Trudi Canavan - The Rogue

Soft, slippery cloth cascaded over Lilia’s head and tumbled toward the floor, but at the last moment it was pulled tight at her waist and swung into artful folds. Naki stepped back.

“It fits perfectly.” There was amusement and annoyance in her voice, and she crossed her arms and affected a pout. “It’s not fair. I’ve grown out of everything, and there’s no point giving it to you because we’ll never get to wear gowns again.” Then she smiled. “You look great. Go take a peek in the mirror.”

Lilia approached the mirror hesitantly and stared at herself. She didn’t quite fill out the chest of the dress, but that could be fixed with some padding. Though she had often seen her former employer’s wife and daughters dressed so fancily, she would have never dared try on their clothing.

“You look beautiful,” Naki said, coming up behind Lilia. She placed her hands on Lilia’s shoulders. Her fingers were cold, and sent a shiver down Lilia’s spine. She remembered what Madie and Froje had said about her new friend, then quickly pushed the thought away.

Naki frowned. “You’re all tense. What’s wrong? Is it uncomfortable?”

Lilia shook her head. “I feel … well … we’re doing something forbidden. Magicians are supposed to always wear robes.”

Naki’s lips curled into a mischievous grin. “I know. It’s kind of fun, isn’t it?”

Looking at her friend’s grin, Lilia could not help smiling. “Yes, but that’s only because nobody else can see us.”

“It’s our naughty secret,” Naki said, turning away. She stooped to grab the hem of her dress and hauled it up and over her head in one movement. Underneath she was wearing only an undershift, and Lilia quickly averted her eyes.

“In fact, you should do something really naughty,” Naki continued as she shrugged into her novice overrobe. “Then you’ll be able to do mildly naughty things like this and not get all uptight about it.” She paused to think, then grinned. “I know just the thing. Stay there. I’ll be right back.”

Naki disappeared through the main door to her bedroom. Taking the opportunity to change while her friend wasn’t watching, Lilia slipped off the dress and hurriedly changed into her robes. As she was tying the sash, Naki returned carrying a small black object. She held it up with a triumphant flourish.

It was like a metal bird cage, only smaller and chunkier. Lilia stared at it in bemusement. Naki laughed. She gave the cage a direct look, and smoke began curling out of the openings. Understanding came to Lilia in a rush of realisation, dismay and curiosity.

“It’s a roet brazier!”

“Of course.” Naki rolled her eyes. “You’re so innocent, Lilia. It’s hard to believe you are a daughter of a servant family.”

“My family’s employer didn’t approve of roet.”

Naki shrugged. “Lots of people don’t. They don’t trust new things. Eventually they’ll see that roet isn’t any worse than wine – and in some ways is better. You don’t get hangovers.” She began scooping the air toward herself and breathing deeply. After a few breaths she closed her eyes and sighed with appreciation. Her gaze was dark and seductive as she looked at Lilia, and beckoned. “Come closer. Try it.”

Lilia obeyed. She leaned toward the brazier and breathed deeply. A fragrant smoke filled her lungs. She coughed, and Naki covered her mouth and giggled. Instead of feeling hurt that her friend had laughed at her, Lilia found she didn’t mind. More smoke filled her chest. Her head began to spin.

“I found a great place for this last time,” Naki said, moving to her bed. She hung the brazier on a clothes hanger, pushing the dresses to the other end of the rail. Then she flopped on the bed.

Lilia laughed again. Turning to smile at her, Naki patted the bedcovers. “Come lie down. It’s very relaxing.”

To Lilia’s relief, the prospect of lying on a bed next to Naki roused only a mild, distant echo of the nervousness she would have once felt. She sank onto the mattress beside her friend.

“Still worried about getting into trouble?” Naki asked.

“No. Suddenly I don’t care about anything.”

“That’s what roet does. It stops you caring. Stops you worrying.” She turned her head to regard Lilia. “You seem worried a lot lately.”

“Yes.”

“What about?”

“The girls in my class. The ones that were my friends. They said things about you.”

Naki laughed. “I bet they did. What did they say?”

Why did I say that? Curse it. I can’t tell her … or can I? It would be good to know the truth … “That … that you like women. Instead of men. I mean …” Lilia took a deep breath and coughed again as the smoke filled her lungs. “I mean you prefer women lovers the way some men prefer male lovers.” She covered her mouth with a hand. Why did I do that? Why did I just blurt it out? Naki is going to hate me!

But Naki only laughed again. A carefree, mischievous laugh. “I bet that gave them interesting dreams for months.”

Lilia chuckled. She tried to imagine Froje and Madie daydreaming about … no, don’t think about it.

“You want to know if it’s true.”

Lilia blinked in surprise, then turned her head to look at Naki.

Her friend met her eyes and smiled. “It is. And it is for you, isn’t it? Or … you’re not sure.”

Face burning with sudden heat, Lilia looked away. “I …”

“Go on. You can tell me.”

“Well … I think so … um … any advice about that?”

Naki turned over and pushed herself up into a sitting position. “My advice is to not worry about it.” She reached up and unhooked the brazier. It had stopped smoking. “Women have fallen in love with women for centuries. Men always assumed they were just close friends. Which is the opposite to men, who can’t be close friends for fear others will think they’re really in love.” She giggled, then got off the bed and beckoned. “Girls like us can keep secrets easily because nobody pays us the attention they should. Let’s go to the library.”

Lilia sat up, then paused and closed her eyes as her head began to spin. “The library? Why the library? Why now?”

“Because there’s something I want to show you before Father gets home. I want some more roet.”

“You keep roet in the library?”

“Father does.”

“Your father uses roet?”

Naki gave a humourless laugh. “Of course he does.”

She led the way out of her rooms and through corridors and down staircases. Lilia wondered what time it was. Late enough that there were no servants about, it seemed.

“My father’s family have lots of sordid habits,” Naki said. “For my uncle it was girls. I don’t mean he likes women a lot. I mean he likes little girls. The servants knew and kept me out of his way whenever he came visiting. Father never believed me when I told him.”

Lilia shuddered. “That’s horrible.”

Naki glanced back and smiled, but her eyes were hard. “Oh, he paid for it in the end.” She turned away and stopped at a door. “Here we are.”

She pushed through the door into an enormous room. Lilia could not restrain a gasp as she took in all the shelves stuffed with books and rolls of paper. She had learned quickly that Naki thought that appearing to be too interested in study was boring, but she couldn’t contain her awe and delight now.

“I thought you’d like it.”

Lilia looked at Naki, who was grinning widely, and pretended to look embarrassed.

Naki laughed. “You’re a terrible actor. Come see something.”

She headed for a glass-topped side table. Lilia saw that the glass covered a drawer-like cavity filled with very old books, scrolls, a few sculptures and some jewellery. Naki ran her hand down the narrow side. There was a soft click.