J. King: Conspiracy

"She's inflatable," Rings supplied in a rush.

Shar glared at the dwarf.

"Inflatable?" Noph wondered aloud, staring.

Shar's irritation turned on him.

"Yes, indeed," Rings gabbled. "Saved us all from drowning. We just held onto Shar and floated from the burning Shark."

"My word," said Noph, still staring.

"And that's not the half of it," Belgin continued. "She became large enough to catch wind, and carried us on a collision course with the Black Dragon."

Noph looked up at last. "What about the ballistae? Didn't they keep shooting ballistae at you?"

"Too frightened, my boy," Belgin said smoothly. "By this time Shar was enormous, you understand. Any pirate who saw her attacking his ship would think he was being boarded by Umberlee the Bitch Queen, herself."

"And Redbeard being a virgin and all-" Rings added.

"A virgin?"

"The man had no more keel than a dinghy," Ingrar added with such calm aplomb he seemed almost mournful.

"I, on the other hand, supplied the raft of us with a right impressive keel," Belgin boasted.

"A daggerboard, if you ask me," Rings replied.

"And you would know, sinking like an anchor," Belgin sneered. "Dwarves, you'll find, son, float like stones- and are just as dense."

"What did you do when you reached the Black DragonT Noph asked, looking with new admiration at Shar.

Her initial consternation was giving way to amusement. Flicking a smile toward Artemis, who irritably endured it all, Shar leaned her legendary weapons against Noph and said, "I crushed them!"

Noph recoiled slightly, his eyes wide. "A virgin pirate, crushed in the bosoms of Umberlee!" he croaked out in amazement. "That sure is some swash and buckle!"

This final naive comment was too much for any of them, and the pirates exploded with laughter, lifting their flagons in a salute.

Noph scratched his head. "You killed Captain Redbeard and his whole crew and sank his ship when Shar inflated herself?"

The Sharkers nodded, struggling to stifle their mirth.

"Of course not," said Entreri irritably. "The only ship destroyed that night was the Kissing Shark, the only thing inflated was this ridiculous story, and the only crew slain were the Sharkers, with seven liars swimming ashore."

Noph blushed at the reprimand. "Seven? That's you four, plus Anvil, and two others. Who were the other two?"

The pirates' countenances lost their mirth. There was silence for a moment. Then Belgin said, "Well, there was Brindra, a good comrade of all of us, whom we lost battling a fiend beyond the city walls. And there was Kurthe. He was killed by this man, here, in fair combat." He stared hard at the impassive face of Entreri for a moment, then turned back to Noph. "Kurthe was a Konigheimer, big and tough, and had it in his head he was our leader. Master Entreri disagreed."

"What about your captain-Captain Blackfingers?" asked Noph. "Did he die, too?"

"No-well, yes. It's hard to say," Belgin hedged, hiding his expression behind the lifted flagon. "I'd not be surprised if the captain made a return, here, sometime soon."

"You might as well tell him," said Ingrar. "Master Entreri has taken Kurthe's place, and maybe this lad can take the place of Anvil or Brindra. If not, the captain is as good as dead, anyway."

"What are you talking about?" asked Entreri coldly.

Belgin blinked. He glanced soberly at his comrades and gestured to them. "We, such as we are, are Captain Blackfingers Ralingor."

"What?" asked Noph. "All of you, together?"

"We seven," Ingrar said, and the others nodded. "A kind of joint-stock company."

Noph was now thoroughly confused. "You mean there never was any Captain Blackfingers? You made him up?"

Rings glanced at Shar. "No, there was such a man. But he died, and we didn't want to spread it around. So Belgin here came up with the idea of pretending he was still alive."

Entreri's features darkened. "Interesting that you kept this from me all this while."

It was Shar who responded, her voice silky and reproving. "Just as you kept your identity secret from us."

"So, that is why Redbeard was so keen on slaying you. He knew who you were," Entreri said.

"Aye," the dwarf replied sullenly. "The good captain did many offenses to earn Redbeard's wrath."

Belgin nudged the dwarf. "Including giving him the scare that turned his famous beard white-"

Rings reddened, holding back laughter. "It seems the man wasn't prepared for a dwarf to crawl up his privy, while he was… enthroned. I still miss that spiked helmet."

The group laughed heavily, except for Entreri, who kept his eyes on Sharessa, his lips drawn in a tight line. The dwarf, tears wringing from the creases of his eyes, called for another round.

"Well, I'll happily take the place of Brindra or Anvil, or both," Noph said. "I'm one of you, now. I'm part of Captain Blackfingers!"

"Not so fast, lad. You've got to prove yourself. There's a kind of initiation to pass before you can become a part of this legend," Shar said.

"Did Master Entreri pass the initiation?"

"Sure," Shar said, peering at her employer. Her voice dripped contempt. "The main test and more. He's a true pirate, a swashbuckling rogue-that's him."

"Well, then," Noph said, drawing himself up with a breath, "I'm ready, whatever the test might be."

Shar stroked his chin. "Let's see, the first measure of a pirate's got to be his sea legs. The only way to test that's to clamber the lines during the height of a midnight storm. Not just the ratlines, now, but the shrouds and stays. I mean shinny out to the tip of the forespar, climb the ropes to all the spars of the foremast, and all of the mizzen, and main, and the stern mast, and back down the sheet to the tiller. Mind you, the tops've got to be rolling and pitching within inches of a fifty-foot sea on both sides the whole time."

"And then," said Rings, "you've got to go below to the bilges and sleep half-sunk in that icy, sloshing mess."

"And if you're not asleep before the storm's done, you've got to wait for the next midnight squall and do it all over."

Noph looked green. "Master Entreri did this?"

"Oh, yes, all the while the Black Dragon was tailing us, he did. And more," Ingrar replied, somewhat truthfully.

Noph glanced admiringly at Entreri, who ignored him. "That's just to test your sea legs," continued Shar. "But a pirate's not just a seaman. A pirate's got to be as loyal to his mates as he is vicious to his foes. To be a pirate, you've got to kill a dozen of the crew's enemies, all with your bare hands."

"And immersed in freezing water," piped up Belgin.

"With sharks and barracudas in it," added Rings.

Noph swallowed audibly. His voice was weak. "And Master Entreri did all this?"

"Oh, yes. Once we landed here in Doegan, he began slaying fiends, on land, in air, in freezing water. If it hadn't been for him, we'd all be dead tentimes over."

Noph nodded. "That's a tall order."

"It gets taller," said Shar. "A pirate's not just a seaman who knows his friends from his enemies. A pirate's also an incomplete creature-missing part of himself."

"You mean, like a wooden leg or a hook or something?"

"Well, yes. Or something even dearer. All of us has had a chunk ripped away."

"It's usually the softest part that gets torn out," Belgin said, "your heart or your head or your stomach or your guts or your spleen-"

"What part was it for you, Belgin?" asked Noph.

The gambler hissed a sigh. "I don't know what organ you'd call it, but it's the part that used to feel surprise, awe, wonder-the part that responds when you confront something bigger than you could've imagined. I'm not surprised by anything, now. You could rip off your skin and emerge a crocodile, and in the middle of biting off my head, I'd think, 'Hmm, the boy turned out to be a crocodile.'"