Jason Morrow - Anywhere but Here

It’s just like me to do something stupid like this. It’s just like me to feel the need to take a stolen gun and then use it. It’s been three months since I killed a greyskin. Seeing them surrounding us like they did…I just couldn’t handle it. When I ran out of ammo, I had no other choice but to pull out the gun. In fact, wasn’t it smart that I brought the gun? Didn’t I save my life? Our lives?

Throughout the next few hours I try to focus my hearing in every direction possible. I close my eyes in deep concentration, doing my best to locate the second floor of the headquarters building. I’ve found that the longer I’ve stayed at a place, the better I am at locating sounds. If I’m unfamiliar, I can’t determine the direction of the noise nearly as well. The only problem is that now I hear nothing. Paxton’s meeting with the elders hasn’t started, or it’s taking place somewhere else.

I let my senses dull and stare down at the cold, blank floor in front of me, unsure of how I came to this. Immediately, I know… I stole from Paxton, but in a way, I also stole from Crestwood. How had I gone from a fun-loving, college party girl to a rifle-wielding, greyskin-stabbing, cold girl? But I know I’m not unique. There are a million like me. Unless they’re dead.

I had been well-liked in my former life. I had many friends, but none of them close. I guess even before all this greyskin stuff started, I kept people at a distance. I never had much of a relationship with my family, especially my parents. It’s something that I feel like I should regret, but knowing that they are all dead, I don’t see the point in it. Part of me knows I should have been closer to them all, but another part of me feels relieved that I had been distant for so long. It made it easier to swallow the fact that all of them were probably eaten and gone. I try not to think about the possibility that they still roam the world, turning more of their victims into mindless creatures just like themselves.

I’ve been truly close to only two people in my life…both of them are probably gone forever. I can feel the tears start to sting my eyes so I shake my head as though to fling the thoughts away.

I focus my hearing again, doing my best to erase all the extra noise throughout Crestwood. This time, I can hear noises on the second floor of Headquarters. I think I hear four distinct voices, Paxton not among them. I haven’t been around many of the elders much, but I have heard each of them speak before and I know what they look like. There’s Lillian, the only woman out of the five elders. Then there’s Gavin. He’s a small man who wears glasses and sniffs a lot when he talks as though he has an allergy. Kenneth is the country type that likes to wear flannel and boots. He has a deeper voice than all the others. Avery used to be a medical doctor. I can picture him now as he talks, his white beard moving up and down with every word. Then there’s Paxton, but he doesn’t seem to be present with the others yet.

“But we ain’t scheduled to be here ’til tomorrow,” Kenneth says.

“Robert called us here,” Lillian chides.

“Did we find out who broke in then?” Gavin says in his mousy voice. Sniff.

“Robert will tell us when he gets here,” Lillian says. I haven’t talked to her much, but I can see her looking down her pointed nose at the others sitting at the table on the second floor. To me she always seemed like the type to be very proud to be an elder, thus taking a non-official leadership role, second only to Robert himself. I had never heard anyone call Paxton Robert before Lillian. It seems too personal.

There are footsteps coming down the stairs from the third floor. The door opens, and Avery is the first to speak.

“You mind telling us what this is about, Paxton?”

I hear Paxton move to the table and finally take his seat before answering anyone. I can imagine they are staring at him with confused looks on their faces, wondering what could be so dire that they would need to interrupt their day for an elder meeting.

“We lost a man today,” Paxton says. A couple of gasps float up in the air, most notably from Lillian, who I’m sure is sitting right next to him.

“Who?” I think Kenneth asks.

“Skip,” Paxton answers. “I was out there with the team going to Sturgis.”

“I’m assuming then that we didn’t get the town cleared?” someone asks.

There is no audible reply, but Paxton probably shakes his head. “We’ll do the normal ceremony bull crap that we usually do, but that’s not why I called the meeting.” A beat. “I’ve found the culprit. Some of you might know her. She calls herself Remi.”

“I know her,” Lillian says. “I thought she was the one. Ever since I laid eyes on her I knew she would be trouble.”

My jaw clenches when she talks. Lillian has barely even said hello to me, how could she have pegged me as a lawbreaker?

“How did you find out?” Gavin asks.

“I found the gun on her,” Paxton says.

“Have you questioned her about it?”

“Didn’t need to. She offered no explanation. She didn’t try to deny anything. She’s the one. I’m bringing this up because we have to figure out what to do about it.”

“This is the first time we’ve caught someone stealing,” Avery says.

“It cannot be taken lightly,” Lillian agrees.

“So,” Paxton says, “what do we do? It’s not like we have written laws about what we do with thieves. We have no judges, juries, or lawyers.”

“This is why I’ve been urging us to come up with laws,” Avery says, obviously irritated. “How many times have I mentioned this? If we have set laws, we don’t even have to meet. We will know what needs to be done.”

“But you open up a whole can of worms along with it, Avery,” Kenneth says. “Do we let the people decide the laws? Do we decide the laws for them? How bad do we punish somebody? What about the different degrees of theft? Killing? It’s not as simple as saying, anyone who steals must have their hand cut off. What if they were taking something they thought was theirs? What Paxton says is right, it’s not like what it used to be.”

“So, we just let these things go unpunished?” Avery says.

“Of course not,” Paxton says. “Why do you think I’ve called all of you in? We are here to decide what to do with Remi. This isn’t a meeting about writing new laws.”

There is a hush in the room. It’s uncomfortable and I don’t like it. I wish I could see in there, though I know I don’t have to. My imagination shows that Avery is stroking his white beard, while Kenneth’s knees move up and down rapidly. Gavin probably stares at the table, too afraid to voice his own opinion. Lillian stares dutifully at Paxton, waiting for him to ask her what her opinion is, but Paxton ignores her, staring straight ahead until someone else talks first.

Finally, Kenneth speaks. “Well, what I said about cutting off her hand ain’t a bad idea.”

“This isn’t the Middle Ages, Kenneth,” Gavin says, finding the courage to confront the large man. Sniff. “Don’t be ignorant. The people won’t like it. It’s barbaric.”

“Maybe,” Paxton says, “but I’m not ruling out anything. Sometimes even the smallest crime should warrant a big consequence. The bigger the consequence, the less likely one is to repeat one’s actions.”

“What are you saying?” Avery asks.

“Killing her,” Kenneth says. I can almost hear the smile in his tone.

“I’m just saying it’s on the table,” Paxton says.

I feel my gut lurch. I expected the talk of banishment. I even accepted Kenneth’s ridiculous notion of chopping off my hand, but killing me? Has our world changed so much that people would kill someone for stealing such a simple thing as a gun? It’s not like I took the gun and killed someone with it. Arguably, I even saved Paxton’s life with the gun. He should be thanking me, not suggesting that I die for my crimes.