Jeff Jacobson - Foodchain

Theo roared across the field, through the back yard, passing a sweating, trembling Fairfax. He stood in a hole up to his waist, watching the Jeep with an open mouth. They hit the front yard and the long driveway and kept going, but it was too late. The tiger had slipped away. Theo kept going, tearing down the road.

In the distance, Frank recognized the giant satellite dish of the Glouck’s and the little gas station where he had first stopped and realized they were almost in town.

“Shit!” Theo said and slapped the steering wheel, imitating his father.

“Watch your language,” Sturm said. “We’ll get it. Everyone keep their eyes peeled. Can’t be far.”

Frank was wondering, if you were mayor, how you would explain losing a goddamn tiger in the middle of town after you intentionally set it loose when he saw the big cat casually lope across the highway and slip into the Glouck’s back yard.

Pine saw it too. “There!” he shouted, pointing. Theo made the Jeep stand up and dance, shooting straight across the field, plowing straight through the tumbleweeds and starthistles. Frank had one moment take on a crystalline quality, frozen into eternity, as if he was outside himself, watching a still photograph as they burst through the aluminum gate. The metal popped with a surprised twang and the Jeep shot across the soft asphalt of the gas station. He caught a glimpse of the woman with the red hair behind the counter staring at the Jeep with an open mouth. Her expression was somewhere between terror and ecstasy.

Frank grinned as he realized that the hunters had just made the woman’s day. Hell, seeing the Jeep tear across the valley, chock full of men and guns, chasing after a genuine tiger, that probably gave her enough fodder for a entire month, maybe even a whole year worth of gossip.

They raced down the alley behind the Glouck’s house, but couldn’t see anything. Behind them, the dead tree stood empty and abandoned, like a playground jungle gym after recess. The tiger must have been still running, still moving fast. Sturm sat rigid in the passenger seat, rifle upright at his left side. His right hand floated in the air, flicking in subtle, minute directions. Theo followed his father’s gestures, making the Jeep gallop down narrow alleyways, sliding through intersections, following a striped shadow that flitted through the empty yards and barren streets.

The chase was eerily quiet. No one in the Jeep actually heard the engine or the squealing tires. They focused only on the breathing of the animal, watching it as close as they could through binoculars or their scopes, those hypnotizing stripes pulsing in and out.

* * * * *

The tiger bounded out into the afternoon sunlight and wide pavement of First Street. It stuttered to a stop, as if confused by the vast open space. It turned south, loped down the sidewalk in the shade, and paused a moment, slinking into the recessed entrance to the First Bank of Whitewood.

Theo hit the brakes with both feet and the Jeep slid to a stop in a squeal of burning rubber in the middle of Main Street. Sturm hopped out, ran low, across the street and crouched between two parked cars. Sturm held the Ballard single-shot tight across his chest, ready to snap it into his shoulder, hunting a real goddamn tiger through his hometown.

He rose and scurried across the intersection, moving northeast, and crouched behind the yellow Sacramento Bee newspaper box and the northwestern light post.

When the tiger saw Sturm, it was already too late. The tiger hissed, a low, awful sound, and bolted out of the entrance, instantly going down on its chest and stomach, tail falling limp when it hit the sunlight, as if it had given up. But instead of freezing and surrendering, the cat collected itself, drawing the legs in, getting down, suddenly springing forward, not fleeing anymore, but attacking, launching itself straight at Sturm.

Sturm was ready. He pulled the rifle in snug, tracking the cat for a half second. The tiger crossed the street in an eye blink. Sturm exhaled, squeezed the trigger gently, and put a single bullet through the tiger’s chest.

It went down, rolling over itself and flopping to a stop in front of the post office. Sturm jacked the empty cartridge out into the gutter, slammed a new one into place. He watched the cat intently for nearly a full minute before he straightened, resting the rifle across the back of his shoulders. He turned back to the jeep, a huge grin splitting the dark shadows under his cowboy hat, not much taller than the newspaper box next to him. “You boys get that BBQ fired up soon as possible. We got a tiger to grill.”

And then it was all over, except for the picture taking.

* * * * *

They arranged the tiger in the middle of Main street, laid along the middle of the street, facing east as if following the double yellow lines, rifles crossed over the striped orange and black back in an X of firepower. Sturm kneeled on one side, hand on the tiger’s head between the ears, Theo on the other side. The clowns stood behind them, with more rifles resting on hips and shoulders, post office and bank off to the right, and the park off to the left.

Frank volunteered to take the picture, but Sturm insisted Frank needed to be right up front. “Hell, wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be here.”

They got the taxidermist to take the picture. He’d walked out of his storefront, arms already loaded with supplies. Apparently, he’d been watching the final moments of the hunt. He was an old guy, with long white hair, wearing clean overalls and a starched white shirt so stiff he probably just propped it in a corner at night. It was buttoned straight up to the top button at the neck, heat be damned. He had a beard and if anything, it was whiter than the shirt, just so wiry and twisted you’d think it was pubic hair.

First he propped a wedge of Styrofoam under the tiger’s chin, lifting the head so it looked as if the tiger was looking into the camera lens. Then he slid a few wooden matchsticks into the mouth, opening it slightly. A couple balls of sticky tar anchored the lips above the canines in a listless snarl.

“Say cheese,” he said, his voice high and quivering, like the sound a handsaw makes when you hit it with a hammer. Everybody put on their best hunting face, as if they wanted to smile, but the business at hand was just too goddamn serious. The taxidermist snapped off three quick pictures and said, “Congratulations.”

“Outstanding,” Sturm said.

Chuck and Pine went to fetch Chuck’s truck, parked at the fairgrounds.

Sturm stood over the tiger, cowboy hat throwing his face into shadow. He said to the taxidermist, “Let’s butcher this old boy, I’m looking forward to tiger steaks, all right. But let’s save the hide, them teeth too. Hell, I want the whole skull intact, if possible.”

“Would you like the head preserved, so it can be hung upon a wall?” The taxidermist inquired politely, as if he was asking how Sturm wanted his shirts ironed. “Or I can leave the head connected…make a mighty fine rug.”

Sturm shook his head. “No. I want the hide preserved, yes. But what I really want is just the skull, with the teeth intact, mind you, so I can keep it on my desk. No hide, no nothing. Just teeth and bone.”

The taxidermist nodded and Frank was afraid that the beard might create sparks when it hit the starched shirt. The man said, “Of course. The teeth shall remain within the skull. I’ll wire the jaw shut, and yes, you will have a very nice desk ornament.”

Frank and Sturm dragged the tiger over to the Jeep. It took all four of them, Frank, Sturm, Theo, and the taxidermist to manage to lift the cat up onto the back of the Jeep. They tied a rope to the back legs and anchored them to the roll bar, so the animal was nearly upside down, with the head and neck draped over the side. Sturm let Theo slit the animal’s throat. Frank was glad they were taking care of the tiger right away; he didn’t want Theo getting at this one out back behind the barn.