Allison DuBois - Don't Kiss Them Good-bye

I have learned to embrace my gift and know that it was given to me for a reason. I am well aware of how special my ability is, but I also know that responsibility comes with any gift. I have to use discretion and good judgment with it. For instance, if I am in a restaurant and see an elderly woman with her husband’s spirit standing beside her, I can’t just go up to her and share this with her.

I have a rule that unless the circumstances are right and I am asked for my input, I do not comment to strangers. I have to be careful about sharing information. I don’t want to impinge on people’s lives, especially with something that will impact them emotionally. I do this out of respect for people’s individual beliefs.

I hold myself to a high standard, but I try to keep in mind that nobody is 100 percent all of the time. I am human and will not be consumed by impossible expectations. I am not a medium who shoots for what I call Kleenex points. I have seen people with my gift thrive on crying insincerely with their clients. Making people cry should not make you feel better about yourself. You can phrase a message in a less traumatic, more sensitive manner.

For example, if a son comes through and wants to convey to his mother that he loves her, that’s no big surprise, so I would respond with the following: “Your son is expressing his love for you. He is acknowledging your mother-son connection.” I have delivered the message in a kind way, sparing my client drama. That is nicer than saying, “Your son is expressing that nobody will ever love him the way you did and he’s sorry that he caused you heartbreak. Life together would have been bliss.”

Sometimes the medium has to interpret the feeling that is being conveyed, and the interpretation can play a part in how the message is delivered: dramatically, thoughtfully, angrily. One person might prefer a dramatic reading, whereas another might find that offensive. If you want a reading from a psychic, get a referral from someone you feel has good judgment.

You want to be able to connect with your chosen medium, so spend a minute on the phone (if possible) and ask what you might expect from your reading. If you get a good feeling about the person, you have a better chance of your reading being everything you want it to be. Remember, don’t give the medium personal information up front. Let them tell you specific details about yourself first. This will add impact and meaning to your reading.

After I’ve delivered the messages, I move through the reading, going back to special objects and memories from the deceased to authenticate their presence. Although it’s important for the sitter to hear the loved one’s message, it will be better received if she can reflect on the details later and remember the validating moments from her reading. I do not drag out and milk the sadness in readings. Tears are a common occurrence in a reading, but I prefer to bring out more happy elements.

My family is a different story; my usual rules may not apply. If I know that a family member is going to have a heart attack, I have to tell her, even if she’s not open to what I do. My family is stuck with me and my gift. If I deliver the messages, I am fulfilling my obligation to them and to my calling.

Joe’s deceased father came through to me one night. He was pacing back and forth beside our bed and the floorboards were creaking. (What a stereotypical haunt—creaking floorboards!) To my delight, Joe could hear his dad’s efforts; for once I wasn’t alone. We lay in bed for twenty minutes listening to Dad walk back and forth next to our bed. I just pulled the comforter over my head and tried to ignore him.

“What does he want?” Joe asked.

“I don’t want to know. I’m tired.”

“Allison, come on, ask him,” Joe said.

“He says your brother needs to go to the doctor, but I’m not gonna tell him. He won’t listen anyway.”

The next night, as Joe and I got ready for bed, our alarm system went off. Joe checked it out and thought he had fixed the problem, even though we couldn’t find the source of the activation. We went to sleep. At around 1:30 A.M. our alarm sounded again.

“Ask your guides what’s wrong with the alarm,” Joe said.

I asked and they answered: “The yellow wire is loose.”

I repeated this to Joe and swore that as soon as I got up the alarm company was as good as there. I told Joe that his father was setting off the alarm, meaning he was alarmed about his son’s health. The next morning a repairman from our alarm company came out. I asked him if the alarm system had a yellow wire, and if so, what it did. He said that there was a yellow wire and that it was connected to the face panel.

Of course, this meant nothing to me. The repairman went upstairs and grabbed a chair to stand on. The alarm box with the wiring in it was at the very top of my closet. He popped open the door and flashed his light on the wiring.

“Well, this is strange,” he said. “The yellow wire is disconnected. When they hook these things up they secure the wiring.” I saw it register on the repairman’s face that the yellow wire I’d asked about was indeed loose. I wondered if he thought I did it on purpose to lure him there. I found it amusing to let his mind wander. Oh, well. The truth would probably have been harder for him to take anyway.

I called Joe and told him that it was in fact the yellow wire that was loose. Joe decided to call his brother at work the next morning. Joe was nervous. All we could hope for was that his brother would be somewhat open to the information and would go to the doctor for a checkup. Joe’s brother works at a large engineering company and is very logical.

Joe called his brother’s office. As soon as his brother picked up his business line, the company fire alarm was set off. Joe was stunned. His brother commented on how strange it was that his company’s alarm had been triggered and that he’d have to call Joe back because he couldn’t hear him over the alarm. Joe’s dad had really gone all out to emphasize his message. Joe felt truly touched by this He eventually passed the message on to his brother, but unfortunately my stubborn brother-in-law was not convinced to go to the doctor; he prefers to wait and see.

A difficult aspect of being psychic is that sometimes people want to kill the messenger. Every now and then a client will be told something he does not want to hear and will turn on you. Sometimes it’s easier to not believe a psychic than to face a difficult choice. I find that this occurs frequently with married people who want me to tell them what they want to hear.

“Do you really want to know everything?” I ask before I release sensitive information to clients. Frankly, some people don’t, and I respect that. I am asking them to consider whether they want the impact of my information.

Often I learn I have pinpointed an area of weakness in their relationship that must be worked on to prevent a split. Sometimes the relationship is beyond saving because one or both parties have already disconnected. There have been many occasions where an infidelity has taken place and I have shared the month that an affair will resume or end. I receive plenty of confirmation of my information, and since it’s not always good news, I feel for my client.

I have decided that I will not answer certain questions about marriage. I won’t answer if someone asks whether they made a mistake in marrying someone, or whether they really belong with someone else. I won’t tell someone their marriage won’t last. I am leery of upsetting someone’s life, even if the information has been requested.

Most married people who have questions about their marriage already know where they stand with their spouses. I always tell clients to remember to live their lives as they wish and just use my information as an extra tool.