Sunny: Mona Lisa Blossoming

In the knowledge of his eyes, I saw that he knew what I desired. "Wait for me. Let me tell one of the others."

I sat there in the car, unmoving, until he returned.

Amber led me to the edge of the woods. There he stopped and undressed, neatly folding his clothes, then removed mine. I stood passively and let him, concentrating fiercely on the birdsong, on the feel of the sun on my skin, on anything other than my feelings, my thoughts, my memories.

"Mona Lisa, when you are ready," Amber said quietly, bringing my attention back, and I realized that I was completely nude and unembarrassed. What did it matter now?

I dropped that shielding, that control, those mental chains that had bound my beast for so long that it felt a natural part of me. Nothing happened, and for one moment I felt despair. Was I too consumed? Was I too spent? And then I felt my beast roaring out of me, exploding from me, and caught its thoughts for one fleeting second… Unleashed. Finally unleashed … Before it took me over completely and I ceased to be. In my receding consciousness, I heard only the panting of my tiger. Felt it leap with its great paws touching the ground ever so lightly, racing toward the heart of the deep forest.

When I came back to awareness, it was dawn or dusk, I could not tell. I did not know how much time had elapsed, remembered nothing. I was in a bed of leaves in the shelter of a shallow cave, in Amber's arms, my head pillowed on his chest. I was covered in an acrid scent I did not recognize and the tang of old blood was a coppery taste in my mouth. My stomach churned and I scrambled on all four out of the cave. Only a few feet from the entrance, I could hold it back no longer, and heaved and wretched up bloody chunks of raw meat. And then heaved even more when I saw what was spewing out from me. Amber held back my hair, supporting me, crooning in wordless comfort.

In the days to come, we nestled in the forest. Amber roamed free as a cougar, and I as a Bengal tiger. My beast became my escape, my salvation now. And it reveled in its newfound freedom, unchained, unbound.

Every day I awoke to other unfamiliar scents on me, and the tang of old blood in my mouth became a familiar aftertaste. But I always woke with Amber's arms, large and secure around me, with his heart beating slow and strong beneath me. I no longer vomited, and there were memories now. Flashes of running through the forest, my head low to the ground, stretching out. Bits and pieces of the hunt. Different ones, so many different ones. The rush of bringing prey down, that final soaring spring, the tearing of flesh, that sweet hot spray of blood filling my mouth.

And then one day, I didn't just remember. I was aware. I saw my paws stretched out before me, felt the bare impact as I touched lightly upon the ground, and I came to a sudden stop, letting the deer I was chasing dart away, its bobbing white tail a teasing allure that I resisted though my beast still wanted it. I felt my beast's silent half-hearted snarl at me for stopping. But it was well-fed. The deer had simply come along while it had been resting and it had given chase because that was what it did. I turned, and through my tiger eyes saw the tawny mountain cat that had been my constant companion, saw it watching me with intelligent amber eyes.

Are you in there ? he asked.

Yes.

I changed and it was an easy, natural thing to do, to resume my human form, to stand and watch as the cougar shimmered, as fur became skin, and Amber once more stood before me. "Welcome back."

"How long was I gone?" It felt odd to talk.

"Almost a fortnight." Several weeks.

"What day is it?" I asked.

"The second day of the new year."

I'd missed Christmas then.

Thoughts of the holiday made me think of the others and I found myself missing them, my family. "Let's go back home."

Amber smiled and extended his hand. I took it.

"Home," he said. "That sounds nice."

It seemed Christmas hadn't passed me by entirely. Warrior Lord Thorane, Speaker of the High Council, had called and left a cryptic message: Halcyon had given the necklace back to its rightful owner.

Gryphon was in Hell.

His scent still lingered in his room. Soon it would fade completely. I felt sadness at that fact, but not despair. I knew where to find him now. He hadn't left me completely. Just gone to another realm. In time, I would see him again.

The others had held my little Queendom for me while I'd been gone. Thaddeus and Aquila had overseen the various businesses, Chami had arbitrated the disputes. Dontaine and Thomas had gone to Mississippi, cleaned up the house, and even returned the stolen minivan. Its owner found it one morning innocently parked in front of his lawn. The registration had been in the glove compartment.

The adjoining Mississippi territory that had been sliced up and given to Mona Louisa became mine by default. To the victor the spoils. Horace, the nasty steward, came along with the new province. He was just as slimy but much more humble now, more eager to please. Slimy or not, Horace was efficient at his job. Amber and I ended up sharing the little steward.

At my insistence, under protest, Amber ruled the new Mississippi slice. He didn't want to leave me but I made him. Who else could rule it on my behalf? I had asked him. Since the answer had been, "No one else," he had gone.

I felt lonely and a little guilty for making him leave. I had refused to join the two territories back under the single rule they had once enjoyed. Everyone thought it was because Gryphon had died there, and that was a small part of it. But the greater reason was because Amber was a Warrior Lord. He should have ruled his own territory but had chosen to stay with me, in service to me. This way, we could still have both. Amber could rule as he was meant to rule, and still continue to serve me. But having both came with a price. I could no longer fall asleep in Amber's comforting arms and wake up with the reassuring beat of his heart beneath me.

Thaddeus began his final semester in the new high school, and Jamie and Tersa made plans to take the GED and enroll in college next fall. We never did get around to lessons with Healer Janelle. Mona Carlisse, her daughter, Casio, and Janelle had all returned to their homes. Perhaps we'd see each other again at the next Council Meeting. Finally get in a lesson one of these days.

My beast and I were one now. I ran with Amber in the woods once a week during the precious one day and night I got to be with him. But our lack of a healer, and my limited healing capacity was still a problem. Mona Louisa's healer had fled back to High Court after discovering the carnage in Mississippi. She still trembled at the mention of my name. Rosemary had come up with some creative ideas, ingenious bribes, really, to lure a healer into my service. We'd see how well they worked come next Trade Festival.

Until then, life went on. It really did. And some life goes on to become demon dead.