Marilu Mann - Changing Focus

Micah pulled on a pair of jeans and his moccasins and left the room, making his way to his study. It was late, too late, really, to call, but he knew his grandfather would be awake. And the time difference gave him a little leeway. Stoking the fire with one hand, he hit a speed dial on his portable phone.

“ Ya-ta-hey . ”

“Grandfather, it’s Micah.”

“Grandson, it has been a long time. What troubles you?”

Micah smiled, just like the old man to get right to the heart of the matter. “I’ve found a mate, Grandfather. A shifter female named Olivia.”

“You wake an old man in the middle of the night for this? Call me back when the Blessing Way needs to be sung. Call me back when she is pregnant with my great-grandson.”

“Grandfather, there won’t be a Blessing Way. She doesn’t accept what she is, what I am. She fears it.” Micah waited through the silence, waited while the clock over the mantle ticked the passage of time. When his grandfather spoke again, his voice sounded older, tired. Micah had heard this tone before, when his grandfather spoke of visions.

“She will be made to understand. She will face an unexpected challenge and she will triumph. Keep the faith, Micah, keep your love strong. Keep your heart strong. She loves you, this woman?”

“I think she does. She hasn’t said the words.” Micah settled more comfortably in front of the fire.

“Have you?”

“No, she won’t hear them from me right now. But I do love her. She is mine, Grandfather, just as I am hers.”

“For this I’m thankful, Grandson. You will bring this woman to see me soon. We will celebrate the Blessing Way.”

Micah smiled, knowing his grandfather wouldn’t sleep any more, that he’d be out wandering in the desert and then returning to sit in the sweat lodge before dawn singing and praying. “I will, Grandfather.”

He hung up after the old man disconnected, then sat staring into the fire. An unexpected challenge? What would that be? Surely his grandfather knew that since he’d claimed Olivia as his mate, Micah wouldn’t allow her to face any problem alone. Maybe the old man’s visions weren’t quite up to par anymore. He’d turned ninety this past summer.

Micah put the phone away and stretched out on the floor in front of the fire. He’d let Olivia sleep for a bit then wake her with breakfast in bed. Grinning, he thought of some rather creative uses for the homemade maple syrup he would warm up just for her.

Pushing the shifting could wait for now. He’d let her get used to the idea. They still had to talk about Talia as well. If Olivia were going to accept him as mate, she’d also have to accept shared responsibility for Talia. They’d become an instant family and he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about that. His thoughts chased one another much like the young wolves chased their own tails until sleep claimed him. Dreams of running with Olivia soothed his worried mind.

It hurt to open her eyes. Olivia scrubbed a fist at them in hopes of knocking the salt loose. Painfully she pried one open then the other. Micah was not in the room but his scent lingered. Rolling on to her stomach, she winced when the bunched blankets hit the sore spot on her neck. She scooted off the bed and stretched.

“Oh God, what have I done?” Her heart hurt when she realized that she’d done what she’d sworn she’d never do again. She’d drawn blood during sex. And then, instead of leaving as she should have, she’d made love to him again.

And he’d held on to her instead of pushing her away. Soothed her with gentle touches and strong arms while she’d cried herself to sleep again. Her life was spinning out of control. First this attraction to Micah then the knowledge of what he was-what she was-and then the blood. Olivia shivered as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“This ends here and now. I won’t let this take over my life. I can’t hurt Micah like that.” Olivia shoved away the knowledge that he’d obviously liked it and returned it. That didn’t matter. He was just responding to her uncontrollable urges. With a firm nod, Olivia slipped out of Micah’s room and headed to her own.

She stopped by Talia’s room, pausing at the door. The slow, even breathing of a sound-asleep child greeted her. Gareth had obviously brought her home earlier since she hadn’t been here when Olivia had cried herself to sleep in Micah’s arms. She wondered if the child had even awakened during the trip. Resting a hand on the door, she whispered, “Love you, Talia. Grow up strong and know who you are.”

Tears traced warmth down Olivia’s cheeks as she unplugged her laptop to secure it in its case. She made a call to the car service that had brought her to the lodge then opened her suitcase. As she folded her clothing into the bag, she tried not to notice the occasional water spot. I swear! You’ve cried more here than you have since Mom and Dad died. Swiping a tear from the edge of her mouth, Olivia closed the suitcase.

Leaving the silk long johns on the bed along with the cap and scarf, she wheeled her suitcase into the hall then picked it up for the suddenly endless trek down the stairs to wait for the car. She knew she’d have to confront Micah. No one could leave or enter the property without him being aware of it.

He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, a silent statue with arms folded over his chest. His hair hung loose around his face and though his pose might have looked casual, she could smell his tension. The air hung heavy between them as she put her luggage by the front door.

“You’re leaving?”

She’d have had to be made of stone not to hear the hurt and disbelief in his voice. His fingers curled around a loose thread on his sweater. She watched as he pulled at the string, almost as though he was trying to pull her back to him. Olivia fought the urge to tell him to stop-it wasn’t her place. She had no right or reason to tell him to do anything. Micah released the string to rub lightly at his chest, reminding her of where her teeth had been scant hours before.

“I have to. I have to finish my story. I can’t stay here. I can’t be what you want me to be.” Words tumbled over each other as she pulled every sad excuse from her repertoire. Turning her head didn’t alleviate the incredible searing pain that blazed through her.

Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do. Which , she reminded herself, is precisely why you’re waiting for a cab to take you as far from him as possible.

“Why, Olivia? Why are you running? How long can you run from yourself?” He unfolded his arms and walked toward her but stopped when she took a step back. “Liv, this isn’t right. You belong here, with me, with Talia. You’re one of us.”

“ No! ” The violence inside her projected into that one syllable. “No, Micah, I am not one of you. Maybe, maybe if I’d been with the right family, maybe then all of this would make sense. All it makes right now is crazy. And I can’t afford crazy in my life. Do you even know how much money I spent in therapy? On medicine to keep me sane?”

Olivia backed farther away from him until she hit a wall. “I can’t, Micah, and I won’t.”

A sigh ripped from his lips as his shoulders sagged. “Then that’s that. I can’t make you stay, Olivia. I can’t make you want to be with me.” His voice faded then came back. “I can’t make you be one of us. What about Talia? Will you leave without saying goodbye?”

Tears misted in her eyes. “Tell her I love her and I’ll call her, okay? I can’t say goodbye to both of you. I’m not that strong.”

His chin sunk to his chest then he leveled his gaze at her. “I will always welcome you at my side, Olivia. The mark you left on me will never fade nor will your presence in my heart. I will always-”