Jeff Inlo - Pure Choice

"Just say what you feel you have to say."

"They pulled emotions into me, not mine, but I could feel them… and I couldn't control them. I know Enin called it spell residue, but that's not what I felt. I felt someone else's… I don't know what to call it, 'will' maybe. It was the way they shaped the magic, but there was no magic to shape when it came inside of me. It was so strange."

"I imagine it had to be."

"But what was worse was it flooded my emotions. Everything became so scattered inside of me. Those creatures, I could feel them eating it all, taking it from me, but not all at once. Everything just bubbled to the surface. I was afraid, I was confused, I was even exhilarated, but mostly I was angry, but it wasn't really me. Well, the emotion wasn't mine."

"But a lot of the things you said were the truth," Ryson acknowledged with a knowing glance. It hurt for the delver to admit it, but he wouldn't hide from the truth. "I know you weren't the one responsible for all the emotions behind them, but the words… I heard every word you said. They didn't come from someone else. They were your words because they dealt with us and our situation, not someone else's."

Linda suddenly became very worried about where they were headed.

"No, that's not it."

"Don't worry," Ryson reassured his wife. "Like I said, I understand more than you know."

"But you need to know what it's really about," Linda implored. "The words might have been mine, but they didn't carry what I really felt. Words can be… confusing, especially when I was so out of control. I never wanted to hit you and I never meant to say the things I did."

"I realize that, but certain things came out. The emotions weren't yours, I know that, and you weren't in control. I know that, too, but there are things we have to face."

Linda stared down at the floor, but only for a moment. She looked back into her husband's eyes and decided to deal with the truth.

"I get lonely."

"I know. I didn't realize how much… until this all happened."

"I've gotten used to it. I'm able to deal with it."

"But when you lost control of your emotions, it all came out… and we shouldn't hide from it."

"I don't like it when you leave," Linda admitted. "And sometimes… sometimes I think you're more concerned with helping others than you are with taking care of me. Do you think that's selfish?"

"Not at all. If we're going to be truthful, then I have to admit I take you for granted. I'm grateful for the way you've dealt with being married to a delver. I probably don't say it as much as I should."

"I have accepted it, and I wouldn't change it," Linda admitted.

"I'm glad to hear that because I started to worry that you thought it was all a mistake."

"A mistake?"

"Yeah, a mistake for us to be together."

"Don't ever think that."

"We're being truthful, remember? That was what I worried about the most. I guess I still am. You tell me you don't want me to change, and I believe you, but I also realize just how lonely you are sometimes. It's a conflict that can't be resolved."

"But I know it's something I can live with," Linda stated.

"I don't want you to live with being unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy! I just want you to understand why I said those things to you."

"I know. It was the emotions…"

"It wasn't just that," Linda revealed. "I know we never made a decision about having children, but it was always in the back of my mind. It was something for me to fall back on. When it became clear that it could never happen, it hit me harder than I thought."

"I see."

"You said you were worried I might think it was a mistake for us to be together. I don't think I made a mistake, but…"

"But what?"

"But I wondered if we were supposed to be together. How could I not?"

Ryson nodded.

"I don't blame you," he admitted. "I thought about it, too. But I thought about every thing else as well. We've been through too much together and I realized it wasn't a mistake. Whether we can have kids or not isn't going to make or break us. And just because you're immune to magic, doesn't mean you're immune to me. We belong together because we do. I've accepted that. I hope you do, too."

"I have, but I want to make sure you see the whole picture."

"I do. I'm a delver, remember."

Linda couldn't help smiling and then she hugged her husband as hard as she could.

Ryson believed they had overcome the biggest obstacle, but he was not yet completely satisfied with the situation.

"We still have to deal with you being lonely. Where do we go from here with that?"

Linda stepped back. She almost spoke right out, but then held her voice. She hesitated for a few moments more and then decided to simply say what was on her mind and in her heart.

"Can we get a dog? Someone to keep me company while you're away? I've always loved dogs. I know you do, too. It would be good for us both."

Ryson smiled. He almost laughed out loud, but he didn't want Linda to think he was laughing at her… or her request. He thought it was a wonderful idea.

"Absolutely, I even know where we can get one. His name is Stomps." Ryson paused and then he did laugh. He thought about how things came into his life. It wasn't going to be a goblin or a river rogue, or even a sorcerer. It was going to be a dog named Stomps… and for some reason, Ryson believed that Stomps already knew what was going to happen. "You know, maybe that's what this was all about. I think we were supposed to get a dog, just like we were supposed to be together. We can make choices, and the right ones will bring us where we need to be. Come on, I'll introduce you to Stomps."