’ve found Benni.’ He kept staring at the screen. ‘In a manner of speaking.’

‘What do you mean?’ Dagný’s tone suggested that she thought he’d lost it. ‘He ended up here. Just out of frame. You can’t see him.’ Freyr pointed at the edge of the laptop’s screen, where it met the black plastic casing. Dagný went over to him and bent down to see what he was talking about. She raised her eyebrows when she saw the freeze-framed image of the petrol station forecourt. The car Freyr had hit was visible in the lower right-hand corner. ‘Unfortunately, I don’t know what became of this car or its driver.’

‘In other words, you think Benni ended up in this car? Was he kidnapped by the driver? How do you work that out?’ Dagný was extremely calm, as if speaking to an inebriated member of the public who needed to be calmed down.

‘He didn’t get in the car, and I don’t think the driver did anything to him.’ Freyr was struggling to find the right words. ‘But if I could find him, I would find Benni.’

Dagný peered more closely at the screen. ‘Move,’ she said gruffly, taking Freyr’s seat as he obediently stood up. She fiddled with the keyboard a bit, enlarging the part of the image that showed the cars. At first Freyr thought she was going to try to read the licence plate number, which he’d tried to do many times, but before he could say anything she turned to him, frowned, and said: ‘I know all about this car. And nearly everything about the driver.’ She held his gaze. ‘Unfortunately, we believe him to be dead.’