S. Welles - To Ocean's End

It was my fault they needed saving in the first place. I couldn’t bring myself to say “you’re welcome.” I didn’t bother with expressing how horrible I felt either. He didn’t want to hear it and I didn’t want to spread my misery. “How many died?”

Sam squeezed my shoulder and bowed his head. “Around four hundred. The tsunami killed more people than the sea monsters. The latter seemed more interested in razing everything in sight than killing. Whatever you did to send the water into the sky bought thousands of people time. Not enough to save everyone, but a goodly amount. But don’t you worry about that. Newport is being rebuilt, as you can see. It’s gonna come back better than before. No more patch jobs.”

“We lost houses older than me, Sam. So much history got washed away.”

“All things turn to dust. It hurts sometimes, but it’s the way of the world. Nothing’s permanent, except change.”

I knew he was right, so I went quiet. I didn’t want to agree with him. I was too heartsore over the loss of my home and the pieces of history. They’d let me know I wasn’t the oldest thing on this planet that was a part of humanity. And now they were gone while I remained.

Sam led me down dirt streets that had been smoothed out and labeled with new signs. I had a feeling I knew where he was taking me, and I turned out to be right when we stopped at a plot where my childhood home used to stand. In its place stood the beginnings of another home with the same exact structure. Through the network of two-by-fours, I spotted a long table covered in a cloth. Surrounding that table was the crew and the smell of breakfast. Pancakes.

“Surprise, Captain,” Sam said, gesturing to the beginnings of the house. “We helped start getting your house rebuilt once the Pertinacious and crew were all patched up. Your new home is gonna look just like the old one.”

I drew a blank as how to react. So much kindness and help. Everyone moving forward like the devastation had been only a minor speed bump. I walked over to the corner of the skeleton of the house, and rubbed the fresh lumber. The water had been pumped out of the basement. There was nothing in there, not even sand. Every last scrap of my past had been swallowed by the sea. I stared numbly, at a loss for what to do, think, or feel.

“All things turn to dust. C’mon.” Sam led me to the back yard and the enthusiastic chatter died down as they all looked at me. O’Toole ran over, gibbering away, and locked me in a bear hug. I blinked a few times, then pried him off. He smacked a kiss on my cheek, then started gibbering away in his nonsensical speech. I wiped my cheek with a sleeve, a half-smile on my face and a small lump in my throat. If he could still like me after all that crap, maybe there was room for redemption after all. “You are one weird ship idiot, O’Toole,” I said in a thick voice. He lunged for another hug and kiss but, thankfully, I caught him by the arms in time.

Sam said, “Stop that, O’Toole! Once is enough.” The Irishman gibbered some more as he scurried back to the table.

The rest of the crew lined up to welcome me. I got bombarded with hugs and warm welcomes, and a dual ass-grab from Ed and Ted. They laughed at my yelp. I was happy to have such a warm greeting after all the crap we went through, but I just didn’t feel like I deserved any of it. On top of that, I was still absorbing the loss of my home.

Mido hugged and welcomed me after the techies. “No quiche this morning. Hope you don’t mind.”

“No. I’m just glad you’re alive and have chosen to stick around.” If I didn’t have my crew with me right now, I would’ve broken beyond repair.

“Can’t get rid of us that easily.”

He had one leg in a knee brace, and the other in an ankle brace. “How on earth are you on your feet right now?”

“Good pain killers,” he said, then stepped back for the next crew member to welcome me. Jessie.

What little happiness I’d gained vanished. I lost my wan smile, too. She looked whole and hale but lost her smile when our eyes met. Her face mirrored the sorrow weighing my heart down. She stood before me, eyes glistening. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes stung. The one person who’d tried so hard to help me lift my curse, just to fail. I caressed her cheek with a finger, just like after we’d escaped the sea monster that’d chased us that day. She slipped her arms under mine and hugged me, resting her head on my shoulder. I broke down, wrapped her in a tight hug, and fought a lost battle against a flood of tears. “I’m sorry,” I said in a thick whisper. “I’m so sorry. For everything I’ve put you through.” She hugged me tighter and I felt her shudder with tears of her own. “I’ve been so blind to how she felt about me. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for this.”

“No, I do. You’ve all been trying to help me lift my curse so I can live the rest of my days in peace as pure human. I’ve been trying so hard to lift it just so I can die. Instead, so many innocent people I’ve cared about died for my selfishness. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.” We stood there and cried silent tears. I couldn’t move or loosen my hug. I wanted to curl up in a dark hole and cry, but Jessie’s company saved me from hurting alone.

Jessie pulled back and ran a hand through my hair, then cupped my tear-stained cheek. “No apology necessary, Dyne Lavere,” she said in a resonant voice that wasn’t her own. She stepped back, blinked a few times, then the real Jessie looked at me, eyes wide and mouth ajar. Her tearful gaze shifted to over my shoulder. She gasped. So did the rest of my crew.

I spun around. A ten-foot-tall Amphitrite sat astride a kelpie twice as big as a clydesdale, golden mane and brilliant white coat gleaming, despite the fog. The kelpie bent a knee and Amphitrite slid off with the grace only a goddess could muster. It looked more like she floated to the ground, then landed on her bare feet with the lightest of touches.

Head bowed, I walked over to her, stopping once I saw the kelpie’s hooves. “Just take me. I give up.”

“No,” she said gently.

I looked up. What did—?

“I still love you but no. It is I who has gone too far all this time.” Amphitrite lowered to one knee, bring herself eye-level with me.

She’d… she’d never done anything less than look down on me before. I could do nothing but watch in open confusion. She wore the same heartbroken expression Jessie had, but she was also smiling as tears rolled down her cheeks. She really didn’t hate me after all. Even after what I’d done with Rhode. She’d let go of it now that I’d let go of getting cursed.

“Both you and my avatar have opened my eyes to many things. I have much to do from this day forward. I’ve been living in denial for so long, but when you killed Tethys, I could no longer deny the truth. I felt nothing when I forced you to make love to me, nothing but the void in my heart I’ve been trying to fill. And then I felt regret as you broke under my scorn. I’ve gone too far. Much too far. I will always love, but from afar from now on.”

“I’m sorry.” I truly felt sorry for her. Shortly after waking in her bed, I’d developed a hunch she’d been using me to fill an emotional void, and it hadn’t gone well. It sucked falling in love with someone who had no desire to reciprocate. It’d happened to me many times.

“Don’t be. I brought it upon myself. I’ve even tried to force you to love me, yet all our times together can’t compare to the pure joy and emotion those two share with each other.” She gestured to Mido and Jessie. “I’ve been living a false life, but now I know what I must do to fix it, starting with you.” Her voice tightened. “This day is bittersweet. Dyne Lavere, I free you from your curse.”