Аманда Хокинг - Torn

Finn stepped closer to me. His eyes smoldered in a way that only he could manage. The chill in the air seemed to disappear entirely. I leaned into him, even though I was afraid he’d be able to feel the way my heart hammered in my chest.

I stared up at him, praying he would touch me, but he didn’t. He didn’t move at all.

“Goodbye, Wendy,” Finn said so quietly, I could barely him.

“Princess!” Duncan shouted.

I pulled my gaze away from Finn to see Duncan standing a little ways down the road, waving his arms like a maniac. The palace was right around the corner, and I hadn’t realized how close we were. When I looked at Finn, he’d already taken several steps away from me, towards his house.

“He can take you the rest of the way home.” Finn gestured to Duncan and took another step back. I didn’t say anything, so he stopped. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”

“No.” I shook my head.

“Princess!” Duncan shouted again, and I heard him racing towards us.

“Princess, Matt noticed you were missing, and he wanted to alert the guards. I have to bring you back before he does.”

“I’m coming.” I turned towards Duncan, turning my back on Finn.

I walked with Duncan to the palace, and I didn’t even look back at Finn once. I was quite proud of myself. I hadn’t yelled at him for not telling me about my father, but I did say some of the things I wanted to say.

“I’m lucky that Matt was the one that saw you were gone, and not Elora,” Duncan said as we rounded the bend to the palace. The asphalt road gave way to a cobblestone driveway that felt much better on my feet.

“Duncan, is that you how live?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Like Finn’s house.” I pointed towards it with my thumb. “Do you live in a cottage like that? I mean, when you’re not busy tracking.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Duncan nodded. “I think mine’s a little bit nicer, but I live with my uncle, and he was a really good tracker before he retired. Now he’s a school teacher, and that’s still not so bad.”

“Do you live around here?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He pointed up the hill, north of the palace. “It’s pretty hidden in the bluff, but it’s right up that way.” He looked at me. “Why? Did you wanna go visit?”

“Not right now. Thanks for the invitation, though,” I said. “I was just curious. Is that how all the trackers live?”

“Like me and Finn?” Duncan was thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. All the trackers that stay around, anyway.”

Duncan walked ahead and opened the palace doors, but I stopped and stared up at it. The intertwined vines grew over the shining white exterior. When the sunlight hit it, it could be almost blindingly bright. It was massive and glittering.

“Princess?” Duncan waited at the open doors for me. “Is everything alright?”

“Would you die to save me?” I asked him bluntly.

“What?”

“If I was in danger, would you be willing to die to protect me?” I asked. “Have other trackers done that before?”

“Yes, of course,” Duncan nodded. “Many other trackers have given their lives in the name of the kingdom, and I’d be honored to do the same.”

“Don’t.” I walked up to him. “If it ever comes down to a situation between me and you, save yourself. I’m not worth dying for.”

“Princess, I-”

“None of us are,” I said, looking at him seriously. “Not the Queen or any of the Markis or Marksinna. That’s a direct order from the Princess, and you have to follow it. Save yourself.”

“I don’t understand.” Duncan’s whole face scrunched in confusion. “But… if it’s as you wish, Princess.”

“It is. Thank you,” I smiled at him and walked into the palace.

The debris had been cleared from the ballroom, much to Tove’s chagrin, but the skylights were still covered with tarp. Tove had liked having all the junk around because it gave me something to practice on, but he decided that the tarp would be easier anyway.

Duncan stayed away today. I think his brain was getting frazzled from me playing around with it. Since he sometimes got hit with stray brain waves when I tried too hard, we all thought it’d be best if he hung around somewhere else for a while.

I’d been trying for hours to get the tarp to move, and all I’d managed was a ripple across it. Even that was questionable. Tove said it was probably me, but I suspected it was a strong gust of wind blowing across it.

My head was actually starting to hurt, and I felt like a jackass holding my arms up in the air, pushing at nothing.

“Nothing’s happening,” I sighed and dropped my arms.

“Try harder,” Tove replied. He lay on the floor near me, his arms folded neatly beneath his head.

“I can’t try any harder.” I sat down on the floor with an unladylike thud, but I knew Tove wouldn’t care. I had a feeling he barely even noticed I was a girl. “I’m not trying to whine here, but are you sure I can even do this?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Well what if I give myself an aneurysm trying to do something I can’t even do?” I asked.

“You won’t,” he said simply. He lifted an arm up, and holding his palm out to it, he made the tarp lift up and strain against the bungee cords holding it down. It settled down, and he looked over me. “Do that.”

“Can I take a break?” I asked, almost pleading with him. My brow had started to sweat, and stray curls were sticking to my temples.

“If you must.” He lowered his arm and folded it behind his head again. “If you are really having a hard time with this, maybe you need to work up to it more.

Tomorrow, you can practice on Duncan again.”

“No, I don’t wanna practice on him.” I pulled my knee up to my chest and rested my cheek against it. “I don’t want to break him.”

“What about that Rhys?” Tove asked. “Can you practice on him?”

“No. He’s completely out of the question.” I picked at a spot on the marble floor and thought for a minute. “I don’t want to practice on people.”

“It’s the only way you’ll get good at it,” Tove said.

“I know but…” I sighed. “Maybe I don’t want to be good at it. I mean, controlling it, yes, I want to be good at that. But I don’t want to be able to use mind control on anyone. Even bad people. It doesn’t feel right to me.”

“I understand that.” He sat up, crossing his legs underneath him as he turned to face me. “But learning to harness your power isn’t a bad thing.”

“I’m stronger than Duncan, right?”

“Yes, of course,” Tove nodded.

“Then why is Duncan guarding me?” I asked. “If I’m more powerful.”

“Because he’s more expendable,” Tove replied simply. I must’ve looked appalled because Tove hurried to explain. “That’s the way the Queen sees it . The way Trylle society sees it. And… if I’m being really honest, I agree with them.”

“You can’t really believe that my life has more value simply because I’m a Princess?” I asked. “The trackers are living in squalor, and we expect them to die for us.”

“They’re not living in squalor, but you’re right. The system is totally messed up,” Tove said. “Trackers are born into a lifetime of debt simply because they’re born here, and not left somewhere out in the world collecting an inheritance. They are indentured servants, which is just a polite name for slaves. And that is not right at all.”

It wasn’t until Tove said it that I realized that’s exactly what it was. The trackers were little more than slaves. I felt sick.

“But you do need guards,” Tove went on. “Every leader in the free world has bodyguards of some kind. Even pop stars have them. It’s not a horrible thing.”