Allison DuBois - Don't Kiss Them Good-bye

Part of advising people is learning to let go of the idea of making things right for everyone else. We mediums set boundaries for ourselves so we don’t carry the weight of the world’s problems on our shoulders. Help those you can, and respect people enough to let them find their own way in life. For those of you with a humanitarian save-the-world energy: I commend you, but please pick your fights carefully and don’t let them destroy you.

I was watching Oprah in July 2001 (yes, I watch Oprah !) when a man was featured who had nearly died in a plane crash twenty or so years earlier. He decided that if he survived he’d live life to the fullest and work to make a difference. He survived his close call and set out to really embrace life.

He was so inspiring! He made a list of one hundred things that he wanted to do before he died and so far he had accomplished around seventy of those things. I made a list of my own and wanted to share it with you and implore you to make your own list. As a matter of fact, you are reading one of my top ten goals on my to-do list: a book!

Near-death experiences seem to inspire people to live life to the fullest. Spare yourself the near-death experience—learn from others instead, and live! Life is like lightning, it’s here and gone in an instant. Have a ball and share your beautiful gifts with others. Mentor a child, donate your time or money to a worthy cause like a hospice, or sign an organ donor card, it’s free! Take it from me, you won’t need your kidneys on the other side, and there is no more powerful gift than giving someone a new lease on life. Whatever you choose, pick something that moves you, something that reaches into the very core of who you are.

I always tap into the child who dwells within me, in order to not miss out on the little things in life. Remember when you were little and you wanted to save homeless animals and you couldn’t understand why your parents were less than enthusiastic about taking in a pet that really needed you? You felt lucky to encounter a stray. Somehow you thought that you had been sent a special gift.

Growing up shouldn’t mean giving up. Why do you think we stare at children in awe of their innocence and their unassuming discovery of life? We do this because part of us recognizes and misses that part of ourselves. Children are humanitarians naturally; most adults have to work at it. Either way, it’s an inspiring characteristic.

Do you remember when you didn’t understand why there were people in the world who were hungry? I remember my mom telling me that there were hungry people all over the world who would love to have the rest of my dinner. With childlike sincerity I suggested getting an envelope and sending them my dinner.

Today I have taken my childhood suggestion and applied it in an adult capacity. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas I write a check for holiday dinners at homeless shelters. I can’t end world hunger, but I can make the holidays better for some people and let them know that they matter. Some people figure that if they can’t end world hunger entirely, then they won’t do anything at all, because it’s easier to forget about a problem than to acknowledge that it exists and take action.

You must find the part of yourself that dared to dream that you could make a difference in people’s lives. You can still create a positive ripple effect in the world. If you stop striving to connect with people you become isolated and self-absorbed. Growing up means that we gain the power to accomplish goals in the adult world, but somewhere along the way we start overlooking lost kittens and homeless people because it’s easier to shut down than to feel for those in need.

I am not saying to make your house into an animal shelter. I am saying to look around and notice who needs help, and see what you might be able to do for them.

As for panhandlers, I am not comfortable giving money to people on the streets, but I will extend kindness in the form of fast food. On more than one occasion I’ve noticed a homeless person standing by the road asking for money near a drive-through. I like to pick up an extra hamburger or something and give it to them. I have received two different responses: the person is hungry and truly appreciates the food and the gesture, or the person is a con-artist playing on people’s guilt.

Charity feeds the soul, but don’t be a sucker. You don’t have to save the world; just appreciate its complex beauty. There are many ways to make a difference, and they all start with reaching out. Sometimes I almost feel selfish being charitable because it makes me feel so euphoric. Those I’ve helped have given me a spiritual boost. Positive energy feeds on itself and comes back to you.

I wrote this chapter for people who feel empty inside, who are searching for a purpose or just want to feel good. It never hurts to take inventory of your soul. Are you fulfilled? Have you accomplished everything in life that you said you would? What do you stand for? Have you made a difference in someone’s life? Look in the mirror and get to know who you grew up to be. Being a fulfilled person means that at the end of your physical life you have no real regrets.

I am sometimes asked if people really go to hell. On two similar occasions, I could bring through a spirit, but I couldn’t get the spirit to engage in dialogue with the sitter. In one instance, I looked at my client and started describing some dark characteristics about her father. Besides his alcoholism and his frequent physical abuse of his family, he was also an adulterer and engaged in some deviant sexual behavior, which included seeing prostitutes.

When sharing such information, it’s rather unsettling to feel the client’s pain. She verified my information and was okay with it. I explained to her that her father had chosen to turn away from the light and that this in no way reflected on her. I think people can create their own hell and take it with them should they decide they don’t want to part with their darker spiritual features. Good children can be born to sinister people, and vice versa. Don’t spend your life paying for your family’s choices. People don’t look at you and see your family; they see only you. The client I spoke of whose father turned from the light is one of the most centered, kind, loving women I have ever met. She is an exceptional mother and is a friend to many lucky people.

A few times, in similar situations, the client has bolted up off the couch in less than fifteen minutes and said, “I just needed to know that he went where he belonged!” and left.

Psychics are not here to tell people how to live; we are just trying to give people insight into their future so they can make the most of their precious time on earth. I must admit it’s hard to watch people fall back into life patterns that cost them their happiness. We can only advise and send people angels to guide them. The will of the human spirit can override all the guidance sent, so listen carefully to what you hear when you’re sensing your truth.

To bring a relieved smile to a person’s face after helping to her gain closure with a deceased loved one means more to me than words can possibly say. I found myself on the other side of the table when my high school friend Domini died at age thirty-one.

I had known Domini since I was fourteen, when we met during my freshman year at North High. I remember the day we met at the bus stop in front of school. Domini was a gymnast; she looked feminine but was definitely able to handle herself if needed. She had the most captivating Julia Roberts smile. She was all teeth. She was friendly and approachable and we quickly struck up a conversation. After that we were fast friends.