Sarah Durst - The Lost

“I left it with Prince Fluffernutter. He was scared.”

“Good. Can’t sleep, either?” I prop myself up onto my elbows. In the moonlight, her princess dress looks like it’s shimmery white, making her look ghostlike. Her face is in shadows, but I see the silhouette of strands of hair flying in all directions.

“It’s not that. I just thought you’d want to know that Peter is here.”

“Oh.” I process that information, trying to decide what it means that he came back. He wants to help me. He doesn’t hate me. Or he’s bored again and has nowhere else he wants to go. Or he plans to murder me in my sleep and display my head as a trophy on top of the eagle on the post office in the center of town... That last one seems unlikely. I decide I’m relieved that he’s back, whatever his intentions. “Thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome,” Claire says, always polite. “See you in the morning.”

“Good night.” I listen to her pad out of the room.

I lie awake a few minutes more, and then I dream of darkness and unfamiliar stars and my mother in a crisp, white hospital bed with calla lilies around her.

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

Peter squats at the foot of the bed like a raven perched on a post. His feet are bare and so is his chest. I stare, my eyes feeling thick and gummy, at the swirled tattoos on his chest.

He’s as beautiful as an angel.

Over his shoulder, I see Claire tiptoe into the room. She then lets out a squeal and launches herself at him. He whips around, and she tackles him in the stomach. The two of them tumble to the floor beyond the end of the bed, his coat flying around them like black wings. Both of them are laughing.

I feel an ache inside my ribs. It hurts like a fist clenched inside my chest. I can’t remember when I last laughed like that, free and wild, and for an instant, I wish I could forget home and Mom and work and my life and learn to laugh like that again.

I turn my head and look out the window. It’s streaked with dirt, but I can see the pale barely dawn sky outside. The horizon beyond the houses is tinted with lemon-yellow.

Of course I can’t stay. Stupid to even think it. Mom needs me, and a mob tried to kill me. I don’t need any more incentive than that to find a way home as quickly as possible.

Sitting up, I look around the bedroom. It’s coated in a layer of reddish dust—the dresser, the chair by the window, the headboard. The door to the closet is ajar, and I try to remember if it was open last night. I swing my legs out of bed and cross to it. The closet has a few suits and dresses hanging in it. I push them aside and reach in to touch the back wall of the closet. I don’t know what I expect to find. Secret passageway maybe. Narnia. The closet is large enough to hold someone, and there’s a pile of blankets at the base, curled like a nest, and I have a sudden—and crazy—suspicion. “Did you sleep in here?” I ask Peter.

Peter looks at Claire. “No?”

Claire giggles.

He’s like Peter Pan. A dark, mysterious, sexy, grown Peter Pan, who can somehow be dangerous and charming at the same time. I don’t know if he’s teasing me or Claire.

“You didn’t because that would be creepy,” I tell him firmly.

“He’s not creepy!” Claire cries. “Take that back!”

As graceful as a gymnast, he springs to his feet. His speed and strength are both clear in that single movement. “It’s all right, fierce princess. You don’t need to defend my honor. At least not before breakfast.”

Jumping up next to him, Claire claps her hands. “Ooh, breakfast!”

Peter shakes his head. “I’m not supplying breakfast—Goldilocks is, if she can find our porridge.” He grins broadly at me, looking as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. “Ready to begin your training?”

Standing, I tug down my shirt. The wrinkled white business shirt hits midthigh, thankfully, but I’m aware of his eyes on me as I glance out the window. I see houses that look as if they washed up on shore, jumbled together without streets. Debris is piled between them. I could have sworn this view was empty desert yesterday. “Ready to go home. And that’s not a whine. You want revenge on the Missing Man. What could mess with him more than sending home someone he didn’t want to send home?”

“Stayed up late thinking of that argument, didn’t you?”

“It’s a sound argument.”

“I told you, I’m the Finder. The Finder and the Missing Man, two sides of a coin, not the same. I bring them in, and he sends them on. I can’t send you home. But I can keep you alive.” He holds out his hand. “If you trust me.”

I don’t take his hand. “Did you sleep in my closet last night?”

He keeps his hand extended. “Do you trust me?”

It’s a line from a dozen romantic movies, and if I were the romantic sort, this is where I would swoon, take his hand, and pledge my devotion. I’m not romantic, but I’m also not stupid. So I take his hand and lie. “Yes.”

His face widens into a smile, and it’s like seeing the bright, spring sun after a dark, dismal winter. It washes over me, and I feel myself smiling back, even though I don’t intend to. He’s looking at me as if I’m all he sees in the world. If his smile is the sun, then his eyes make me think of the stars last night, spread like a million jewels across the sky. And then the moment is broken as he turns to Claire and asks, “Think we should have her kill a pig?”

I hope he’s joking. Please, let him be joking. “There’s a reason I live in the city. How about we hunt breakfast food? Like bagels. Or cereal.”

“Bacon?” he suggests.

“She’s not ready for the pigs.” Claire looks at me with her wide, guileless eyes. “If you see one of the pigs, climb. They can’t climb.” She’s serious.

He’s still holding my hand. His hand feels warm and strong—safe. I worm my hand out of his and remind myself that I’m not safe in any way. “Okay, you have feral dogs and feral pigs. What else should I watch out for here?”

Peter shrugs. “Everything. The void likes to deliver surprises.” He mimes a bomb shooting into the air and then exploding violently in front of him. “Of course, the worst is the void itself. Once you enter it, you can’t escape. Stay in it long enough, it will shred you like lettuce. Your very essence will fade to nothingness. Unless I find you first.”

Great. Just...great. I think of how I drove through it and shiver. Guess I’d been lucky.

“Treat it like quicksand,” he suggests. “Or a black hole. Never, ever enter it.”

“Let me shower first before I face black holes and hostile pigs.” I rifle through a dresser drawer. I take a blue shirt with spaghetti straps plus a pair of jeans. The jeans are three sizes too big, but I can roll up the legs and cinch the waist with a belt, if I can find a belt.

“Good idea. Can’t have you frightening away breakfast.” He teases as if he’s known me for years, as if he is someone I can trust. But he isn’t. I don’t know him. Or Claire. And I don’t—can’t—want to stay with them, even if I’m more afraid of facing what will happen at home than facing the mob in town.

Cradling the clothes like they’re fragile, I head to the bathroom, fleeing Peter, Claire, and my thoughts. Towels, neatly folded, dotted with mold, hang on the racks. The walls are mottled with mold as well, especially on the wallpaper nearest to the bathtub. But in the daylight the toilet and sink are okay. I turn on the sink faucet. Brown water rushes out. I wait for it to clear and then I splash water on my face.

I look like a ghost in the murky mirror, and for an instant I wonder: Is this real? Am I real? Taking the least molded towel, I wipe the mirror until I can see myself clearly.