Iain McKinnon - Remains of the Dead

“How you feeling?” he asked the groggy Cahz.

“What happened?” Cahz asked, still dazed.

“You stood up and passed out,” Ryan said. “I dragged you in here.”

“How long?”

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. “I guess thirty minutes.” He held out a bare wrist. “I don’t have a watch.”

Cahz started to sit up.

“Not so fast, tiger,” Ryan said. “I put another bandage on top of the one over your bite. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? I mean it was Ray who knew about the first aid stuff; he’d done a course at work or something.”

Cahz looked down at his injured arm. The second bandage bulged and looked ugly, but it was still white and clean with no signs of the blood soaking through.

“Um, yeah.” Cahz thought back to his battlefield training. “If the blood is saturating the bandage you shouldn’t remove it; just put a fresh one on top.”

“You should drink something,” Ryan said. “I’m guessing you’ve lost more blood than you thought.”

“Yeah,” Cahz agreed, still feeling groggy.

Slowly he eased himself to his feet, his head swimming.

“You’ve cleaned up that graze,” he said, nodding to Ryan’s face.

He trudged over to the kitchen sink. There was a row of three open and empty tins on the counter. Out of instinct Cahz turned the tap on. There was a shudder and a hiss of air but no water.

“Used some of the water from the camel pack.” Ryan looked up at the sink. “You’ll not get anything from there.”

Cahz looked up from the dry sink and out of the window.

Cannon was still lying in the backyard. The rain had soaked his uniform and washed the blood clean into the grass.

Cahz stared at the body. His breathing was heavy and laboured. He looked at his dead friend, the only constant in his life these past five years. The big, quiet, reliable soldier. A physical giant. A tower of muscle and stoic reserve.

Cahz was dumbfounded.

“Why’d he do it?” Ryan asked, breaking the long silence.

“Cause he couldn’t live with himself, I guess.”

Cahz turned and sat down next to Ryan.

Ryan offered up an open tin of cold beans.

“The cans are still okay,” Ryan offered in way of assurance. “I’ve scoffed some already.”

Cahz accepted the can robotically. Ryan held up a spoon and plopped it into the can.

Cahz stared down at the juicy beans swimming in the thick orange sauce. He didn’t feel much like eating.

“Why now?” Ryan asked.

“There’s a dead child in there.” Cahz nodded over to the kitchen door. “I never knew he was a dad. I never knew anything about him. I just figured he’d tell me if he wanted.” He wiped his nose with his good arm. “We all had shit to deal with. We all lost someone.”

Ryan nodded.

“I never knew how close he was,” Cahz went on, staring absently at his beans. “It just happened so fast I didn’t have time to stop him.”

“Who can blame him?” Ryan said. “I’ve seen a lot of suicides. We had four the first summer. Then there are the people who got themselves killed on purpose. You know the kind who would take ridiculous risks.”

Cahz nodded.

“There were these two guys, blond floppy hair young blokes. Looked alike, think they were at college together,” Ryan explained. “We called them the Hanson brothers-you know, like the band.” When Cahz didn’t respond Ryan continued, “They were convinced they could go get help. In the end it wasn’t worth trying to talk them out of it. We helped them leave just so they wouldn’t do anything stupid that affected us-you know, burst the gate open or some such.”

Cahz set the untouched can of beans on the floor.

“We need to keep moving,” he said.

“Where to?”

“Somewhere we can secure,” Cahz said. “Somewhere a chopper can land.”

“Rebecca,” Ryan said.

“What?”

“That’s what I’m going to call her.”

Ryan looked down at the baby. The girl was awake, but placid no doubt after a feed. There was a little speck of mashed-up cracker at the corner of her mouth. Her wide eyes caught Cahz’s.

“Rebecca,” he ran the name round. “Rebecca. It’s a nice name. Any significance?”

“I’d thought of Hope or Miracle,” Ryan said, frowning. “You know, ‘cause she wasn’t infected. But…”

“Yeah, a bit much,” Cahz agreed, sensing Ryan’s disapproval of the names.

“Then I remembered Sam had mentioned she liked it,” Ryan explained. “I thought that was a bit more appropriate. I mean she’s going to have it for the rest of her life.”

Cahz levered himself up on the kitchen counter and made for the back door.

Ryan gently lifted the newly named child into the papoose.

“Wait for me,” he said.

Cahz paused. “Wait here a minute.”

Ryan watched out of the rain-splashed window as Cahz walked up to the corpse of his dead comrade.

“You stupid big bastard,” Cahz cursed as he sat down next to the body. He reached over and started tugging at the straps on his body armour.

“Why’d you do it?” Cahz asked the dead man. “You could have talked to me.”

Although the fastenings came away easily, the unresponsive corpse made removing the equipment hard going. Cahz gently slapped Cannons cheek as if he was trying to wake him. The skin was already cold, drained of heat as well as life.

“After all the shit we’ve been though and you leave me in the middle of this.”

Cahz undid the neck protection and left it to one side.

He stood up and switched positions to stand over Cannon’s corpse. With a hand on each shoulder he pulled the body armour free. There was a squelch as the material slid over the raw exit wound. The limp body slumped back into the grass.

“Remember the first day we met?” Cahz asked, patting down the pockets on Cannon’s fatigues. “No you don’t, ‘cause your brains are splattered all over this lawn. I’ll remind you: I was scared shitless. There was me, the Captain and a couple of other grunts who’d made it out of Nelson. And all those fuckin’ yahoo civvies. And there you were, being ignored and avoided. You didn’t seem to care; you just kept your mouth shut and tagged along.”

Cahz stood up, the rain splashing across his face.

“I ignored you-had no idea you were ex-military. I mean, who would have? You saved my life that first night, man. I wish you’d given me the chance to repay you.”

Shroud

“Put this on,” Cahz said, handing Ryan the body armour and helmet.

Ryan looked at the bloodstains on the neck and shoulders.

“I’ll pass,” he said.

“You’ll put it on,” Cahz said, shoving it at Ryan.

“Watch it!” Ryan blurted, shielding Rebecca from Cahz’s aggression.

“Just put it on.”

“It’s covered in-”

“I’m doing my best to keep you alive. Now put it on. It’ll protect you from being bitten.” Cahz thrust the armour into Ryan’s shoulder.

Ryan took a step back, knocked off balance by the shove.

“All right,” he gave in, laying the baby down to take the armour. “You going to show me how to use the big gun then?”

“No,” Cahz said.

“Why not?”

“Just because. You are not using it.”

“Why don’t you use the machine gun and I use your rifle?”

“Where do I start?” Cahz shrugged.

“Why not?”

Cahz wore a blank, weary expression. “For a start, the SAW is a squad support weapon. We are not a squad. We’re two men and a fuckin’ baby.”

“Well, it still fires bullets,” Ryan said.

“Second, my ‘rifle’ is a carbine and yes, they both fire fuckin’ bullets, but they both need training to use. It’s not like the nun chucks on your pissy Wii.”