David Zindell: Lord of Lies

'The castle was taken through treachery,' I said to Lord Tomavar. 'It was Lansar Raasharu who betrayed us in becoming a ghul.'

I told him what I knew of ghuls: that a man's soul could not be seized against his will but only surrendered.

'All men, when put to the fire, will break in the end,' I said. 'And so Lord Raasharu deserves our pity more than our blame. But this great man was reduced to being Morjin's eyes, hands and mouthpiece. It was Morjin's words that Lord Raasharu spoke to me, not Asaru's. Lies, they were. And so believing that my brother was king, what else was there to do but to obey his command?'

'You should have obeyed your father's command,' Lord Tomavar said. 'You were to remain and guard the castle — and with good reason it was you he chose for this chatge. For the castle was surely taken through Morjin's sorcery. The gates must have been thrown open by guards maddened by Morjin's illusions. But it is known that Valashu Elahad has gained the power to defeat such illusions. If you hadn't abandoned your post, then Morjin never would have ravaged as he did. The only treachery I see here is yours in putting glory before duty.'

My face was beginning to burn, but not from the heat of the long day's sun. I said to Lord Tomavar, 'You have suffered terrible loss today, as have many of us. Who could think clearly after the maddening things that we have seen? But I ask you to think of this: why would Lord Raasharu have left the battle if not to deceive as he did?'

Lord Tomavar summoned forward one of the master knights behind him. This was a stolid man with a square jaw and sad, dark eyes full of death. I remembered that his name was Sar Aldelad.

'Tell us,' Lord Tomavar said to him, 'what Lord Raasharu told you.'

Sar Aldelad bowed his head to him and addressed the nearby lords and knights: 'As Lord Raasharu was riding off the field, he told me that King Shamesh had sent him back to the castle to request that Lord Valashu send a company of knights to aid us.'

'Another lie!' I said. 'Lord Raasharu lied to Sar Aldelad, as he lied to me.'

'Is it indeed a lie?' Lord Tomavar said to me. 'That word falls too easily off your tongue.'

'My father would never have sent away his greatest lord in the middle of a battle!'

'He might have,' Lord Tomavar said, 'if he needed to choose someone whom you would trust absolutely. And you did trust him, didn't you? And then betrayed that trust by deciding to lead the company of knights yourself?'

'No, it was not so!' I cried out. 'I did trust Lord Raasharu, but he betrayed me, as he did everyone standing here and all of Mesh!'

Lord Tomavar shook his long head back and forth. The ribbons tied to his long hair rustled against each other. Then he gathered in all the scorn in his powerful voice as he called out 'You should be ashamed to slander such a great man who was so faithful to your father — and to you. Lord Raasharu is dead, in defense of your castle, and so he cannot defend himself against your wanton accusations.' 'All that I have told here today is true!' 'Is it? And who is left alive to confirm your story?' As it happened, neither Sar Vikan nor any of the knights in his company had heard Lansar Raasharu request my presence on the battlefield. But one man had.

'All that Lord Valashu said is true!' a great voice boomed out. Maram strode forward like a great bear and stood in front of Lord Tomavar. 'I was present at the gate with him and Lord Raasharu.'

Lord Tomavar nodded his head to him. 'Everyone knows what a faithful friend you have been to Lord Valashu. Perhaps too faithful.' 'Are you calling me a liar?' Maram bellowed out. His face flushed deep red and seemed to burn through the brown curls of his beard. His hand fell upon the hilt of his sword. He would have to be mad to draw upon lord Tomavar But it seemed that he might for the hellish furnace of war had forged him into more of a Valari knight than even he suspected,

'No, I would never call you a liar,' Lord Tomavar said. 'But in the heat of the moment, with the news of the battle, you might easily have misheard Lord Raasharu's words. And so there Is no dishonor in that.'

'I did not mishear him!' Maram called out. 'As for my own honor, I'm not concerned. But you should not stain the honor of my friend. Val has told you nothing but the truth! He's the most truthful man I know — sometimes too damn truthful! He would never lie!'

Lord Tomavar stood very still as he glared at me. With his diamond armor and face all smeared with blood, as he gathered in all his wrath, he was terrible to behold. And then, like a crack of thunder, he cried out; 'In Tria, when Lord Valashu was asked if he was the Maitreya, he affirmed that he was. Thus his honor is already stained with the shame of this lie if no other.'

After that Lord Tomavar fell quiet, and so did Maram — and everyone else assembled there. Now there was truly nothing more to say.

The sun finally disappeared behind the mountains, and a shadow fell upon the field. I felt the eyes of thirteen thousand warriors burning into me, I could not move; I did not want to breathe. I stood ensnared in a web of evil, lies and great blame.

Then Lord Tanu, true to the ancient forms, called out: 'Who will draw his sword to Lord Valashu as King?'

As with a single motion, with the ringing of steel like the rush of a cold wind, five thousand knights and warriors drew their swords to me. They held their bright kalamas pointing at me like so many rays of light. But eight thousand men did not draw their swords. And so I could not be King of Mesh.

I tried to keep my face as stern as those of the lords and master knights standing near me I slipped the great ring from my finger and for a moment held it tight inside my fist. And then I cast it down into the grass. I turned about so that no one could see the shame burning my face and the tears in my eyes. I began walking north, toward the woods that edged the Culhadosh Commons. I was only faintly aware of Altaru nickering as he followed after me and my friends and their horses as well. I moved without purpose or destination, I wanted only to keep on walking, through the Valley of the Swans and out of Mesh, until I walked right off the edge of the world.

After the burials, we took shelter on Lord Harsha's farm eight miles farther up the valley. Forest surrounded his fields on three sides, affording us a sense of isolation. Atara, Liljana and Estrella settled into one room of Lord Harsha's stout, stone house, while Maram, Kane, Master Juwain, and Daj shared two others. 1 spread out my cloak on some clean straw in the barn, next to the stalls of Lord Harsha's gray mare and his other horses. Behira, having finished with her duties with the wounded from the battle, prepared us meals of good, solid Meshian fare: bacon, eggs and hotcakes in the morning; beef and barley soup for lunch; lamb roasts with herbs and potatoes for supper. I could hardly eat any of it. Liljana, who helped with the cooking, kept urging upon me these tasty viands; she told me that I must at least try to strengthen my body for what was to come.

'It's an old saying of our Sisterhood,' she told me. 'Nourish the body, and the spirit will flourish.'

And I told her: 'We of Mesh say that the spirit alone gives the body life.'

I thought of my grandmother's fierce will to speak with me before she died, and I knew this was true.

For most of five days, I lay as one dead in the half-darkness of the barn, listening to the chickens squawk, breathing in the scent of straw, manure and old wood. I watched a spider weave an elaborate web between the rafters above me. I tried not to think of what I had seen in the ruins of my family's burnt-out castle. I dwelled on all the deeds of my life. My friends, in their wisdom, left me alone.