Sara Larson - Defy

He pulled back slightly, his gaze heated as he stared down at me. I was weak in his arms, struggling to breathe normally. “After my mother was killed, and then my brother, I swore I’d never let myself care about anyone again. I swore I’d never give anyone the power to hurt me like that again. But when I saw that man rushing at you yesterday, with his sword drawn … I realized it was too late.”

My heart constricted at the raw pain, the fear, the hope in his eyes, eyes that were like jewels in the dappled sunlight.

“It was too late,” he repeated, almost in a whisper, and then he bent his head down to mine again. This time, his kiss was gentler, deeper somehow. I could feel his desperation in the way he held me, in the way his lips moved with mine, making my heart ache and burn all at once.

“Alex!”

I froze at the sound of my name being shouted from the trees behind us, and we broke apart. I took a step back, lifting one of my hands up to my swollen lips.

“Alex!”

It was Rylan. About to find me — about to find us . He’d know. He’d know and there would be no going back. He’d never forgive me.

“Alexa.” Damian looked concerned. “What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t answer; I just shook my head. And then Rylan was there. He burst out of the trees and ground to a halt when he saw us both standing there, only a couple of feet apart. I had no idea what I looked like, what expression was on my face. But whatever he saw was enough. The concern on his face hardened into something else, something foreign.

“I was worried about you since you’re afr — hate the jungle so much, but obviously you’re just fine.” I’d never heard his voice so cold, and it turned the heat in my body to ice. But even in his anger, he kept his promise not to reveal my fear of snakes. “We’re leaving. Lisbet is preparing Tanoori for us to carry her again. Assuming you still wish to try and save her?”

“Of course,” I said, my voice shaky.

Anger rolled off him in waves. “That’s great. Carry on, then. Sorry for interrupting.” He turned on his heel and plunged back into the jungle the way he’d come, leaving me alone with Damian again, my stomach twisted into knots and my whole body trembling.

“Alexa, are you all right? What’s wrong?” Damian stepped toward me again, took my hand in his. I stared down at his fingers, laced through mine, and I almost cried again. I could no longer deny that I was falling for him — so fast and so hard, it scared me. But I had feelings for Rylan, too — he was the closest friend I’d had at the palace, next to my brother. And now he hated me.

I clenched my jaw to keep my emotions in check. I looked up at Damian, at the concern on his face, the worry in his eyes.

“Was I wrong to kiss you?”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “No,” I whispered. “I just don’t know what to do. You’re the prince .”

“We’ll figure it out. I won’t let anyone hurt you — not even my father. I promise.” He squeezed my hand and I tried to smile back as I let go.

“We’d better get back before Eljin threatens to kill me again and makes you break your promise,” I said, trying to keep my voice from trembling. I turned to walk away, but Damian grabbed my arm, pulling me gently back to him.

“Thank you,” he said softly as I stared up at him once more.

“For what?”

“For saving me — and I don’t just mean from that arrow.” He smiled, a soft, wistful smile. “It’s always been you, you know that, right? From the first moment I realized you were a girl — it was always you.”

My heart constricted as he pressed his lips to mine. Once. Twice. Just enough to make my pulse start to race again, and then he broke away. “All right, let’s go.” He sighed.

I turned to follow him with tears in my eyes.

AFTER THE LONGEST day of my life, trudging through the final stretch of jungle, carrying Tanoori on the same makeshift stretcher with Damian in front of me and Rylan across from me, we finally stopped for the night, near the border of Antion and Blevon. It was torture to be so close to Damian after our kiss, but unable to touch him, or even to talk to him. And the trip hadn’t improved Tanoori’s condition at all. I began to wonder if she really would make it. She thrashed several times during the day, making it even harder to carry her. I was so sore, I could barely move after we set her down on the ground next to where Lisbet was setting up her tent.

Eljin made us pitch our tents as close together as possible, and we weren’t allowed to light a fire. He stood with his back to us as we hurried to eat our cold dinner. What had once been a group of near fifty was closer to thirty-five after the attack. So many lives lost in the attempt to abduct the prince into enemy territory. I wondered again what Eljin and his followers hoped to accomplish. Were they going to demand King Hector pay ransom for his son?

“What’s he doing?” I heard Jax ask his mother, nodding toward Eljin. I leaned forward to listen for her answer as they finished tying their tent down for the night.

“He’s going to stand guard all night, and protect us if necessary.”

“In case another group from the army finds us?” Jax sounded scared.

“Yes. But you don’t need to worry. Eljin will make it so that they can’t see us.”

“But what if he falls asleep?”

“He won’t.”

I glanced back at Eljin, wondering what other powers he possessed. How could he keep an entire battalion from seeing us?

Then I noticed Rylan standing apart from the grouping of tents, near a copse of trees. It was strange to be out of the jungle, to see rolling fields of grass spreading gently downward, into the valley below. Although I hated the jungle, I was used to it; I felt exposed out here.

I glanced around but didn’t see Damian anywhere. Now was as good a time to approach Rylan as any, I supposed. We would be crossing into Blevon tomorrow and I had no idea what awaited us there. I figured I’d better talk to him in case I didn’t get another chance. Steeling my courage, I stood up and walked toward him.

He felt me coming — I could tell by the way he tensed up. But he didn’t turn to look at me. I stopped a few feet away, my little bit of bravery failing at the scowl on his face.

“What do you want, Alex?”

“Rylan, please don’t do this.” I moved so that I stood in front of him, forcing him to look at me.

“Do what? I’m not doing anything. I guess that’s my problem.”

“So that’s it? You’re not going to talk to me anymore?” I hesitantly reached for his arm, but he pulled away from my grasp.

“Oh, would you like me to jump into the fray? Do you want to turn it into a game? See who can catch you first? Me against a prince. I’m pretty certain I know how that would turn out.”

“No! That’s not what I meant,” I stammered, heat rising in my cheeks. “Rylan, I’m sorry I made you so mad. I’m sorry that I made you hate me. Apart from Marcel, you’ve been my closest friend for the last three years, and since he died, you’ve been my only friend. I don’t want to lose you.”

For the first time since his confession, Rylan’s expression softened a little. “I don’t hate you, Alex. And I’m not mad at you. I’m worried about you. And I’m suspicious of the prince.”

“Why?”

Rylan looked down at me silently for a moment, debating. “I’m not sure what his … intentions are,” he said slowly, his voice careful. “I’m afraid he’s using you for some reason, and I don’t want you to get hurt. But mostly, I’m mad at myself,” he rushed on when I tried to break in. “I was a fool not to tell you how I felt the moment you discovered I knew. I waited and I lost my chance.”