Аманда Хокинг - Torn

“Like I have a choice.” She rolled her eyes and went over to the stove. “You came here for my son, and I know I can’t stop you.”

“I didn’t…” I trailed off. “I wanted to talk to Finn, not take him away from you.” I sighed. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“Are you going somewhere?” Annali asked, her back to me as she stirred the stew.

“No. No, I can’t go anywhere, even if I had somewhere else I wanted to be.” I pulled at the sleeves of my shirt and stared down at the floor. “I really didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t even know why I came here. I knew I shouldn’t.”

“You really didn’t come here to take him away?” Annali turned around to face me, narrowing her eyes.

“He left,” I said. “I can’t force him… I wouldn’t want to force him, even if I could.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“You really aren’t anything like your mother.” Annali sounded almost surprised by that, and I looked up at her. “Finn said you weren’t, but I didn’t believe him.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I mean… I don’t want to be like her.”

I heard men’s voices coming up the road. The cottage walls were startlingly thin, and I looked out the small window next to the door. The glass was warped and blurred, but I could see two dark figures walking towards the house.

“They’re home,” Annali sighed.

My heart hammered in my chest, and I had to squeeze my hands together to keep from the trembling. I had no idea what I was doing here, and with Finn rapidly approaching the door, I wish I hadn’t come at all. I couldn’t think of anything to say to him. At least not anything I actually wanted to say.

The door to the cottage pushed open, bringing along a cold wind, and I wanted to escape into it. But a man blocked my path, looking about as shocked and sick as I felt. He stopped right in the doorway, so Finn couldn’t get past him on the other side, and for a minute, he stared at me.

His eyes were lighter than Finn’s and his skin tanner, but I saw enough of Finn in him to know that he was his father. There was something almost prettier about him, his skin was softer and cheeks higher. Finn was far more rugged and strong, and I preferred that.

“Princess,” he said at length.

“Yes, Thomas,” Annali said without even trying to hide the irritation in her voice.

“It’s the Princess, now step inside before you let all the warm air out.”

“My apologies.” Thomas bowed before me, then stepped aside so Finn could come in.

Finn didn’t bow, and he didn’t say anything. His expression stayed blank, and his eyes were too dark to read. He folded his arms across his chest, and he wouldn’t take his eyes off me, so I looked away. The air seemed too thick to breathe, and I did not want to be here.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Thomas asked when nobody said anything.

He’d gone over to Annali, looping his arm around his wife’s shoulders. She rolled her eyes when he did it, but she didn’t push his arm away.

“Getting fresh air,” I mumbled. My mouth felt numb, and I had to force myself to speak.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back?” Annali suggested.

“Yes,” I nodded quickly, grateful for an escape from this.

“I’ll walk you,” Finn said, speaking for the first time.

“Finn, I don’t think that’s necessary,” Annali said.

“I have to be sure she gets home,” Finn said. He opened the door, letting in the frosty air that seemed like a wonderful reprieve from the stifling kitchen. “Are you ready, Princess?”

“Yes,” I nodded and stepped towards the door. I waved vaguely at Annali and Thomas, unwilling to actually look at them. “It was lovely meeting you. Tell Ember I said goodbye.”

“You’re welcome here anytime, Princess,” Thomas said, and I could actually hear Annali hitting him in the arm as I walked out of the cottage.

I took a deep breath and walked up the gravel road. The stones dug into my bare feet, but I liked it better that way. It distracted me from the awkward tension hanging between Finn and me.

“You don’t have to walk with me,” I said quietly as we reached the top of the gravel road. From there, the road turned into smooth tar leading back to the palace.

“Yes, I do,” Finn replied coolly. “It’s my duty.”

“Not anymore.”

“It’s still my duty to carry out the Queen’s wishes, and keeping the Princess safe is her highest wish,” he said in a way that was almost taunting.

“I’m perfectly safe without you.” I walked faster.

“Does anybody even know that you left the palace?” Finn asked, giving me a sidelong glance as he matched my pace, and I shook my head. “How did you even know where I lived?” I didn’t answer because I didn’t want Duncan to get in trouble, but Finn figured it out on his own. “Duncan? Excellent.”

“Duncan’s doing a perfectly adequate job!” I snapped. “And you must think so, otherwise you wouldn’t have left me in his care.”

“I have no control over whose care you’re left under,” Finn said. “You know that. I don’t know why you’re angry with me for that.”

“I’m not!” I walked even faster, so I was almost jogging. That didn’t bode well for me, because I stepped on a sharp rock. “Dammit!”

“Are you okay?” Finn asked, stopping to see what was the matter.

“Yeah, I just stepped on a rock.” I rubbed my foot. It didn’t appear to be bleeding, and I attempted to walk on it. It stung a little, but I’d survive. “Why couldn’t we take your car?”

“I don’t have a car.” Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and slowed down. I hobbled a little, and he didn’t offer to help me. Not that I would’ve accepted his offer, but that was beside the point.

“What do you call that Cadillac you always drive?” I asked.

“Elora’s,” he said. “She lends me the car for work, the same way she lends all the trackers cars. But we don’t own them. I don’t actually own anything.”

“What about your clothes?” I asked, mostly just to irritate him. I assumed he actually owned them, but I wanted to argue with him about something.

“Did you see that house back there, Wendy?” Finn stopped and pointed to his house. We’d gone too far to see it anymore, but I looked at the trees blocking my view. “That’s the house I grew up in, the house I live in, the house I will probably die in. That’s what I have. That is all I have.”

“I don’t have anything that’s really mine either,” I said, and he laughed darkly.

“You still don’t get it, Wendy.” He rested his eyes on me, and his mouth twitched into a bitter smile. “I’m just a tracker. You have to stop this. You have to go be a Princess, do what’s best for you, and let me go do my job.”

“I really didn’t mean to bother you, and you don’t need to walk me home.” I turned and walked again, more quickly than my foot would’ve liked.

“I am making sure you get there safely,” Finn said, following a step behind.

“If you’re just doing your job, then go do it!” I stopped and whirled on him. “But I’m not your job anymore, right?”

“No, you’re not!” Finn shouted and stepped closer to me. “Why did come to my house today? What did you think that would accomplish?”

“I don’t know!” I yelled. “But you didn’t even say goodbye!”

“How does saying goodbye help anything?” He shook his head. “It doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does!” I insisted. “You can’t just leave me!”

“I have to!” His dark eyes blazed, making my stomach flip. “You have to be the Princess, and I can’t ruin that. I won’t.”

“I understand but…” Tears welled in my eyes, and I swallowed hard. “You can’t keep going like you do. You have to at least say goodbye.”