Emmy Laybourne - Savage Drift

Nurse Kiyoko wrote a prescription on a pad. I thought only doctors could do that, but maybe things were different in Canada.

“Vitamin D. This will help.”

Around this moment we heard a shrill voice yelling outside the tents. A kid.

“I will just check dilation, next, mmph,” Kiyoko continued, but we hardly heard her.

“Astrid?” came the voice outside the tent. Jesus, it was Chloe. “Astrid? Dean? Where are you?”

She had to be right outside the tent.

“Chloe! What’s wrong?” I yelled.

What had happened? My heart was up in my throat in an instant.

“Where are you?” I shouted.

“Where are you ?!” Chloe snapped back.

I stepped out of the curtain in the main passage of the tent and saw her pass by outside the open door. She had something in her hand.

“Chloe!” I yelled.

She stepped in, pushing right past the nurse in fatigues.

“Oh my God, guess what?!” she gushed. “We’re FAMOUS! Like really, really famous!”

Chloe held up a newspaper.

“Alex wrote a letter to a newspaper and they printed it and it tells our whole story, about how close we were to NORAD and everything!” She glanced at Kiyoko. “Hi.”

There was a slugline reading: THE MONUMENT 14.

“That’s really cool,” I tried to cover. “We’ll read it all together with the others back at the tent. We’re in the middle of something here—”

Chloe didn’t even hear me. She barreled on.

“Look, it’s all about us and how we made it from Monument to Denver and about Mrs. Wooly and everything. Astrid, look, here’s the part about you.”

Chloe pointed to a paragraph.

“Now’s not the time,” Astrid said. She pulled her shirt down, getting the gel all over it.

I helped her off the table.

Kiyoko took the newspaper from Chloe.

“But it tells our whole story! About the compounds and the black cloud and how the others went to Denver in a bus and came back for us. And now anyone can find us. Everyone can know where we are!” Chloe exclaimed. “It’s how our parents will find us!”

“Let’s go read it outside,” I said. I took the paper from Nurse Kiyoko. “Thanks again for everything.”

She looked pissed.

“Lying to a nurse is very bad,” Kiyoko said sternly. “Pregnant women, exposed to compounds, need special care.”

I grabbed Astrid’s arm and steered her away from her.

“I don’t need special care. I’m fine,” Astrid said.

We were at the door to the tent now.

“You guys! You should be happy!” Chloe complained, trailing behind us. “I thought you’d be psyched.”

“Wait!” Kiyoko called. She turned around and called for the other nurse. “You need to tell me the truth! And we need to do some tests.”

We sped away from the medical tents as fast as we could.

“I still don’t understand why you’re not excited!” Chloe whined.

Astrid turned around and grabbed Chloe by both arms.

“I didn’t want them to know my real name!” she snapped.

“Why?” Chloe asked. “That doesn’t even make sense? I mean, how am I supposed to know that?”

We left her behind.

“You know, Alex and Sahalia were really psyched about the letter. They kept it a secret and everything.”

We were headed toward, I don’t know where. Away from Chloe.

“Try a little gratitude sometime!” she yelled after us.

Sometimes we get a moment of reprieve and this afternoon, in the courtyard, it’s a blue-sky Indian summer kind of day and someone lends Freddy a Frisbee.

We all play, even me.

Heather’s shouting, “Throw me the Frithhhbee!”

Aidan, who’s the youngest—just 8—is somehow really, really good at it and can place the Frisbee wherever he wants.

Freddy is hyper, like always, but in the sun, on an unusually warm day, it’s okay. Everything is okay.

Inmates are watching us play now. I don’t like the way some of them look at Lori and me, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

Then Venger comes into the courtyard and I can feel him watching us.

Somehow I know to tone it down, to make it seem like I’m not having fun.

And then my instincts tell me, nope, he’s watching me too closely. I’d better stop.

“I’m out,” I tell them. “I’m just going to watch.”

And I sit down next to Mario, on the cement bench.

I’m breathing hard. My adrenaline is up and suddenly I have the feeling that if I could exercise this way every day, maybe I could get rid of some of the rage.

I feel a little jab of hope in my heart. Maybe I could get rid of some of the rage.

“You’re looking good out there,” Mario tells me.

I roll my eyes, and I smile. He can usually get a smile out of me.

Then I see that Aidan is holding his crotch a little between throws. He’s doing that shifty little thing with his legs that boys do when they need to pee.

I nudge Mario and point.

“Aidan needs to go.”

“Aidan,” Mario shouts. “Go take a leak.”

“In a minute,” he calls back.

I don’t blame Aidan. It’s the best moment we’ve had. Who wants to leave and go into the cesspit of a bathroom, to fend off God knows what perverts are lurking in the stalls?

“Lori okay?” Mario asks me.

“I don’t know,” I tell him.

“Don’t like her?”

“It’s not that.”

“Must be something. That girl would do sorcery if she thought she could get you to like her. Throw a friendy spell on you.”

I sigh.

The sun feels so good on my face. I don’t want to talk.

“Hmmm?” Mario prods.

“I don’t want to be responsible to anyone, Mario. I am not…”

“Not what?”

“Not safe,” I answer. My stupid voice cracks.

“I want you to remember something, Josie Miller. What you did, it was to protect your friends. You saved those kids when you attacked that soldier.”

“Killed him.”

“What?”

“I didn’t just attack him. I killed him,” I say.

“Yeah, okay, you killed him.”

“The other guy, too. The dad.”

“No-good Tad Mandry. He deserved what he got, trapping a bunch of kids the way he did. I think when you get to Niko’s farm, you’re gonna let go of all that junk. Move on. We just gotta get you outta here.”

I have the note from Niko about the farm in my pocket. He had given it to Mario, in case Mario somehow found me. The note is on a small scrap of graph paper. The paper is soft and degrading at the folds and edges. Sometimes I would just put my fingers on it, just touch it to remind myself it’s here.

In Niko’s square print, it reads:

Josie—You can trust this man. Meet me at my uncle’s farm in New Holland. Red Hill Road. I love you always. No matter what.

No matter what you do .

You do are the unwritten words.

Also unwritten: no matter who you kill.

I keep my eyes on my EZ-on mules. No way am I going to let myself feel anything, out in the courtyard. Venger standing at the fence watching us.