Jason Morrow - Anywhere but Here

I get a sick feeling in my stomach at the sight of Skip’s injury. No, not injury . More like death sentence . To be bitten is to be killed in a slow and painful way. He seems to be weaponless, and Gabe complains that he’s already down to the last of his bullets.

“There shouldn’t have been that many greyskins in there,” he says as he takes aim at another greyskin.

I don’t know what to think. All I do is keep firing. Firing, firing, firing until I’m completely out of bullets. I’m thankful to see that Paxton and Mendez didn’t completely abandon us, rather they take aim from the safety of the SUV in clear view of us, but then their guns are silent.

“We’re out!” comes the voice of Mendez. A few of the greyskins turn toward him as he yells.

Six are coming toward us, four are going after Paxton and Mendez. Gabe takes down two more greyskins and declares he’s out of ammo too.

“Some planning,” I say to him. “Why didn’t you pack more ammo?”

“There weren’t supposed to be this many!”

I roll my eyes at him. As the greyskins move closer, I know what I’ve got to do. I reach down for my backpack and unzip the top. My hand clasps around the silver handle of the pistol I stole from Paxton.

Nine bullets, eight greyskins. Little room for error.

A sudden surge of confidence washes over me as I stand, proudly declaring that I was the one to break into Headquarters as I lift the gun into the air.

Boom! A greyskin’s head splits open. Boom! Boom! Boom! The shots are so loud, and the recoil is hard, but I don’t miss a single shot. I start walking forward as the greyskins that were headed for Paxton and Mendez suddenly turn toward me. I walk within two feet of them and their heads explode like fruit as I let off two shots.

One bullet left.

I’m left standing in the middle of the street with the others staring at me. Paxton gets out of the SUV, his eyes squinting as he moves forward. I think about it for only a brief second. I’m not sure what his intentions are, but if they are bad, I can end him. All I need is one bullet. He knows the sound, the feel, the weight of this gun. He knows I still have one bullet left. I try not to look him in the eyes as he approaches me, but he doesn’t acknowledge me at all. He watches my eyes until he walks past me, and he ends his walk when he stops in front of Skip.

Gabe looks up at Paxton. “It’s a bite,” he says.

“You know I can’t let you into Crestwood,” Paxton tells Skip.

Skip doesn’t look at him, but nods. “I understand.”

Paxton cracks his neck, looking away from him as though he is contagious simply by looking at him. His eyes fall back on me and he walks to me this time. He reaches out his hand and asks for the gun even though he never opens his mouth. I look down at the ground and hand it to him. I don’t know if he wants to shoot me with it or if he will take me back to Crestwood. There is no way for me to tell. Gun in hand, he walks over to Skip.

“You’ve got about twenty-four hours until the infection kills you,” he says coldly. He hands Skip the gun and Skip takes it, looking at it as though it is the end of him. It is the end of him. “Miss Remi here has stolen this gun from me and left you a bullet. Do with it as you wish. You were a good soldier, Skip.” Paxton turns from him and begins walking back to the SUV. He stops when he nears me and looks deep into my eyes. “I’m not surprised, you know.”

“I know you aren’t,” I say. “I will be on my way. I don’t have to come back with you.”

“You’re coming back,” Paxton says as he walks away from me. I look back at Gabe who is sitting on the ground next to Skip. He shrugs at me and shakes his head.

“What about Skip?” Gabe calls out.

Skip shakes his head. “Leave me here,” he says. “I know what I got to do, I’d rather none of you be here to see it.”

I feel sick on the inside. It’s hard for me to see Paxton act so cold, but I feel just as cold. I don’t want Skip to die, but to me, he’s dead already. Once bitten, you’re gone. There is nothing to be done.

Gabe does his best to console Skip, but Skip actually shoves him away and screams for us to leave. With our heads down, Gabe and I get into the back of the SUV as Mendez drives and Paxton sits up front. I try not to look at Skip as we drive away. I try not to think about what Paxton is going to say to me when we get back — the punishment that I’m going to face. It’s a couple of miles down the road before I hear the noise. It’s too far away for anyone else in the silent car to hear, but I can hear it as clearly as if I am standing right next to him.

Skip pulls the trigger, ending his life before the virus does it to him. It’s the same story I’ve seen too many times. Do I think this world will ever heal?

No.

Healing comes in death alone.

What Paxton calls a holding cell is more like a room with a large, thick door and a padlock on the other side of it to keep in prisoners. Gabe leads me to the room without saying a word. I don’t blame him for not talking. I don’t say anything either. There is nothing to say.

At least I’m not cuffed. The almost empty, windowless room is lit by harsh, white incandescent lights. An ominous single chair waits for me at the other end. I walk to it without having to be told. Gabe stands at the door, his eyes hanging on me.

“You don’t have to say anything, Gabe.”

He lets out a sigh. “Why did you bring the gun?”

“Same reason you didn’t bring enough ammunition,” I come back. “Poor judgement.”

His eyes are fixed on me firmly now, but I’m the one to turn away.

“I don’t want you to take the fall,” I say. “There’s no reason for both of us to be punished.”

“I never asked you to do it,” he says.

My head jerks to him and I can feel my neck and cheeks getting hot. He had basically asked me to break into Headquarters for him. “You didn’t exactly protest my offer when I made it.”

“I was afraid this was going to happen,” he says. “I just didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to bring the gun.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting Paxton to come along, was I?”

Gabe shakes his head. “I wasn’t either.”

“What’s going to happen next?”

Gabe shrugs. “I’m sure the elders are going to talk it over. You might be sent away. I don’t know. Paxton isn’t a terrible man, he’s just untrusting. If he thinks he can’t trust you, he’s not going to want you here at all.”

“Will they at least let me tell my side of the story?” I ask.

His face seems to lose color for a minute.

“I’m not talking about mentioning Shadowface,” I say. “Just that I really want my weapons back.”

“I don’t know if they will let you talk. You’ve already incriminated yourself. You did break into Headquarters and steal the gun. Regardless of your reasons, you are guilty in their eyes.”

Gabe was right. They were going to throw me to the dogs and there was nothing I could do about it. He stands in the doorway for a few more moments. I want to tell him to go away, that our friendship isn’t so deep that he should feel as guilty as he does. I’ll find my way. I’ll take whatever Paxton and his elders give me. Finally, Gabe says that he will keep me updated, and turns to leave.

“I’m sorry about Skip,” I say. It sounds half-hearted but I mean it. No one deserves to end like that.

Gabe stalls for a moment as if he wants to say more, then he closes the door behind him, locking it securely.

The room is silent but for my steady breathing. I’m not scared. There is no reason to be now. Being locked away in a room keeps me safe from the greyskins. I’m safer in here than on the outside — at least, for now I am.