George Effinger - A Fire in the Sun

“You’ve done a lot for me, and for the kids.”

Yipe. “That’s why you’re here? Because you’re grateful?”

“Well,” she said, “yes. I’m in your debt.”

“You don’t love me, do you, Indihar?”

“Marid,” she said, “don’t get me wrong. I like you, but—”

“But that’s all there is. Listen, I really don’t think being here together is a great idea. You told me you weren’t going to sleep with me, and I respected that.”

“Papa wants us to be married,” she said. Her voice took on an angry edge.

“He thinks it shames his house for us to be living together otherwise. Even if we aren’t, you know, sleeping together.”

“Even though my children need a father, and they like you, I won’t marry you, Marid. I don’t care what Papa says.”

Actually, marriage was something I thought happened only to other people, like fatal traffic accidents. I still felt an obligation to take care of Shaknahyi’s widow and children, and if I had to marry someone, I could do worse than Indihar. But still…

“I think Papa may forget all about it by the time he gets out of the hospital.”

“Just so you understand,” said Indihar. She gave me another kiss — this one chastely on the cheek — and then she quietly got out of my bed and went back to her own room.

I felt like such a noble son of a bitch. I’d made her feel better, but deep down I had no confidence at all that Friedlander Bey would forget his decree. All I could think about was Yasmin, and if she’d still go out with me after I was married to Indihar.

I couldn’t get back to sleep. I just turned from one side to the other, twisting the sheets up into a tangled mess. Finally I gave up and got out of bed and went into the study. I sat in the comfortable leather armchair and picked up the Wise Counselor moddy. I looked at it for a few seconds, wondering if it could possibly make sense out of recent events. “Bismillah,” I murmured. Then I reached up and chipped it in.

Audran seemed to be in a deserted city. He wandered through narrow, congested alleys — hungry, thirsty, and very tired. After a while he turned a corner and came into a great market square. The booths and stalls were deserted, empty of merchandise. Still, Audran recognized where he was. He was back in Algeria. “Hello?” he shouted. There was no answer. He remembered an old saying: “I came to the place of my birth, and cried, “The friends of my youth, where are they?’ An echo answered, ‘Where are they?’

He began to weep with sadness. Then a man spoke, and Audran turned. He recognized the man as the Messenger of God. “Shaykh Marid,” said the Prophet, may blessings be on him and peace, “don’t you consider me the friend of your youth?”

And Audran smiled. “Yaa Hazrat, does not everyone in the world desire your friendship? But my love for Allah so completely fills my heart that there is no room there for love or hate for anyone.”

“If that is true, “said Prophet Muhammad, “then you are blessed. Remember, though, that this verse was revealed: ‘Thou shalt never reach the broad door of piety until thou givest away what thou lovest best.’ What do you love best, O Shaykh?”

I awoke, but this time I didn’t have Jirji Shaknahyi to explain the vision. I wondered what the answer to the Prophet’s question might be: comfort, pleasure, freedom? I hated the idea of giving up any of those, but I might as well get used to the idea. My life with Friedlander Bey rarely entailed the notions of ease or liberty.

But my life needn’t begin again until morning. In the meantime, I had the problem of getting through the night. I went to search for my pillcase.