Marilu Mann - Changing Focus

For now, let’s just concentrate on the joy. Run with me, Liv. Run with me in the moonlight, under the blanket of darkness. Run with me and feel the freedom in this form. Micah moved slightly away from her, wagging his tail, giving her his best wolf grin. Olivia stared at him for a long moment.

You’ll help me get back to my human form if I get distracted?

Micah stopped wagging his tail, stopped moving altogether. You have to do it yourself, Liv. You have to learn to control your shift.

But you’ll stay with me? Her head dropped as her ears shifted back against her skull.

Micah felt physical pain when he looked at the unhappy she-wolf in front of him. He would do anything to show her how beautiful she was to him in both forms. Yet he feared it might not be enough. He wanted to tell her he loved her-that he claimed her as his. Instead he mouthed her muzzle gently. Yes, I will stay with you.

Then show me this world, Micah. Convince me that I’m not a monster, that we’re not monsters who only want to rip and tear at one another and at smaller animals. Her head lifted slightly as her tail swept up from the ground. When her ears pitched forward toward him, understanding broke through his animal mind.

Olivia feared the “monster” who lived inside her because that’s how she had always seen her wolf. A monster who killed her parents, the monster who caused the Beta males to attack and hurt Gareth. A monster who craved fresh meat-that also explained why she had refused to eat meat at first.

Run with me, love, feel the joy in this form. Feel the freedom. Follow me. Micah set off at an easy trot. They circled around the other wolves to a spot high enough to overlook the Gathering. He sat and waited patiently until Olivia joined him. Look at them, Liv. They’re not monsters. They’re just wolves having fun. In their human forms they’re doctors, lawyers, waitresses, housewives, factory workers, real people. Tonight, though, tonight they’re wolves, they’re free and they’re loving the weather and the night. “And the wolf behowls the moon.”

I do love a man who knows his Shakespeare.

Micah knew she didn’t mean love the way he wanted her to but he let the words warm his soul anyway. They watched the other wolves for a few minutes, then Micah led the way around the clearing, back to one of his favorite paths. Trotting side by side, he and Olivia covered quite a bit of ground. He showed her his preferred spots along the path, where she could get a drink of fresh water from the one still-running stream because deer frequently crossed there and kept the ice from getting too thick.

For several hours they ran as wolves and Micah could feel Olivia relaxing into her form, accepting the enhanced eyesight and sense of smell. Finally she looked at him. Her teeth gleamed white as her jaw dropped open. His heart tumbled again when she gave him a wolf grin. Her voice teased him as she challenged, Race you back to the lodge.

Micah let out a huff of air. Before he could respond, Liv broke and ran, ears back, legs churning over the uneven ground. The sight of her silky tail streaming out was more than he could resist. Micah stayed hot on her heels. Pine trees flashed by. More than one rabbit took off in terror only to pause when it realized that it wasn’t the object of the chase.

Her laughter rang in his head. Her human smell mixed with her muskier she-wolf scent. Micah didn’t ever want to smell anything else in his life. More, he could feel her down to his marrow. Mine. That one word kept repeating in his brain as they ran.

Time to show you something you missed, Liv. Micah felt her curiosity as she loped behind him. Her chuckle burbled in her head.

I never noticed this before! It makes perfect sense though. A dog door.

Micah snorted. Wolf door, please, my love.

He felt her mood shift immediately and cursed himself for letting the endearment slip. He knew how he felt but she wasn’t ready yet.

Micah, I’m-

It’s okay, Liv. Cutting off her soft words, Micah shifted.

“Do you want me to wait for you?”

At her nod, he leaned against the kitchen counter. “When you are human again, I want you to come to my room, please. And understand that is a big step for us, for you.”

Olivia shuddered in front of him, easily sliding into human form. “Wow! That wasn’t as hard this time, Micah! I did what you said and put the puzzle back together.”

She stared at him then. “Go up. I’ll join you in a bit. I need to think about some things first.”

Micah could smell Olivia on the other side of his door. He waited impatiently, knowing she had to come through it on her own. Suddenly that closed door represented all that he’d shut out of his life for so many years. It was as if he’d been waiting for that perfect woman, his mate, to show up.

For a moment, Micah indulged in the daydream of introducing Olivia to the Pack as his mate. Shaking his head, he realized that would make them see her as Alpha bitch. His cock pressed against his belly like some insistent fist. She was perfect as his mate and he didn’t want to share her with the Pack that way. Just another reason for him to find someone else to take over as Alpha.

Picturing Olivia naked, he silently urged her to come through the door. He’d never made love in this bed. That had always been somehow reserved for the woman who would be his mate. For Olivia if she would just push the door. He thanked all that was holy that Talia was with the other children at Pete and Margie’s. He didn’t want any interruptions tonight.

What he wanted was a petite blonde who could run the woods of his home-their home-with him. One who could give voice to her joy as she surged past him in a race he couldn’t have possibly won. Remembering her beautiful wolf form brought a smile to Micah’s face. Are you ever going to come in?

He lay facedown seemingly relaxed on the bed, wondering if she would overcome her fear and give in to that sweet tangy desire he could smell. A click of the door opening made his senses leap though his body remained still. Sprawled on his stomach, one arm under the pillow bunched under his head, the other hanging off the edge of the bed, he hoped he presented an unthreatening view. If he rolled over now, his cock would probably grow to meet her at the door.

Suppressing the nearly overwhelming need to take her in his arms, he allowed her to look at him. He imagined he could feel her studying him and warmth swept his body. Tracking her movements by sound, Micah heard her come to the foot of the bed. The click of a shutter caused him to raise his head.

“Don’t. I need this memory of you like this.” Olivia’s voice held tension, but Micah thought he detected sadness as well. Need this memory of me? Sweetheart, I am going to be so indelibly stamped on your brain that you will never forget me. Obligingly but with great difficulty, Micah held his position.

He counted the whirrs of the camera as she took picture after picture. He wondered what she looked like-did her head turn? Was her hair caressing the camera? Did she have her tongue stuck out like Talia? With difficulty he obeyed her hissed command to “Hold still, Micah”.

The passion in her voice and his own observations from the past few days told him how much her she loved her work. Micah flinched. His mind had gone right to the thought he didn’t want to acknowledge. But does she love me?

Micah rolled slightly and looked at her through the curtain of his hair. She snapped another shot of him but he could see her smile behind her camera.

“I want you under me, Liv.”