Jeff Inlo - Pure Choice

"What's bothering me is that people died tonight!"

Shocked, Ryson's own emotions bubbled over.

"They didn't die because I wouldn't let you kill the rogues!"

"How do I know that? My soldiers were watching you streak across town with your sword like a blasted comet!"

"You're the one that told me to use the sword as a signal."

"Because you wouldn't let me use archers to take the monsters out as quickly as possible!"

"You're not making any sense! You asked me to find them and I did. I still would have had to signal for your troops… even if I let them shoot the rogues. I would have been a distraction either way!"

"But it would have been quicker! You added to the distraction by forcing us to use nets, and you put more soldiers at risk than necessary. I heard about the corporal!"

"Don't even think about hanging that on me! What happened to him was his own blasted fault!"

"Like I said before, I'll take responsibility for the failings of my soldiers, but that's still not the issue!" The captain paused, caught his passions.

Despite Klusac's presence, the conversation had eclipsed combative. It was becoming an angry shouting match. Sy didn't want that. He wasn't trying to rebuke a soldier, he was hoping to get a trusted friend to realize just how dangerous certain decisions had become. They lived in difficult times that required hard decisions and harder actions. None of them had the luxury of making every choice that would fit their particular preferences, and the captain tried to refocus on the true matter of contention.

After taking a heavy breath, he pointed to the war blades that Ryson wore at his hips. "I gave you those blades when you lost your sword. You took them because you knew that sometimes weapons are necessary. I don't give orders because I like to tell people what to do. I do it because they trust me to keep this town safe. I do it because it's necessary. We have to defend ourselves."

Ryson looked down at the blades at his sides as he also tried to find a calmer tone. He understood what Sy was stating, but he had his own perspective on the matter.

"You're right. I still wear these blades… just in case. They're not enchanted. There's very little I can do with them… other than kill."

Ryson took his own heavy breath and then explained how he saw the truth. "Not so long ago, they were taken away from me by a bunch of separatist dwarves that wanted to kill me. I could have left them behind after that, never picked them up again. I had the excuse, but you know what? I retrieved them. I retrieved them because I understand exactly what you're saying."

"Do you? Because I'd like to see you use those blades once in a while."

"That's exactly my point; I did use them once, once when there was no other choice. I killed shags by the hundreds… actually, probably more like the thousands. Sometimes it keeps me up at night when I think of how many lives I ended in the desert sand."

"You killed shags during a battle. They're just monsters and they were there to kill you."

"They were monsters to me. To them, maybe I'm the monster. But yes, they were there to kill me, and also to kill innocent algors. As hollow as it sometimes sounds, I justify what I did by saying that to myself over and over again… that if I didn't kill them they would have killed me… they would have killed me and I don't know how many innocent algors. I killed because I really didn't have a choice. That's my line in the sand… when there's no other choice."

"I have to make choices, too," Sy noted. "Some of us can't draw a line in the sand because other people are depending on us to make the hard choices. Some of us can't afford to take the easy way out."

The delver stared into the captain's face with pure disbelief. It felt as if he had been stabbed, and his emotions began to erupt once more. The calm tone left his voice as the accusation sliced into Ryson's core.

"The easy way out?! You're kidding right?"

"No, I'm not. I'm telling you how it is."

"You think it's easy? Easy would have been to do exactly what you wanted me to do! I could have simply allowed you to make the decision for me. Easy would have been for me to find the blasted rogues, point to them, let your guards shoot them down, and then just forget it ever happened."

Ryson almost shook with fury. He could barely stand still. He looked from the captain to the sergeant and then back again. He saw defiance in both their expressions, a total unwillingness to accept the delver's viewpoint.

"Easy?" Ryson questioned. "You think it's easy to try and do what's right? You think it's easy to live with making that kind of decision day after day? Let me tell you about a hard choice. You're going to let three rogues loose down river because I told you to. I have to live with that! They still have to eat. They have to kill something. You think that's easy to wipe out of my mind?"

"Hey, if you're upset over this, it's your own fault!"

"My fault?! You really are narrow-minded. I didn't bring the blasted rogues to this world. All I'm trying to do is set a standard for myself. None of it makes any sense to me."

Just like Ryson, Sy's emotions bubbled to the surface once more and his frustrated tone returned.

"Sense? You're trying to find sense in all of this? Good luck! You keep looking at these monsters as some kind of innocent bystanders, like maybe a herd of deer in the forest. I see them for what they are… a dangerous threat, total insanity that decided to enter our lives. There's no sense to it. This is about doing our duty, doing what's best for the town, not about trying to make sense of it all."

"That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard you say! Your duty better make sense. If it doesn't, you should step down right now. And don't start giving me that 'best for the town' nonsense. Maybe it would be best for the town if I just went out and killed every small time thief out there. Put the fear of Godson in them. Hey, if I should kill a river rogue, why not a human thief?"

And with that, all attempts at civility dissolved.

"And that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," Sy countered. "There's no comparison!"

"There's not? Maybe not to you, but there is to me. If I start killing indiscriminately, then why stop at river rogues? I might as well just start killing anything that starts annoying me."

"That's also idiotic!" Sy replied. "How can you possibly say that? You think that fighting off rogues-killing them when it's necessary, when they invade our town-is the same as indiscriminate killing?"

"I thought we were talking about choices, the choices we have to make in life. I have to make a choice about where I draw the line. That's what I'm talking about. And if you'd think clearly for a minute, you'd understand. How many times have you told me people have to live with the choices they make? We can't save everyone, especially from themselves… I've heard that from you as well. But at the same time you expect them all to follow orders. That's rather inconsistent."

"I don't see it that way. People have to be held accountable for their actions."

"Accountable? How can they be held accountable if they're just following orders, doing what you tell them to do?"

Sy suddenly felt the need to defend himself. The issue had changed from Ryson's unwillingness to compromise to whether or not Sy was acting as some kind of tyrant.

"We need order here!"

"So which is it? Order or freedom to choose?"

"You can have both!" the captain declared, fiercely defending both his honor and his methods. "I don't interfere with people's lives. Every order I give is based on keeping this town safe. That's what I'm charged with, that's what the people of this town want me to do! You want to question my orders? Fine. I'm not happy about it, but I can take questions, I can even take criticism. What I cannot take, what I will not accept, is you putting your personal preferences over the safety of my soldiers and this town. That stops now!"