S. Welles - To Ocean's End

I looked up at the black hole in the cenote. Creatures lines the walls, all of them looking down at me.

One of them said, “Demon pet go back. Mistress waiting for you.”

My heart sank anew. She’d broken me like she’d promised. I had no will left to fight anymore. I didn’t want to deal with her for a long time. I’d rather quietly accept my curse for a while than have any interaction with her.

I swam to shore and heaved myself out of the water. The nereids created a pathway to the wall. I gave them a suspicious look.

“She waits.”

“No tricks?” I asked.

“No tricks,” it said with a shake of its head. Others echoed the declaration. None of them cackled. Instead, they fell silent again.

My hopes wanted to rise but I refused to let them get dashed again. I more tiptoed than walked to the vine-covered wall and touched it. They didn’t taunt or attack, or anything; just watched on as others cleared a path up to the opening. I looked around one more time, then, seeing no reason to just stand there, made my way up. I climbed steadily, not enthusiastic about escaping. It was just something I had to do. I was prepared to go demon if I had to. I wasn’t entirely sure they were going to leave me alone, half expecting them to attack at the last second right before I could make good on my escape.

When I had just a few feet to go, I paused. The entire cenote splayed out before me, all of them looking up and watching on. I gazed into the void, which looked like a starless night without clouds, and climbed into it.

I came to inside the pitch black of my lockdown container and took a few minutes to orient myself back to reality. I was lying on a cot sticky with probably my own blood. My body was whole again, and I was tired from the repair process my curse had made my body undergo. I sat up and my head started pounding in my temples, probably from dehydration. I winced as I got up and felt my way to the food hatch, and found a jug of electrolyte water and a box of crackers. I hesitated. I wasn’t hungry or thirsty, but if I didn’t give myself sustenance, I would die again, just to be revived again. I drank the water, started feeling thirsty, then guzzled it down until I felt hydrated enough. I opened a sleeve of crackers, then sat down and ate mechanically. They tasted bland. I ate until my brain said I’d had enough, and then I just sat there in total darkness and quiet, ruminating.

Some time later, someone knocked on the container door. I got up and walked over. “I’m back,” I said just loud enough to be heard. I didn’t want to talk, but I owed my visitor a response.

“Welcome back at last, Captain,” Rammus said. “You’ve been gone a long month.”

“How many left?”

“No one quit. We’re all here, all alive.”

I fell silent. I didn’t know how to react to having retained my entire crew. How could they possibly want to be anywhere me after all that?

“You have four more days of lockdown, by the way.”

“How’s the crew holding up?”

“Well on the mend. Just a lot of scabs, bruises, and mending bones left over. Mido had a collapsed lung but it’s fine now. We had to go to Providence to find a hospital so everyone could get taken care of, even Cancer. That was funny watching him boss around the RN trying to tend to his injuries.”

How was he so light and jovial already? All those injuries because of my own stupidity and obstinance. “I’m sorry.” I bowed my head, my heart aching.

Rammus fell silent a moment. “No apologizing, Captain. You sound really down, so I’m gonna leave you be for the next four days. Collect yourself and find your inner strength again. That’s an order from your second-in-command. We’ll have a nice long talk as a crew after lockdown.”

I walked away in silence. What could I say? My crew—I shouldn’t even call them that anymore—had ample reason to hate me. Come the end of lockdown, it would be high time to hand the Pertinacious and crew over to Rammus. He’d taken good care of everyone and everything. No more sucking people into my cursed life. As for how I’d live out however many more centuries in solitude, I’d worry about that once all business affairs were taken care of.

For the next four days, I ate when meals were sent up to me, towel bathed clean what I could feel, and slept when I couldn’t stay awake anymore to ruminate. I didn’t sleep well at all though. My mind was too full of racing thoughts, and I felt like a beaten dead horse, one that’d been revived to be beaten again.

On the dawn of the day I was let out by Rammus, I caught a quick a quick glimpse of Newport before drifting below deck. They were rebuilding… because of me, they had to rebuild from the ground up. Rammus took one look at me and didn’t say a word. He just put on his serious, no-crap face and led me to the showers.

I cleaned up and took in the puzzle-work of scars covering me head to toe. I’d been bitten and slashed so much. My face was okay, though. I had both eyes, a complete nose, and all my teeth, but I looked like I’d been bitten by a small shark a few times, along with been raked in the neck. My face would stop people, and not for its handsomeness.

Once I was done getting accustomed to my updated appearance, I put on fresh clothes and new boots. Sam had also left me a brand new trench coat hung up on my locker door. I took it off the hanger and looked at it, felt the material, smelled its newness, then sighed and put it on. I didn’t have a good excuse not to. It fit comfortably at least.

Suited up, I headed for the galley. No one was in there and it looked like the place was missing a few items. I couldn’t place what was missing, but I knew for a fact that it was emptier than usual. I chalked it up to whatever took place during the last month and stood before the tin of coffee sitting on a note on the table. I picked up the coffee and read the note, then headed to the stern, as it instructed. My feet carried me there without me really making the decision to head on deck. I felt more like going to my bunk, curling up and just sleeping away the next few years, but maybe I’d do that in the hole that was now my home in Newport.

There was no one wandering around the deck. The air was humid and fog hung low overhead, an appropriately depressing atmosphere to match my mood. No one sat in the wheelhouse, but Sam stood by the stern ladder. He waved me over. I took a sip of coffee I knew tasted wonderful, yet couldn’t seem to enjoy. Everything I did felt habitual, mechanical, automatic. I was existing, instead of living. Sam looked overjoyed to see me. I tried to put on at least a neutral face, but the sight of Newport buried all positive emotions. There were steam-powered machinery scooting all around town, which had been cleaned up a lot. On top of that, wooden skeletons of buildings were everywhere. They were rebuilding already. The sight brought both joy and sorrow.

“Mornin’, Captain,” Sam said lightly.

I really didn’t want him to call me Captain anymore. “Morning. What’s with the note?”

“The whole crew’s got a surprise for you. It should help put you back in a good mood.”

“What kind of surprise?” I wasn’t in the mood for surprises, but I didn’t want to drag Sam’s mood down with me.

“Come find out.” He waved for me to follow him, then headed down the ladder.

I took a few more sips off coffee, then set the tin on the deck and disembarked.

Once my new boots touched the brand new dock, Sam wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I smelled fresh-cut lumber mixed with salt air. I stuck my hands in my coat and let Sam guide me inland, eyes on the ground.

“The navy called in disaster relief. All the branches are here, cleaning up, rebuilding, and making sure everyone gets healed up and fed. The locals are giving out food, too. Say they’ll reinstall the market once everyone’s back on their feet. It’s amazing how humanity comes together in times like this. Brings tears to my eyes. Shows us all how innately good we really are. By the way, the landies you saved that day want to extend their thanks to yeh. And I wanna say thank you for saving my family as well, Captain. You saved the most important part of home.”