Carola Dibbell - The Only Ones

The first one said but watch out for Hygiene. Your kid could get something from some other kid who had something. I didn’t even know there was enough kids to get anything from.

Whatever I do, both mothers agree, don’t let them give my kid the shot for Mumbai. It is experimental. Maybe she won’t get Mumbai. But she’ll get something else. They call it Stealth Virus. You end up with challenged Immune and that will cause problems as bad as Mumbai. She won’t be able to have her own baby.

As far as I heard, she wouldn’t be the only one. But I did not say that. I mean, I got no idea how these mothers got theirs.

One of them peeked outside. The cops was gone. The mothers left one by one, with their kids. I was the last to go.

After that, I walked all the way back to this same cemetery toilet a few times to see if these regular mothers were there. I don’t even think it’s to compare. I just wanted to see them. They never showed.

Two months old. Still alive.

Here is what I worry about now. Should we get the Check Up? Ani was alive and all but cried so much.

Here is what I worry about next.

What if they make her take a shot?

She’s a Sylvain hardy, come on! She is not getting Stealth or any kind of virus.

It could work the other way though. Hardies don’t get anything if we don’t have a shot. What if we do?

I had a shot when I did vaccine trials. I wasn’t a baby when I took the shot though. I was thirteen years old. That I heard.

Ani is two months, one week old and crying night and day.

When she is two months, one week, four days old, and crying so hard I almost thought one of us is going to pop, I put her in my shirt and walked to Ridgewood. You have to go on Grandview Avenue. The trip took like one hour, and you pass a lot of empty houses, most of them not even burnt, and when I finally get to Myrtle Avenue, so many mothers is lined up I could hardly even believe my eyes, though with the Hygiene thing, they are so wrapped up you could not see them or the kid. The nurse at least just wears a mask when she calls out, “Ladies! Behave!” because they are all pushing and shoving. “There is a pile of free Process, just hand in your swipe and your child’s swipe for ID check,” and I’m like, ID%L going to ed all the 9H check? I’m not doing that. I just squeezed through the line, grabbed Process from the pile and ran. Another mother did too. We ran to Grandview Avenue. The other mother sat down on a curb, pulled her wrappings off and fed her kid green Process with her hand. I did too. Ani stopped crying. She slept all the way home.

She cried again when we are back in our unit. I gave her more Process, with my hand. It wasn’t hard at all.

She cried again.

I gave her more.

Cry. More. Cry. More.

This time it didn’t work. She wouldn’t take green Process. She just cried. I mean, she really cried. It is late now, night. She didn’t stop crying once. I just walked right out in the night with her crying, all the way back to the Center. It was closed. I walked around the whole building with Ani crying and thrashing till somebody comes to the door. I don’t even know who she is. She says her name is Sonia and she is a nurse. I don’t even know if she is. She puts her hand on Ani’s head, then stomach, says, “Wind,” and goes off to get something for wind. So this is wind. So Ani got wind. Sonia comes back, puts something in Ani’s mouth, and Ani conks out. Sonia didn’t even ask to see ID. I don’t know why she didn’t. I don’t know how Sonia knew it’s wind. I don’t know if they all get wind, all babies. They had to get it sometimes, or Sonia wouldn’t know.

So that is one thing Ani had in common with regular babies. She is a Sylvain hardy who got wind.

She is a Sylvain hardy sleeping all the way back to Elmhurst and when I put her down on the floor she keeps sleeping, and I am so tired from two trips to and from Ridgewood, I could hardly keep myself from crashing beside her but I’m pretty sure if I lie down, here we go again, but I must of done it anyhow because I woke up in broad daylight. We slept the whole night through. It is the first time in two months we slept the whole night through.

Everything seemed different when we woke up. Like, look at the sun! Look at the dirt!

Ani already woke up and didn’t even cry! She is lying in sunshine staring at me really hard, like, look at I! Like, whoa! I never saw anything this interesting before. So that is something we had in common. I thought she was interesting too.

Her face is three, four inches from me on the floor with sun all over, and her eyes popped really wide, so wide her lips popped open too. Pop!

She never made that noise before.

Then she gave me a look, like, oh! You think I didn’t do this before? Well that is one more difference between us. Come on. I do this all the time. She gave a kind of wink.

It was very cute.

Then she did it again. Pop!

It was so cute.

She did it again. Wink!

It was so cute, I had a thought I never thought before.

If she got wind, she has that in common with regular babies or how else did Sonia know what it was? So she could pass for regular.

But just the same time I thought that, I felt a, like, squeeze? Like how I felt when Rini said she’s not coming back for Madhur?

If she got wind like regular babies, what else does she get?

I threw Ani under my shirt and rushed out to message Rauden from the Roosevelt Avenue Board. It crashed. I ran all the way home and when I got there put her on the scale and weighed her. I don’t even know why I did. Three point eight kilos to find a working Boardan D i. Still alive.

I laid her on the floor, on a cloth. She went pop.

She followed me with her eyes when I walk one way by her. When I walked the other way, she followed me with her eyes the other way. When I stopped walking and looked down to where she lay on the cloth on the floor, she went pop.

It was so cute.

What I’m saying is, she is a Sylvain hardy and it is going to work for her the way it worked for me because it’s in the genes. But when did it start working for me? When I was two months, one week, five days old, was I a hardy yet?

How would I even know? I was inside Cissy Fardo’s basement. Inside, what was there to get?

I was in the basement a long time, too. All the kids were. It was the Big One. People kept their kids inside until it is safe. Even post Big One, it was Luzon or some other Epi, or they are afraid someone will give their kid a shot or steal them. Cissy Fardo was so old and scared, she kept me inside more than most.

What I’m saying is, Ani’s a Powell’s Cove hardy, a Sylvain hardy. But she is three point eight kilo. When I was three point eight kilo, I was inside.

She is a three point eight kilo hardy on the street.

Should I keep her in?

Well that is really going to work. I have to bring her out to even ask Rauden if I should keep her in? I’m not leaving her alone.

I make a burki from some nylon and wrap us up — at least now we look like everyone else, but it is really hot and took a really long time to find a working Board and message Rauden what to do. He messaged walk around. See what happens. So I walked around. I saw what happened. What happened was, we didn’t get anything. I don’t know what that proves. It could prove she’s a Sylvain hardy. It could prove I am a bad mother. Maybe I am.

On the street, they show posters, here is what happens if you do not give your child the Mumbai shot. It is a dead baby. It has turned blue.

Three months old. Still alive.

She had the little blue vein beside the eyebrow. I guess it is ok.

On the street, someone has crossed out “not” on all the posters, like, here is what happens if you do give your kid the shot.