Joanne Rowling - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

He raises his wand ominously. ALBUS looks at the wand — he deflates — AMOS has crushed him.

SCORPIUS: Come on, mate, if there’s one thing we’re good at it’s knowing where we’re not wanted.

ALBUS is reluctant to leave. SCORPIUS pulls him by the arm. He turns and they walk away.

DELPHI: I can think of one reason why you should trust them, Uncle.

They stop.

They’re the only ones volunteering to help. They’re prepared to bravely put themselves at risk to return your son to your side. In fact, I’m pretty sure they put themselves at risk even getting here . . .

AMOS: This is Cedric we’re talking about . . .

DELPHI: And — didn’t you say yourself, having someone inside Hogwarts might be a massive advantage?

DELPHI kisses the top of AMOS’s head. AMOS looks at DELPHI, and then turns to look at the boys.

AMOS: Why? Why do you want to put yourself at risk? What’s in it for you?

ALBUS: I know what it is to be the spare. Your son didn’t deserve to be killed, Mr. Diggory. We can help you get him back.

AMOS (finally showing emotion) : My son — my son was the best thing that ever happened to me — and you’re right, it was an injustice — a gross injustice. If you’re serious . . .

ALBUS: We’re deadly serious.

AMOS: This is going to be dangerous.

ALBUS: We know.

SCORPIUS: Do we?

AMOS: Delphi — perhaps if you were prepared to accompany them?

DELPHI: If that would make you happy, Uncle.

She smiles at ALBUS, he smiles back.

AMOS: You do understand even getting the Time-Turner will risk your lives.

ALBUS: We’re ready to put our lives at risk.

SCORPIUS: Are we?

AMOS (gravely) : I hope you have it in you.

HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY sit, eating together.

HERMIONE: I’ve told Draco again and again — no one in the Ministry is saying anything about Scorpius. The rumors aren’t coming from us.

GINNY: I wrote to him — after he lost Astoria — to ask if there’s anything we could do. I thought maybe — as he was such a good friend to Albus — maybe Scorpius might want to stay over part of the Christmas break or . . . My owl came back with a letter containing one simple sentence: “Tell your husband to refute these allegations about my son once and for all.”

HERMIONE: He’s obsessed.

GINNY: He’s a mess — a grieving mess.

RON: And I’m sorry for his loss but when he accuses Hermione of . . . Well . . . (He looks across at HARRY.) Oi droopy drawers, like I say to her all the time, it could be nothing.

HERMIONE: Her?

RON: The trolls could be going to a party, the giants to a wedding, you could be getting bad dreams because you’re worried about Albus, and your scar could be hurting because you’re getting old.

HARRY: Getting old? Thanks, mate.

RON: Honestly, every time I sit down now I make an “ooof” noise. An “ooof.” And my feet — the trouble I’m having with my feet — I could write songs about the pain my feet give me — maybe your scar is like that.

GINNY: You talk a lot of rubbish.

RON: I consider it my speciality. That and my range of Skiving Snackboxes. And my love for all of you. Even Skinny Ginny.

GINNY: If you don’t behave, Ronald Weasley, I will tell Mum.

RON: You wouldn’t.

HERMIONE: If some part of Voldemort survived, in whatever form, we need to be prepared. And I’m scared.

GINNY: I’m scared too.

RON: Nothing scares me. Apart from Mum.

HERMIONE: I mean it, Harry, I will not be Cornelius Fudge on this one. I will not stick my head in the sand. And I don’t care how unpopular that makes me with Draco Malfoy.

RON: You never really were one for popularity, were you?

HERMIONE shoots RON a withering look as she aims to hit him but RON jumps out of the way.

Missed.

GINNY hits RON. RON winces.

Hit. A very solid hit.

Suddenly an owl is in the room. It swoops in low and drops a letter on HARRY’s plate.

HERMIONE: Bit late for an owl, isn’t it?

HARRY opens the letter. Surprised.

HARRY: It’s from Professor McGonagall.

GINNY: What does it say?

HARRY’s face drops.

HARRY: Ginny, it’s Albus — Albus and Scorpius — they never made it to school. They’re missing.

SCORPIUS is squinting at a bottle.

SCORPIUS: So we just take it?

ALBUS: Scorpius, do I really need to explain to you — übergeek and Potions expert — what Polyjuice does? Thanks to Delphi’s brilliant preparation work, we are going to take this potion and be transformed, and thus disguised we will be able to enter the Ministry of Magic.

SCORPIUS: Okay, two points, one, is it painful?

DELPHI: Very — as I understand it.

SCORPIUS: Thank you. Good to know. Second point: Do either of you know what Polyjuice tastes of? Because I’ve heard it tastes of fish and if it does I will just vomit it back up. Fish doesn’t agree with me. Never has. Never will.

DELPHI: Consider us warned. (She knocks back the potion.) It doesn’t taste of fish. (She begins to transform. It’s agonizing.) Actually it tastes quite pleasant, yum. It is painful but . . . (She burps, loudly.) Take it back. There is a — slight — (She burps again, she turns into HERMIONE.) Slight — overpowering — fishy residue.

ALBUS: Okay, that’s — wow.

SCORPIUS: Double wow.

DELPHI/HERMIONE: This really doesn’t feel how I — I even sound like her! Triple wow.

ALBUS: Right. Me next.

SCORPIUS: No. No way, José. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it (he puts on a pair of familiar-looking glasses with a smile) together.

ALBUS: Three. Two. One.

They swallow.

No, that’s good. (He’s racked with pain.) That’s less good.

They both start to transform and it’s agonizing.

ALBUS turns into RON, SCORPIUS into HARRY.

The two look at each other. There’s a silence.

ALBUS/RON: This is going to be slightly weird, isn’t it?

SCORPIUS/HARRY (full of drama — he’s really enjoying this) : Go to your room. Go straight to your room. You’ve been an incredibly awful and bad son.

ALBUS/RON (with a laugh) : Scorpius . . .

SCORPIUS/HARRY (tossing his cloak over his shoulder) : It was your idea — I be him and you be Ron! I just want to have a little fun before I . . . (And then he burps loudly.) Okay, so that’s utterly horrible.

ALBUS/RON: You know, he hides it well, but Uncle Ron’s got a bit of a gut growing.

DELPHI/HERMIONE: We should go — don’t you think?

They emerge onto the street. They enter a telephone box. They dial 62442.

TELEPHONE BOX: Welcome, Harry Potter. Welcome, Hermione Granger. Welcome, Ron Weasley.

They smile as the telephone box disappears into the floor.

HARRY, HERMIONE, GINNY, and DRACO pace around a small room.