Simon Green - A Hard Day's Knight

“I thought as much,” I said. “I keep telling people I’m not worthy, and I should know.”

Actually, I felt rather relieved. I’d had a hard time believing I could be so wrong about myself.

“Puck served me well, at least partly because it appealed to his warped sense of humour,” said Gayle. She sat down elegantly on the stone rim of the well, crossing her long legs neatly and resting her joined hands on the knees. “No-one can better an elf when it comes to sneaking things round. While you were helping smuggle him through the Nightside, John Taylor, he wasn’t only providing a diversion for the elf Peace Treaty. He was also keeping all eyes focused on him because with so much excitement going on, who would notice one small package moving through the mail?”

“Why didn’t he just give it to me?” I said.

“Probably because messing with your head was so much more fun,” said Gayle.

“But why give the sword to Taylor in the first place?” Sir Roland said stubbornly. “Why a man like him? Why not one of us? Any one of us would be happy to bear the burden of Excalibur. We would all die for you, Lady!”

“Exactly,” said Gayle. “I wanted a man who’d live for me. And, to answer your previous question, I couldn’t send the sword here. You’re being watched. You must have noticed.”

The knights looked at each other. Sir Percifal seized his chance to rejoin the conversation. “We knew. Of course we knew. Our security is second to none. Yes. But for all our skills, and all our sources, I have to say ... We are currently unable to ascertain who it is that’s watching us. Yes.”

“We’ve leaned on all the usual unusual suspects,” said Sir Gareth. “And it isn’t any of them.”

“And given how powerful our resources are,” Sir Percifal said doggedly, “it would have to be somebody powerful. Yes. Extremely powerful. And that ... is a very short list. Oh yes.”

“Quite,” said Gayle. “Anyway, John Taylor is my choice to bear Excalibur, and no, you don’t get to bitch about it. He has a destiny to fulfil.”

“Oh bloody hell,” I said loudly. “Not another one. I had a hard enough time getting rid of the last one. What have I got to do now?”

“You will give Excalibur to King Arthur. After you have helped bring him back.”

There was a long silence. The knights all looked at Gayle, then at me. Sir Percifal looked ecstatic. Sir Roland looked like he might have a stroke. Sir Gareth looked ... thoughtful. Gayle smiled enchantingly on one and all. I didn’t say a word. I hadn’t a clue what to say. Sir Roland finally broke the silence, looking like he would explode if he didn’t, but his voice was still barely under control.

“Arthur is coming back? King Arthur? Our long-lost King is finally returning, in our lifetime? You never said anything about this before! What are our regular consultations for if you’re not going to share important information like this? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Somebody is shouting,” said Gayle, to no-one in particular. “And he’d better knock it off if he doesn’t want me to slap him with an earthquake.”

“Beg pardon, Lady,” said Sir Roland. “I fear I am ... overexcited.”

“Better,” said Gayle. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d all act like a bunch of schoolgirls when you found out you couldn’t be a part of this. You’re too close, too involved. You can’t do what’s necessary.”

“Who has a better right to be involved,” said Sir Percifal, “than those who have spent centuries preserving Arthur’s legacy, ready for his return? Hmm?”

“It has to be Taylor,” said Gayle, not unkindly. “He’s the only one who can do this. Get used to the idea, boys. And no, I can’t tell you why. Not yet. There are ... complications. Sometimes, things have to sort themselves out. So make John Taylor welcome amongst you, in my name. Or do my wishes mean nothing to you any more?”

“You are our Lady,” said Sir Percifal. “Our lives are yours. Yes.”

“Dear Percy,” said Gayle. “You were such a handsome boy. Now be good, boys, for goodness’ sake. And all things shall be made well.”

And then she rose, turned lightly on one foot, and leapt gracefully into the well. She disappeared from sight in a moment, taking all the water in the well with her. Sir Percifal sighed and shook his great head fondly.

“Well, that’s one way to avoid answering questions.” He looked at me with sharp and piercing eyes. “It would seem there’s no getting rid of you. No. That you are ... necessary. So be welcome amongst us while we work out how best we can aid you in your quest. Yes. Stop rumbling, Roland; the decision has been made. Hmm ... Sir Gareth; show Mr. Taylor round the castle. Get to know him. Give him the grand tour but keep him away from anything ... sensitive. Yes. You might bear Excalibur, Mr. Taylor, but you are not one of us. No. No. Off you go, the pair of you. The rest of us have to go off somewhere private and shout a lot.”

Sir Gareth took me on a walking tour of Castle Inconnu. The winding stone corridors seemed to go on forever, passing through halls and chambers and galleries beyond counting. He was happy to point out things of interest and not answer any questions I might have. He was also quite open about the fact that he was keeping me occupied, while the knights decided what the hell they were going to do next. But there were all kinds of interesting things to see, and I had a lot to think about. So I followed Sir Gareth past magnificent murals, through portrait galleries and banqueting halls, and past wonderfully carved fountains, until the sheer scale of things began to depress me. Architecture is all very nice, but you can have too much of a good thing.

“Don’t you have anywhere normal-sized in this castle?” I said finally. “Some of these halls are so big, I feel I should be adjusting my watch for different time zones.”

Sir Gareth chuckled easily. “Oh sure; these are only the public areas, designed to awe and intimidate the casual visitor. We don’t actually use most of this any more, except for the odd game of polo, or the occasional martial re-enactment. We live in the inner quarters, which are built on a far more bearable scale. Much more comfortable; you’d hardly know you were inside a castle. We’ve got Gameboys and everything. I’m afraid you’re not cleared to see the inner quarters yet. Feel free to ask questions, though; and I’ll try not to be too evasive.”

“All right,” I said. “Where is this castle, exactly? It’s not a part of the Nightside, or any of London’s other hidden worlds that I know of.”

“You’re not cleared for that information either. Everything about Castle Inconnu is a secret unless you’re one of us. And even we don’t know everything. We have many enemies, and one of our best safeguards is that no-one knows how to find us. We could be anywhere, any time, and for all I know we are. The Green Door is our only link to London Proper, and you couldn’t get through that Door with an enchanted battering ram. And now King Arthur is coming back ... Well, you can bet everyone up to and including the Grand Master is in major panic mode. Everything we ever dreamed and worked for is finally within our grasp ... and we’re not ready.”

“And possibly ... not worthy?” I said.

“The Lady gave Excalibur to you and not one of us,” said Sir Gareth. “That has to mean something. That maybe we’ve spent too long hidden away from the world. Some of us will be making the case for war; for taking our fight public, for the first time in centuries. If King Arthur is coming back, perhaps it’s time for the Final Battle against all the evil in the world, when all things shall be decided, once and for all.”